How to convince a parent to not do college, do technical school

<p>I have someone who is quite close to me (my own sister). Her oldest might graduate high school in a year and a half. Thing is, her oldest has always majorly struggled with high school. Her PSAT scores were below 110 last year as a sophomore. She is barely passing classes right now. She has tried to tell her mom she does not want to go to college. My sister insists she has to go to college or her life will be ruined. I have tried to convince my sister to let her go to community college and get a technical degree. Then later, she can upgrade that to a bachelors. But my sister is all upset over this and insists her daughter won't be able to support herself and will earn so little if she does not go to college for a bachelors degree. </p>

<p>I know I have heard of a fair number of people going back to college, at a community college, to get technical training, after they already have their bachelors, because they cannot find a job with the bachelors and then they found good jobs with the technical training. </p>

<p>Anyone have any articles or links I can share with my sister? She is just struggling so much right now. This is not a case of a young adult who can try and make it work in college. This is a case, the 17 yr old in question has even been skipping school and now is likely going to transfer schools by Christmas because she is flunking. The school is trying to work with them to find some way she can pass and still graduate. And my sister is all worked up that she HAS to be at a 4 yr university, not a community college. And that a technical degree is nonsense and is no different than having nothing. (my sister has 2 graduate degrees and really thinks her daughter will always struggle and have a horrible life if she does not get similar degrees)</p>

<p>So any links to articles or websites or such to share, to help my sister with this, would be great. Thanks!</p>

<p>While it’s true looking for a job with a high school diploma will lead to a lot of struggles, getting a degree or certificate past that is what’s needed. It doesn’t need to be a 4 -year degree but it has to be something. An apprenticeship scheme for plumbing, carpentry, etc, would be an excellent vocational certificate and experience to have, one leading to a rather well-paid job.
Unfortunately, I don’t have articles to back this up… I tend to store stuff in my memory rather than archiving links. :s</p>

<p>What does the daughter want to do? If she is failing her classes, chances are not good that she would be accepted to a 4-year college. She needs to find something she’s passionate about that she would be motivated to study. If it’s something for which a 4-year degree is required, a community college would be the way to start because they don’t even look at your HS grades (as long as you graduate) so it’s like starting with a clean slate. Then as long as her grades are good at the cc, she can likely transfer to a 4-year college. However, that’s not the path for everyone. Many programs at cc’s can be completed in a year or two & have 100% job placement rates. I would take a look at the website for a cc near them & look at the placement rates for various programs & maybe you can convince your sister with that information.</p>

<p>I don’t have any links to share but I think your advice to her is sound. A kid who is flunking out of high school and doesn’t seem to care isn’t likely to do well going straight into college. I would ask your sister what kind of great job she envisions her daughter might get when she just barely graduates from a college with a 1.6 GPA in a not-very demanding major? What doors will be opened to her if she flunks out of college, which seems very likely from the information you gave. Maybe it would be beneficial for the student to take a year off and work. Perhaps that would convince her to be more serious about her schooling, perhaps give her time to think about vocational education.</p>

<p>Perhaps your local community college has some more vocational tracks she could pursue. That way she would be going to “college” but would be getting training for something not requiring a four year degree.</p>

<p>There are a lot of two year degrees that pay very well, some even more than 4 year degrees.</p>

<p>Is there a Voc-Ed program she could be in now instead of in a regular academic-only high school? In our school district, lots of kids who complete the Voc-Ed programs do decide to continue on with college (either 2 year or 4 year). This young lady needs to be in a situation where she can be successful NOW, not later. That she has such a long record of lack of academic success makes me wonder if she has some learning issues going on that her mom is in denial about. Talk to your sister about having her screened for those as well.</p>

<p>A kid who scores a 110 on the PSAT is not going to be ready for college-level work, even at the least rigorous, least competitive school she can find. Clearly, this girl has an undiagnosed learning disability or just isn’t interested in school. Sending her to college will only make her feel like a failure. </p>

<p>If you are close to your niece, you might ask if she wants help finding a career that really interests her. Kids who find a passion, or at least a strong interest, are usually self-motivated.</p>

<p>If this were my child, I would:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Have a battery of psychological assessments to understand how her capabilities compare to her achievement, and which subjects her capabilities and achievement are the strongest in.</p></li>
<li><p>I would also work with her myself or get tutoring to support her in improving her level of achievement in light of her capability level.</p></li>
<li><p>Given her capability and achievement levels, I would identify potential vocational or associates degree options that are within her ability levels and have stronger employment and salary prospects.</p></li>
<li><p>I would work with her to try and identify areas of interest from within the group of options that provide the best chances for success.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Happymom…the Voc-Ed high school programs around here are highly competitive! A student with a low GPA would have difficulty getting accepted.</p>

<p>That said…I agree with looking at her interests and helping her find a program that will meet her needs and interests. Community colleges are open enrollment, and she might just find something interesting there.</p>

<p>It sounds to me like the mom could use some counseling. Or the mom and daughter, together.</p>

<p>The mom needs help accepting the kid she has, who is no doubt capable of many things: they just don’t match exactly what she envisions.</p>

<p>It can sometimes take patience and creativity on the parent’s part, but these situations can work out very well. Community college is not the only option, but it is a good one.</p>

<p>And doing some neuropsych. testing is in order, for sure.</p>

<p>What does the daughter want to do?</p>

<p>If the daughter is “barely passing” (D grades) classes in high school, she is unlikely to be admitted to any worthwhile four year school. Going to community college is probably the best option after high school; that gives options of education for various skilled jobs that do not need a bachelor’s degree as well as the option to prepare for transfer to a four year school to complete a bachelor’s degree if she is a late bloomer in the academic subjects.</p>