<p>I live about an hour away from Berkeley. Since it's so close, my parents intend to visit me every so often (perhaps biweekly) up to my dorms because I have relatives who live right next door to the city (the excuse to come visit).</p>
<p>Should I be happy about this? It's nice that my parents want to keep an eye on me/care about me, but I do want to experience living away from home/without direct contact.</p>
<p>I would be ****ed, but if my parents did come I would probably keep them away from the dorms. I would probably take them to lunch or something, then say I had to study for something.</p>
<p>Parents are supposed to take you to lunch. </p>
<p>I'd just tell my parents that there is are: girl(s) and/or drugs inside my room and they are not welcome, but my parents are pretty cool like that.</p>
<p>Well, you're not really independent yet. I mean, your parents ARE paying for that dorm room. Seeing your parents a couple times a week is no price to pay for your freedom.</p>
<p>isn't biweekly once a 2 weeks? that sounds manageable. Just tell them ahead of time they can't be staying there a long time, just an hour for lunch or something.</p>
<p>It seems that they will visit during the night time, not lunch hour!</p>
<p>Unless your parents are especially unreasonable, I would just talk with them. Sending you to college means they basically have to trust that you've been raised properly already. Keeping an eye on you every two weeks (potentially messing up at least one party every other friday night) won't really change your behavior, but might mess with your social life. </p>
<p>Have you tried simply asking them to give you more space? It was your decision not to go to school somewhere else just to be away from them, maybe ask why you should be penalized for staying close to home...</p>
<p>I'm not a big fan of having parents visiting semi-often. I would go with it to begin with, but if at any point you feel it intrudes on your college experience, tell them.</p>
<p>tell them that they can visit once a month then. You might hurt their feelings if you completely cut them off. Say, how about once every two times you come up here you can visit me, and explain to them how you need to learn to be independant</p>
<p>unlimitedx, </p>
<p>If it is important to you to set up guidelines, by all means do so. Or, at least discuss with your parents. Possibly, suggest what/when you may want to see them.</p>
<p>I live 15 minutes away from CAL, and my S is a sophomore. When, I dropped him off last fall, I asked him if he had any concerns/constraints about me calling him (he didn't). During the year, if I wanted to see him I called to see if he wanted to get some sushi or go hear music (my treat). We have some common interests, so would get together periodically.</p>
<p>We already have plans to go to some CAL Performances shows together - since I go anyways and students are half-price. This is something we've done even while he was at home. </p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>It's not wrong for your parents to visit you. And instead of thinking of ways that they can't see you, why not think of ways they can. Avoidingwork had a great plan to see CAL Performances with the parents. If they just want to spend time with you, that's the perfect way to do it. But they love you, and setting restrictions or letting them know they aren't completely welcome into your life is a fine way to pay them back for almost 2 decades of parenting.</p>
<p>While you are correct, Marie, to some degree, I think it is unfair for the student, who really is the focus of college, to have his college experience reduced by parents that visit too often. I'm not saying cut them off completely, but if every weekend my parents came over I would feel awkward and less inclined to go out with friends. It's nice they put two decades of parenting into their child, but they still need to let go.</p>
<p>What about when you're an adult? Married, with kids, and they're over ever day because they want to visit all the time. Ever seen "Everybody Loves Raymond"? Parenting doesn't entitle you to everything, and part of parenting is letting go when the time is appropriate.</p>
<p>I just think that instead of lying to them and saying you need to study or hurting their feelings and telling them they can't stay too long, you should tell them exactly what you said in your original post. They should understand that you'd like to be on your own and not feel like Big Brother's watching. I'm sure this can be worked out.</p>