Itcannotbetrue: no offense taken. I have a lot of experience with elite private schools, public and gifted/public. I see an enormous amount of illusion and delusion about the boarding schools under discussion here. The assumption that children admitted to these schools are nicer, kinder, smarter, better and so on is absolutely ludicrous. Further, many hyper competitive children and their parents think these schools are a path to Ivy League and future success. …inserting oneself into a far more competitive pool makes it much harder to gain admission to an Ivy or other top school. That’s why so many of those are legacies. Some of these schools want as many legacies as possible because it improves their admit rates. i could post dozens and dozens of stories illustrating that these kids are not nicer, kinder or any better than the rest of humanity despite their SSAT scores
@Center, can you share what positive things in boarding schools make your child to still apply to them, when kids at the boarding schools are not nice and attending one makes it harder to gain admission at top colleges?
Yes, I second @jwalche . You must believe that there are somebody positive aspects to BS? I would like to hear them 
Of course there are positive aspects to BS! My dissent isn’t over the value of BS/private school but the assumptions that kids at these schools are nicer or smarter than everywhere else. Most BS’s and private schools are very mediocre. Many are fantastic. We know who they are. While admissions committees may make statements using words like community service, holistic, kindness and empathy in their wish lists, it is really like many mission statements–1)based on an ideal world and 2)used as a marketing tool. I know personally numerous families/kids at a dozen schools right now. Nice? Some. Entitled? Most. Raised to have proper manners, especially when necessary? All. Smart? Smart enough. At every HADES school I would bet than the best scores, in general, come from non-legacy students. The nicest kids are probably the lower and middle class kids. The most competitive kids are probably FA and middle class kids. The best students are probably FA and non legacy kids. Would these schools love a bunch of nice community service kids? I am sure that some of that is valued but no one wants a whole school of that. Where would your masters of the universe come from? LOL. Oh to answer your questions: diversity, small class size, a more consistent education ethic.
Hopefully my daughter will find it a bit differently than you described. After being homeschooled for whole life, she is going to a BS for social experience and not for academics.
Jwaiche: I find your comments strangely disconnected from what I write. Nothing I am saying has anything to do with what you hope for your daughter. We are also going for the boarding aspect as well as other things. My kids are somewhat socially awkward and wonky. They need the experience to grow socially. Your daughter will meet nice kids and not nice kids. That is the world, in and out of BS. I should add that these schools are VERY socially competitive. There is a lot of money and social status pecking order stuff. Doesn’t mean there isn’t also serious value but it is what it is.
@Center, Ok. I think now I am slowly understanding what you have been saying. Actually I don’t think I am disagreeing with you. No, I didn’t think it would be all rosy and cuddly. I agree that there will be social competition.
One of our Choate student guides is probably one who is in the top of such pecking order, extremely confident and bright, dean’s list, leader of a very prestigious student club, tall, pretty, fit and stylish with designer apparel and skilled makeup. I was a bit intimidated but daughter was fascinated! And the other student guide, a freshman, assured us by stepping in at several just right moments to explain how a new freshman will be guided and helped to adjust to the new social and academic challenge. But I did feel that it would still not be enough for some socially awkward students, and if daughter could handle it. Daughter assured me that Choate would give enough chance for her to grow independent and get adjusted while Exeter seems to just assume that freshmen are already fully mature and independent.
Compare to other schools, Choate seem to provide much more opportunities (and require awful lot more time commitment) to college like (versus home like) active social events. That can be good or bad depends on each child.
Jwaiche: great to hear back from you. :). I agree with what you are saying. Actually while I think all of these schools have many similar issues, the bigger schools may have greater opportunity for sub groups of wildly divergent personalities and so forth. Much like a tiny college v. university. I see what you mean about some schools expecting 100% at day 1 whereas others expect that children will grow and mature over time and they are on board to support it. I must confess that I worry about mine next year. Appears mature and confident but somewhat shy and inhibited in truth. Once we find out what our choices are it will be interesting…
What I heard from Choate was, if I am correct, the school gives more whole-school free periods than any other comparable schools. Combined with bigger size and more variety, this leads to deeper and heavier involvement for clubs or other EC of choice, hence more social interaction and opportunities.
On comparison, Exeter is even larger, but is more focused on academics and academics related clubs, hence less social interaction than smaller Choate
I have a friend at Choate who got in as an international student, and he’s very happy there. If international students can fit in without a problem, I’m sure the rest of us will be able to find our place there as well. There are indeed more free periods and sleep-in times at Choate than any other school, and students only need to take 5 classes, as opposed to 6 or 7. I visited Choate, and still liked it although it seemed very spread out and bigger than even the more populated schools, like Andover and Exeter. I think AOs have a huge impact on one’s view of the school. My AOs at Choate, Loomis, and Exeter were much nicer than the ones I had at Hotchkiss and Andover. Andover and Choate were my dream schools, but I think now my dream schools have changed to Exeter and Choate, just because of the AOs and the tour guides there.