I am 18 years old, going to be 19 in May. I am doing my first two years at my local community college, but after I get my associates I wanna transfer out. My parents have kept implementing me to go to this one school that’s nearby, as it is really good, I want to go out and live on campus. There is this college in Long Island, Stony Brook, that I fell in love with. It’s got everything I need, it’s a public college, and it is affordable. I know my parents are going to say no, they won’t let me live on my own like that. How can I get it so they can agree to let me do what I want when it comes to a situation like this?
Are your parents recent immigrants? Any background story here to shed light on their reasoning?
Have you discussed finances with them? Have you run the Net Price Calculator to get an estimate of costs of attendance?
What are their expectations? You’ll be 20 when you transfer, at what point do they think you can live on your own? Is this a financial decision or your parents really not wanting you to leave home?
Which school is near your home? Another SUNY?
Don’t bother having this argument now. Spend the next 2 years at your CC excelling and demonstrating responsibility. Two years from now, they probably will look at things differently.
Well the reasoning is that my parents are ju still not ready to let me be on my on own for a few months at a time. I personally feel that this would be good for me. It’s not a financial reason either, I know this dont cover room and board but NYS passed it so I can get tuition-free schooling. Besides the tuition difference between Albany and stony brook are the same.
It doesn’t cover room and board…or fees…or books. Or incidental expenses. It ONLY covers tuition.
It’s NOT free college for students who live on campus, or in their own apartments.
@sybbie719 how much are the room, board, fees, and discretionary spending amounts…about? I’m going tomguess in the $13,000 a year…or maybe a little more range.
@welchie98 how much of that can you pay all by yourself?
According to the SUNY.edu site, direct costs for in state students are about $20,700. This includes $6,470 for tuition, which is what can be covered by the Excelsior for those who are eligible. So the costs are in the 13k range. I don’t know if Pell or TAP can be used for those other expenses or if the tuition amount is the maximum available no matter how many of the other awards you are eligible for. The discretionary spending amounts would vary depending on where you are and what the travel costs, etc. are.
My understanding is the Excelsior is the last pay option. In other words…it will cover up to full tuition after all other awards are applied to the tuition costs.
to the OP: you can do whatever you want with your own money.
If you’re an 18 yrd old adult and are paying your own way, then go to whatever school will accept you.
Don’t let them limit you. They don’t have the right to tell you what to do with your money.
Of course, otoh, if you’re not an adult, or if you’re not paying your own way, then your parents are offering you the gift of whatever they are paying for you. You don’t have the right to tell them what to do with their money.
Would they let you go to the college that is very nearby, but live on campus? That way they might feel safer because you are nearby, and if anything goes wrong you could be home quickly. However, you would still have the “live on campus” experience. I realize that living outside of your parent’s home will cost something, but I think that the experience of living on your own is an important one.
As a parent, I feel that going to university and living on campus is sort of like a “half way house” between being a child who lives at home and is supported by parents in nearly all ways, versus being an adult who lives on your own and looks after yourself with no help at all from parents. By the time that you are 20, IMHO as a dad, I think that it will be valuable for you to have some experience living away from your parents. They won’t be there forever.
In discussing this with your parents you need to remain calm and respectful at all times. Perhaps you could point out to them that you are not going to live in their house forever, and you need to have some experience living outside of the house in a supportive and relatively safe community as you will find in a university.
TAP is only for tuition. Then Pell will be used to cover rest of tuition. If there is anything leftover, the rest of
Pell can cover other costs. If TAP and Pell cover tuition, then there is no Excelsior.
The expectation is averaging 30 credits per year, minimum gpa, stay in NY and work one year for every year Excelsior was received.
I agree, wait and see how things go at CC, do well. Then depending on major, one of the other SUNYs might be a better choice.
You can only get free tuition if
- Your parents make under $100k a treat.
2 if you receive tap and/or pell your tuition gets paid by them first. If there is any leftover balance on your tuition then re scholarship kicks in - The scholarship does not cover fees, room , Borden, boots or supplies
4 if your parents refuse to fill out the fafsa you will not receive any need based aid ( yes, they can refuse they are under no obligation to help you apply for financial aid)
Before you go burning any bridges with your parents, remember the golden rule, he who has the gold makes the rules.
If you need to go to CC go. Show them
That you are responsible enough to take care of your business and can be trusted to go away.
Perhaps your family cannot afford to pay for you to go away, which is why they are saying that you must stay home and to to a school that they could afford.
Did you get accepted to Stony Brook? What does your financial aid package look like ?
Is the reason financial or other?
I.e. if the away college costs less including living costs, would they still want you to commute to a local college?
Please clarify…
Are you going to be commuting from home to a CC for the next two years?
Is your concern about when you transfer TWO YEARS from now?
If so, then stop worrying about it NOW. Why worry now?
If not, are you trying to go away to school for THIS fall?
So if it’s not a financial reason, then your parents must have some other reason for not wanting you to spend junior and senior year of college away from home. Since they told you that they are still not ready to let you be on your own for a few months at a time, here are a few things to consider:
- Prove to them through your behavior, choices/decisions, grades, etc. that you ARE ready to live on your own away at college.
- If they're worried about safety on campus, do some research about the campus safety programs at the university. Print the stuff out from the website and show it to them. Make an agreement that you'd live in the dorms on campus. Show them info about security, etc. for the campus dorms...like swiping your student ID in order to get into the dorm, stuff like that.
- Make sure that you are doing whatever you can to get as good grades as possible at community college.
- Follow all of the house rules that your parents have for you while you're living at home. EVEN if you disagree with the rules. EVEN if the rules are annoying, constricting, etc.
- Make sure that you're making smart/wise choices when spending time out with your friends while you are still living at home. This may sound obvious, but don't do anything that could get you arrested.
- If your parents are paying for some or all of your education, then they are basically like your investors. You need to kind of do a sales pitch to your investors to convince them why agreeing to have you attend school out of town is a BETTER investment than the local investment that they know & are comfortable/familiar with. Ideas to consider on this would be stuff like:
- what's the prospects of internships at the away school vs the local school?
- is the graduation rate better at your target school?
- are the options for your preferred major(s) better at the target school?
- Is your major a "compacted" (i.e., it has a "pre-major" where you have to get a certain GPA & "apply" for the major before you're accepted into the major) one at the local college but at the "away" college, you'd be a direct admit into the major?
- Is there a specialization you're interested in for your major that's available at the away school but is NOT available at the local school?
- Are there better options for employment post-graduation at the away school compared to the local school?
- Have you presented your parents with your "4-5 year graduation plan" yet? In other words, what's your plan on how you will graduate in a timely manner? Oftentimes, colleges will post on their websites the "4-year plan" for a lot of their majors. At the very least, make sure that you are aware of what the general ed & major requirements are in terms of how MANY credits for which TYPE of classes are required...then put together an overall plan for the next couple of years to demonstrate HOW you will achieve those goals.
Do you see where I’m going with this? It’s not enough just to say to one’s parents something like “But I WANT to go away to school!”
Dorming at a SUNY is much more expensive than commuting. Tuition and fees are ~$8100. If you dorm, that adds an extra ~$12k. You seem to think you qualify for free tuition. If that’s true, your parents’ income has to be $100k or less. Even if you got the entire $5500 grant and took the ~$5500/year federal student loan you’d still need $8-10k/year to dorm. Can your parents pay that?
The maximum Excelsior grant is $5500, but it doesn’t stack with Pell and TAP (Tuition Assistance Program) grants so you may not be awarded $5500/yera. If a student receives enough Pell and TAP money to cover tuition, they won’t get an Excelsior grant. For example, a student who receives $4k Pell and $2500 TAP has enough to cover the entire $6500 SUNY tuition, so they wouldn’t qualify for an Excelsior grant at all. A student who receives $3k Pell and $1500 TAP still needs $2k to cover tuition, so they’d get an Excelsior grant to cover the $2k gap.
Can you commute to SUNY Albany? That’s a very good school.