<p>Find out what they view as important in a college other than proximity, appeal to that using UK (ex, if they want good career services, elaborate on UK’s, etc), lose the attitude, find out why they want you in-state (to maintain contact? In case of emergency?) and find a solution to that (weekly phone calls, buddy system), get scholarships at UK that top any you get at UNC, have a back-up plan if UK does fall through, and figure out legitimate reasons you want UK so badly, because you haven’t demonstrated many here.</p>
<p>Also, take them to tour UK if they haven’t already. It’s much easier to approve something tangible than it is something they’ve only seen pictures.</p>
<p>I think it’s great that you’ve found a school you’d be excited to attend! I’m a parent, and I advise that you listen to your parents and their reasons for staying in state. Truly acknowledge what they say, and tell them you will think about it.
After some time (weeks a least), tell them that you’ve thought it over and you still love UK. Give them a couple reasons why. Don’t freak out, just give them time to adjust. Your enthusiasm will win them over. Stay positive.</p>
<p>Don’t pick a school because of the basketball team (unless you were playing on it, and obviously that is not happening!). It is a seriously dumb reason to pick a college. Pick it because it is strong in your major, has a reasonable cost, because you have visited the campus and it feels like a lot of the students are like you, because it has good job placement in the area you expect to live in after graduation, and or/because it has a high graduation rate, </p>
<p>Also, there are 18,000 undergraduates at U of Kentucky. Sorry, but your first two years are going to be spent in very large classes – the small class size argument doesn’t wash. </p>
<p>What is your proposed major? Do you have any idea if the major is any good (or even offered) at UK? You sound like a 17 year old with an idealized picture of a college you have never visited (and a crush on the basketball team). No wonder your parents aren’t supportive… you have given no reasons that I would consider as a parent!</p>
<p>OP, let me tell you something about my experience as a dad with a daughter leaving home. She’s going to college 5 hours away, and I’m missing her already. This is despite the fact that she’s been 9 hours away for the last 7 weeks. Last autumn, she spent 3 months of a gap year in Florence BY HERSELF, and she has done two month-long Student Conservation Association wilderness projects where she was living with the bears, wolves, elk, moose, and 7 other people her age and a little older in Yellowstone and Alaska without any electronic contact with humanity. Places so remote they have to bring in food supplies by horse. These times when she is away were very hard on me and her mother, but she has come back so much stronger and so very happy each time that we stopped saying no.</p>
<p>1) Show your parents how to Skype, if they aren’t familiar with it. I’m serious. Get them proficient at using it. They are going to be missing you wherever you go, and Skype is almost as good as being there. Much better than phone calls and email. </p>
<p>2) I think you need to approach this more maturely. You’re not likely to win your argument with the reasons you’ve so far provided. Do write down the elements in their argument. Then write down yours. For any oos school, follow some of the suggestions laid out here by the annoying parents. Try to think like a parent. Simply overwhelm the rationale they have given for keeping you near home with a mature rationale of your own that responds to their argument. Perhaps you could think of this as a powerpoint project. </p>
<p>3) They need to understand that they can live without you for a month or more, and you can survive without them. Until they are shown that this can happen, they probably are going to have a lot of trepidation about agreeing to an oos school. Do you have any relatives in distant states that you could spend a couple weeks this xmas or hanukkah with? This would be very hard for both of you, and it would show you what it would be like for you and for them to not be home at an important family time. Ordinarily, I’d suggest a summer Student Conservation Association wilderness camp for a month, but we missed that opportunity. Good luck.</p>
<p>What are your stats? Could you get into the Honors College at UK? if you don’t have the stats yet, can you pre seriously and get a better SAT/ACT score in order to get into UK’s Honors College?
It’s going to be hard to convince your parents with basketball as your main reason, since the reason you’re supposed to be going to college is to learn, not to watch basketball.
Unfortunately, UK is not as good academically as many schools in North Carolina so it’d help if you get into the Honors College, as it’d show 1°you’ll get a benefit over UNC-CH 2° you’ll get a good education 3° you’re serious about your education, first.
Beside UNC-Ch and UK, what are the choices on your list - Villanova, Creighton…?
You need to have 2 safeties - schools you like and are 100% sure you can get into; several matches - schools you like and can get into, being around the top 25% mark for stats, as long as they admit 40% or more applicants; then, you can add reaches, such as UNC-CH.
If you can show your list to your parents, explaining your rationale for each, it’d go over better when you say your top choice remains UK Honors.</p>
<p>OP. Maybe you should take a gap year and grow up a bit. Your rationale for going out of state is very childish as is your approach to people giving you good advice. </p>
<p>The facts are that if you cannot pay for your own college, you are subject to the will of those who are paying. Since you are not listening to anyone with an opposing view here, I doubt you are truly listening to your parents’ position either.</p>
<p>Until you mature enough to be able to handle disagreement, it may be better if you don’t go to college at all. Once you are an independent, mature adult, you can go wherever your thoughts and checkbook can take you.</p>
<p>Understand that we are not trying to be mean to you. We are trying to help, just not in the way that you hoped.</p>
<p>I don’t think her approach is very childish. Posters essentially are just telling her that she’s wrong for wanting to go out of state and that she needs to grow up. If you are going to just tell her she is childish YOU are part of the problem and begging for an adversarial response. Sure she might want to get away from people she knows, and maybe she didn’t say that the best way, by saying she wants to get away from her friends, but there is a ton of value in having to go somewhere new where you know no one and being able to completely immerse yourself in that culture because of it. I agree with another poster that said if you can get into the honors college you would be able to better show your parents things that UK offers for honors students such as small classes. You can also probably tout the improved research/internship possibilities due to being in the honors college. Lastly, if you can get a scholarship then saving a ton of money might help convince your parents.</p>
<p>You need to get the book “Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World” because it has approaches that may work for you. </p>
<p>In my interpretation of the book (and I’m not an expert negotiator, so what you take away may be different) you have a bunch of reasons you find compelling. Compelling to you, that is. But you don’t have any buy-in on those reasons from your parents. So start, as the book suggests when dealing with hard bargainers, from learning their point of view. What criteria should you use to pick a college? And how do they know those are the right criteria? Is it from a book on admissions, talking to a college counselor? Once the criteria are settled you explore, with them, what schools meet that. You don’t try to “convince” anybody of anything. You work side by side to pick where you should apply. </p>
<p>I think you have nothing to lose by reading thru this book and trying it out. Your current approach seems to have run up against a wall, and more of the same is unlikely to break down the wall.</p>
<p>Honestly, go to whatever school you want to go to, but don’t make poor financial decisions or lose out of perfect opportunities. If your parents pull the, “I’m not helping you pay for that” move, tell them that you’ll figure it out on your own. My parents refused to let me go to Barrett @ ASU , but once I told them that I was going no matter what and they couldn’t stop me, they eventually came around. Just keep in consideration that you can’t go back and relive the college lifestyle, so you have to show your parents that you know this is for your own well being and that you are positive of your decisions. Be affirmative but respectful at the same time. Hope this helped.</p>
<p>Just an FYI, the GI Bill only covers up to the cost of in-state tuition and fees at public universities, but you’ll probably get covered under Yellow Ribbon assuming UK doesn’t hit their 60 student limit before you apply.</p>
<p>OP, I think your issue is that your reasons are not compelling because they can easily be countered and/or solved by in-state options. You say that you want a smaller environment, but UNC (18,579 undergrads) is actually smaller than UK (20,827 undergrads). The student to faculty ratio at UK (18:1) is actually bigger than that at UNC (13:1). And they both have very similar proportions of classes with 100+ students (6% at UK; 7% at UNC). Your intro classes are likely to be very big at either school. Plus, if I were your parent and I wanted you to stay in-state - and you said you wanted smaller class sizes - I would ask why you couldn’t go to UNC-Asheville, UNC-Greensboro, UNC-Wilmington, or App State, then.</p>
<p>Saying that you are a UK basketball fan wouldn’t help at all, since you can be a fan and not attend; and telling me that prominent people have attended UK also wouldn’t help, since the same is true of UNC. So I don’t think it’s that they’re not listening; it’s that you’re not giving them a good reason to change their minds.</p>
<p>So do a little more background research. What makes UK unique and different from UNC? Are there special academic offerings like a unique major, study abroad program, or special lecture series? As was already asked, can you get into the honors college? Do you want to go to grad school, and do you think you’d be a big fish in a smaller pond at UK? Is there some kind of special activity (other than going to basketball games) that you can do at UK but can’t do at UNC?</p>
<p>Also, you need to prove yourself mature enough to move away from home. A lot of parents prevent their kids from moving away from home because of fear - either fear that the student will be unable to handle themselves if they are far away, or just a general fear of their baby being far away from them in a place that’s difficult to reach easily. And yes, rationally speaking UK may be the same distance away as UNC, but in your parents’ minds they may as well be on different planets. Approach your parents like an adult and ask them about their fears. Why don’t they want you to go out of state? Press them to go further than the distance - “I hear you, but Lexington and Chapel Hill are about the same distance and the same amount of time away from us. See, I printed some maps for you. Is there another reason?”</p>
<p>I also don’t know if you are approaching your parents with the same kind of attitude you have here (“I WANT it, therefore you should give it to me/help me even though I don’t yet have a good reason why” - that’s how they are going to see it), but if that’s coming through you definitely want to amend that. You want your parents to see you as a responsible almost-adult who can handle herself in a different state. I also do not advise telling your parents you are going to UK no matter what and that they can’t stop you. First of all, that’s very adversarial and is unlikely to win you points. Second of all, it’s not true - unless you can get a full scholarship to UK, which seems unlikely. Your dad has to do the footwork to transfer his GI Bill eligibility to you and you can’t get it without his say-so.</p>