My child is applying to Choate. One criteria is she wants to go to a “nice” school, not just where the kids are nice but where the faculty and administration is understanding and accepting of a wide range of kids.
Do kids get lost in the shuffle as it is so big? How strict is the discipline for minor things (NOT drugs, drinking etc. but forgetting homework or being up past lights out watching Netflix) Are kids expected to be super independent, or is it understood that a 9th grader may need some extra help adjusting to being away from home?
Is there anyone here who will say that the faculty and admin at ANY BS is not understanding and accepting of a wide range of kids? These folks have made career choices to live among teens 24/7. They are a very special breed. And you have to define “big.” Each form at Choate is roughly 200 kids, hardly large enough to get lost in the shuffle compared to most high schools. The student:teacher ratio is 6:1; no one is getting lost academically or socially or personally unless they work at it. All BS expect a level of independence, but they vet for that during the application process. If your child is accepted, s/he passed that bar, and all schools work with their ninth graders to help them integrate into their new communities and lifestyles and learn the study and time management skills they need to be successful – that’s what “prep” is all about. I doubt very much that any of the BS talked about here differ significantly in any of these areas.
We certainly did not get that feeling at Choate and I agree, definitely yes to Loomis. This is just my opinion but Choate felt super “cold” to me (and my daughter as well). She’s not wed to small size or even nice but Choate didn’t fit us.
But, “supportive” is a pretty amorphous concept. Have you toured, visited, attended receptions? I think ideally you need to have several points of contact. If you are still unsure, I would still apply and then, if you get accepted, you will probably get a truer feel on Revisit day if it is “supportive” enough for your child.
Sorry to burst your bubble, ChoatieMom, but DD is going through something at Choate now and the faculty person involved is not giving me that “supportive” feeling. I’ll let you know in a week or so to see how it all works out… It involves some unsportsmanlike behavior towards my DD and the advice we got so far is to “lighten up.” Hmmm.
If you hang here long enough, you will hear every type of story and experience from every school. Parents and students gush about schools that end up in scandal and schools that have endured and moved beyond unfortunate events have provided wonderful educations and experiences for many. You will not hear me tout Choate as perfect but, overall, we found it a warm, supportive, and friendly community full of bright, inquisitive kids and top-notch teachers and role models with a strong emphasis on integrity. Were there exceptions to every adjective I used? Sure. Does that diminish the school? No. Is any other school any different? From reading here, I’d say no, which is why I kinda yawn when I see threads asking for schools that are . Some schools ARE smaller/larger, some schools ARE more/less rural, some schools are/aren’t single sex, some schools do/don’t accommodate learning disabilities etc., but I think beyond those types of distinguishing characteristics that you can easily vet online, all of these schools are pretty wonderful places to be. They do have vibes, and you/your student will gravitate to some and not others, but no one here can tell you how YOU will experience that vibe, and I’ve seen so many posts that completely contradict one another. For every comment about a school being or , you will find an opposing comment.
So, read thoroughly here with an open mind. Use common sense. Do your own research. And visit–with the understanding that one contact with any school (good or bad) may not be representative of what that school is truly like.
@mexusa: No bubble burst. Our son experienced a few unfortunate interactions. It happens. Your daughter’s issue will get resolved; I’m sure you know the escalation path if you feel you need to take it. I’m sorry she’s going through this, though.
It is worth commenting that these schools are hotbeds of competition, money, privilege, arrogance, kumbaya liberalism, old money hubris and everything else…:). These things happen everywhere but it is more pronounced in these little worlds at each school.
Loomis AO was pretty rude to us and we found Choate AO very warm. LoL
I had brought along DS’s SSAT score report in early fall visit. AOs at other schools were like “sure, I’ll take it”, “I’ll keep it in file”, “he did very well!” Loomis AO said “So he tests well” with smirk (what else is new here, pose) - perhaps her lunch didn’t sit well or she was sick that day. I try not to interprete people’s bad behavior.
It is a mistake to judge a school by one tour/visit. Tour guides and AOs (who may be having a bad day) have so much influence. Revisit day can give a whole lot different perspective.
I think once the school accepts a student (meaning it thinks the student will thrive at the school) the school will support the student to succeed.
Choate AO was very warm but Loomis AO (We met at TSAO event but didn’t apply) was even nicer and sweeter. Judging entire school’s culture based on one AO’s one day’s mood might be premature, even though our instinct tend to lead us that way.
What I heard at Choate visit is that there are resident advisers each helping 6-8 students to get them adjusted. I can’t imagine that they won’t try their best to help new students to get adjusted.
But we also noticed that the school is large so small groups are bound to be formed. You can be friends to all 200 grade mates, but you can’t interact with all of them daily. Also the school’s amazing facilities seem to be designed for students of certain level of maturity and self management skill. It seemed giving more open time that each student can use for sports, club activities, art, social interaction, or more academics than other schools. (Our tour guide was having 3 periods science (1 for a regular biology and 2 for a special research project) in addition to all the regular requirement and being the editor of a newspaper. I can imagine that a less independent student can get lost more easily than in some school with 1/3 of student size and all students are more closely controlled for school-wide group activities for all students to uniformly participate.
Before we visited schools, they all seemed to be similar and only their rankings and endowments were noticeable to us. But after visiting them and trying to poke into students mind as much as we can, and explorer the school as much we can, now all the schools we visited seem to be clearly distinct, and we are clearly seeing the fits. That’s not necessarily a good thing because now my daughter has developed clear favor to certain schools, including Choate, even though those schools are very selective and we have no big expectation to be admitted by any of them. She is an Asian girl with full FA needs. And she is even a young than the most.
Choate was appealing to her strongly because of it’s wider activities (including more academics/researches) to choose for its more free time, in a more college like setting. Daughter has been in local community college campus for two years, dreaming participating to college-like activities that are not well supported there due to busy working community college students, lack of school fund and other resources, and age difference between her and other students. After visiting Choate, I commented on it’s lack of more close-knit school wide family-like community experience at the cost of more independence and freedom in choice of activities. She said “but aren’t those what I am looking for in boarding school experience?”
Also, I tried to minimize the AO’s personality influencing to me. Sometimes I felt a bit cold and mechanical at a parent interview, and sometimes I felt more welcomed. But I realize that they can get sometimes tired and hungry, or plain bored (especially if they are not into visual arts themselves!) and it has little to do with general school philosophy and it won’t jeopardize daughter’s application.
After all, she is going to be spending more time with students and faculty rather than admission officers, once she gets in there. I paid more attention to students including the tour guide, and how their facilities are interacting with the students, and how the entire system and philosophy are molding the students.
I agree it’s hard to use a one day visit for a couple of hours to judge, but here’s my two sense. I think we had the same impression/vibe as @Center and @MAandMEmom. Half way through the visit, DS told us “it’s not for him.” Conversely, he LOVED Loomis. As a parent, I certainly felt a different vibe, maybe different type of kid, not sure how to explain it, but Loomis felt to all of us as more accepting of all ranges and an overall more nurturing environment.
I do also agree with @ChoatieMom and enjoy reading her posts…we might be talking about degrees between schools, rather than gulfs…
I am a Choate Freshman and tour guide, and boy do I love this school. I think one of the most important things about Choate is its size, because it is bigger than alot of the other school we have an insane breadth of opportunities. Student’s have the resources to truly excel in all areas. However, Choate is extremely focused on making sure that the size doesn’t cause students to get lost. You can really feel that there always people looking out or you here. For minor things, especially as a freshman, the discipline is very reasonable. They are more focused on teaching you good habits rather than punishing you. For instance for being up past lights out one could receive a small punishment like cleaning up the common room (normally with a friend who also got caught). As a Choate student you are expected to be independent. However, because we have live in advisors and prefects (seniors who live in the underclassman’s dorms) there are people watching out for you all the time. Once a week the advisors, prefects, and deans have a meeting to make sure that all the kids are doing OK. I found coming to Choate to be an easy adjustment however I have some friends who didn’t and I know that they received a lot of support. It is a great school with a fantastic community that truly cares about each individual student and I would definitely recommend applying.
Large school? Try 3100 at our LPS. In fact, each and every public HS in our area is at least at 2200. Makes 860 seem like a little Montessori school.
As for Choate…it is not a warm and fuzzy school. However, I’m not even sure what that term really means as I am a product of one of frightfully large aforementioned PS and a public state college (gasp). I CAN tell you, however, that our son did not have a smooth start but had support over the bumps of the Fall term 100% of the way. There are good advisers and bad advisers, good teachers and bad teachers, and good coaches and bad coaches at every school. It is a fact of life that teenagers will encounter difficulty in high school and most certainly in an environment where they are managing their academics, social, and hygiene (!) independently.
As for major assumptions about what a “good” school fit is for the OP’s child, I would tread carefully here after just reading a paragraph or two about a child none of us have met. Really we should all know better…
@center , I am killing time tonight on CC 's mobile site during our last LAX tourney of the club season…my phone is literally heating up with your commentary! You seem a little biased already…maybe BS/prep school isn’t the right fit for you/your child since you already have so many well-formed, strong opinions? I am not trying to be dismissive or rude. Just an observation from reading a few threads that you have participated in.
