My son has applications in at 4 schools, going in this fall as a repeat freshman. He is a multi-sport recruited athlete with SSAT’s in the high 90’s, and if lucky enough to be accepted, will be attending a top 10 BS, as he has only applies to top 10 schools. He is very, very intelligent, but as is the case with many teenagers, occasionally needs to be reminded to brush his teeth and clean his ears, and the prospect of him waking up on his own for 8 AM classes frightens me. Organizationally, he is a bit of a blizzard, although we have seen improvement there over the last year. Based on his history, I fear lost books and sports equipment in every corner of campus.
Can anyone reassure me that the top boarding schools are used to and have ways of dealing with kids likes this and that he and we will survive???
I can’t reassure you that our school or any has it figured out. What I can reassure you is that in our experience- he will figure it out. There will be mishaps and consequences along the way. But at the end of our kids BS journey - they were amazing confident, capable students and humans.
This was one of the best outcomes of attending BS for us. They had to learn to be responsible for their own success. Mommy wasn’t there to save them. It also dramatically improved our relationship -as I no longer nagged them daily. None of ours were perfect at it. We have some pretty unbelievable stories ( like the time we showed up to DS game and realized he overslept and wasn’t there). It wasn’t as easy for them as if they lived at home- but definitely worth it.
Our experience was very similar to Vegas’. After significant “propping up” and support during middle school, DS has been required to be the manager of ALL his own STUFF… from homework and time management to self-advocacy and seeking help, from learning how lousy he feels when he only eats crap to keeping himself and his clothes relatively clean, from making his own decisions about clubs and trips to join, to leadership positions to apply to. It has been a learning curve, and like Vegas’ kid, he hasn’t always been successful. But, guess what? These faculty have been dealing with disorganized boys (and girls, I suppose) for far longer than I have. They know the right amount of support to give, when to pull back, and when to push. We have found his coaches, dorm deans and advisors to be far better at teaching him to manage his STUFF than we ever were at propping him up. And, now we can focus on enjoying the time we spend together, watching him play sports, hanging out over breaks, without the stress and nagging that came when we he lived at home.
My daughter became much more organized once she started BS, out of pure necessity of surviving between classes and activities without parents doing it for her.
@Korab1 you just described my son exactly. In fact I had to check to be sure I didn’t post this myself a year ago. Not kidding. Except the multi sport recruited athlete part. My son is at PEA now and it is truly sink or swim BUT the schools do know who can succeed in their environments. The kids struggle at first. Some far more than others. But they learn by observation, necessity, osmosis etc. if he doesn’t get in perhaps he will reapply and be ready for the next year. If he does. Tie your hat on. LOL.
Realized I never thanked everyone for their posts in this thread. It was at a time when I was having issues with my account here and posts weren’t going through. So, very belatedly, thank you.