Fyi, before anyone just assumes it’s a money thing. I am paying for my own college. I will be taking out loans, and will be doing it all on my own (my grandfather may contribute some of it, however he doesn’t care where I go. He will contribute regardless).
Anyway, my parents are really gun ho about me staying home for college and going to my local college (SUNY Albany). I am a transfer student, and I recently been getting quite a few acceptance letters. SUNY Buffalo, SUNY Binghamton, CUNY City (I will be paying in state tuition). I am still waiting for SUNY Stony Brook and RPI. For the out of state schools, I got into Temple University.
I am glad I got into a lot of good schools and have a decision to make, however my parents have no idea I applied to out of state schools. I have kept this a secret to them, as I have played for all the app fees. I feel my parents will be mad at me for wanting to go to school away from home, and ultimately not be happy for me. I want them to be happy for me, I want the to be proud of me, I am proud of myself for really succeeding in my academic career. Ultimately, I am afraid I will just choose SUNY Albany because they want me to, and that’s where they want me to go. When really it’s not where I wanna go. How can I talk about this to my parents, and hopefully have them accept my decision?
How are you paying for college?
Loans? You cannot take more than the standard $5500ish per year loans without a co-signer.
Your parents do not have to cosign as they are responsible if you don’t pay.
Why woudl you want to pay more for Temple than for SUNY Bing, a top 5 Kiplinger Value school?
I would choose an affordable in-state school. Remember you have to be able to get home for breaks How will you do that?
For each school, what is the net price and grandfather contribution? Remember that the amount of loans you can borrow is limited.
Unfortunately, if you are not yet independent for FAFSA purposes (age 24, married, military veteran), you need your parents’ cooperation on the FAFSA to get the federal direct loans ($7,500 for junior and senior years), so they still have veto power over your college choice if you need those federal direct loans to afford the college.
@bopper If I go away, I will most likely go to an in-state school. Most of the SUNY schools have affordable tuition. SUNY Bing and Buffalo are wonderful schools that I am really considering. And for your last part, I am clearly gonna have to talk to them about it. I am gonna have to take out loans regardless, wherever I go to school (even if I ultimately stay at home).
@ucbalumnus Each of the three schools I am interested in is roughly around $22k a year. My grandfather is more than likely going to contribute towards my tuition, so that will knock out the $8k.
You want your parents to trust you, to believe you have the maturity to go away to school.
But you’ve been letting them think that you’re going to SUNY Albany-- in effect, lying to them about your plans. As a parent, I would have some serious trust issues with this scenario.
And to reiterate, you can’t afford to go away to school (Room and Board, ball park $12,000 + $8000 SUNY instate tuition) on the $5500 you can borrow without their help.
Staying home and going to SUNY Albany will cost ballpark $8000. Going away adds on, minimum, $12,000 or $13,000 per year.
Will you be a sophomore or a junior? If you will be a sophomore, you will be able to borrow $6,500. If you will be a junior, you will be able to borrow $7,500.
Do you have any income or savings that you can chip in? Or are you limited to the student loan plus what your grandfather can pay?
@bjkmom I have tried to previously talk about this even before the school year began. I told my mom that I may be considering other options (I didn’t know what it was at the time), and all she told me was “It’s your loans, do what you want.” While yes that is true, I didn’t exactly consider that as a “mom response” sort of say, so I let it be and just said forgot about it. I think she ultimately didn’t think I know what I was doing. My mom knows I am a very responsible, mature, I have a part time job on top of 19 credit hours.
Welchie, I am sure you are a very responsible and mature person.
But I’m not sure you’ve done the math correctly on the away from home options. You cannot borrow the amount that you need.
Before setting off WW3 in your house, why not have a detailed and granular discussion with your grandfather where you lay out “This is what Binghamton will cost. I can borrow 6500. That leaves a gap of X. Are you prepared to pay that for the next Y years? If that’s more than you had planned I need to know now- I am so grateful for your help, but I can’t be looking at moving away from home without knowing where the money is coming from.”
Bottom line- unless your grandparent is prepared to pay that, you can’t borrow enough to move out.
“Going away” (paying another $12/per year for room/board) isn’t worth it if you are going to have to take on that much extra debt to do it. You are lucky you have a local school and your parents are willing to help you by providing room and board. You won’t regret making a wise decision to take on as little debt as possible.
$22k net price minus $8k grandparent contribution leaves $14k. If you borrow $7,500, that leaves $6,500 that you would have to earn from work, which would be rather stretchy.
If you live with your parents to attend Albany, would they subsidize your costs living there, or would they expect you to pay the costs of that (and how much)?
Where are you transferring FROM? And why? Who is paying for that college?
ETA…it sounds like you are currently at a community college. Second year…is that correct?
As others have noted…your ability to get a loan all by yourself will be VERY limited, $7500 and likely will NOT cover the costs of any of the colleges you have listed…if you live on campus. Sorry…not enough.
The best way to talk to them is to work up your budget with actual figures including books, entertainment, transportation, etc. show them your financial package from the school. Find out exactly how much your grandparent will pay and for how many years. Pull up your bank account. Factor in the federal loan you can qualify for. If you can prove with actual figures and money in hand that you can afford to go elsewhere, they may be receptive. If you just tell them “I think grandpa will give 8k and I’m going to work after school”… they aren’t going to buy it.
Have you considered going to Albany but living away from home? Get an apartment. Pay your tuition. You’d be away from home but also have a safety net in case it’s harder than you think (and it always is.)
At this point you need to know EXACTLY how much your grandfather WILL contribute, since tne entire plan rests on that. Albany sounds like a great option, as it will save you a lot of money.
Don’t forget that going away to school is a LOT more expensive than just what the net price calculator spits out. In reality, LIFE is way more expensive anywhere you are than what the net price calculator spits out.
My wife and I started have serious financial discussions with our son starting in 10th grade. Numbers on a page and bank account totals kind of discussions. In the end, we limited his choices and he made a decision within that budget. It was a compromise, but everybody can live with it. That being said, it has easily cost a couple thousand more than we expected in travel expenses, lodging, clothes, and even entertainment. It’s all manageable, but it adds up.
Life happens. Debt accrues. You have options, but add 10%-15% to your estimates.
It is a money thing. Tuition is 2-3 times more for out of state than in-state. The cap for federal loans on an entire 4 year degree plan is 27k. Unless your parents are willing to spend the additional $100,000 to cover the balance of tuition, you’re not going to afford to go out of state. The only alternative is to have your parents co-sign private loans, which is a very bad idea. The loans would cripple you, and if you can’t make payments, the bank seizes your parent’s assets. I really don’t see a problem with SUNY Albany
Buffalo is better handle Albany for CS. Bing also. So, do you qualify for the Excelsior or the STEM scholarships? If so, your plan is doable. If not, it’s going to be complicated.