How to convince parents to let me go to a boarding school?

Prep School Admissions
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<p>I'm in 8th grade, I have an A average, love writing, and will soon be learning the keyboard. I'll be going to the local high school for 9th grade, but recently, my parents brought up the question if I wanted to go to a private school. After weeks of research, I've decided instead that a boarding school would be best. I feel, as though that I'm, too dependent. I'd really like the opportunity to be independent, and learn how to cope with different personalities. One of my major faults is that I over-react negatively to minor changes. I'd like to fix that, and I really WANT to be more independent. Also, I feel like the public education system isn't challenging, at all. Honestly, I feel like I'm putting 1% of my efforts in and I still maintain an A average. I would rather be challenged into trying my best, and exploring my abilities. I do admit, I'd be a melted puddle of anxiety for the first few weeks at a boarding school. But I wouldn't regret it. It would teach me how to deal with my feelings. Prepare me for college dorms - and for life.</p>

<p>Specifically, I am planning on applying for Phillips Academy @ Andover, Exeter, Deerfield, and Choate Rosemary Hall. I do acknowledge that due to the low acceptance rate and high volume of applications, I may not even get in. I feel that it's an experience worth taking. I'm currently in 8th, and going into 9th next year. I would be applying to these schools for 10th grade.</p>

<p>My life goal, is to be a musician in a metal band, and a CEO of a tech start-up. I would like to attend an Ivy League, such as Brown University. I feel that the public education system would not properly prepare me for such tasks. In conclusion, how would I explain this to my parents?</p>

<p>My parents tend to be a bit, over protective, but they also want the best for me. I'm sure they would try their best to fulfill my request. Any tips would be appreciated.</p>

<p>Thank you! :)</p>

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<p>Hey pimental,</p>

<p>I applied to boarding schools this year and I applied to all the schools you are aiming for + St. Paul’s. I started way later than most people, August of 2010 and I was late. However, I wanted to go to boarding school and it was all based upon my own decision. Most activities that I am involved in right now was started because my parents wanted me to. However, boarding school was the one thing that I decided to pursue on my own. The results weren’t that great, but I was satisfied. I got into my top choice school, Deerfield and I think you should apply. You have much more time than I did, and I’m sure you will be able to spend that time wisely if you are passionate about it. Tell your parents that this is all for the greater good. Sure you will be away for some time, but think about how much more knowledge you will gain. I hope to see you soon at Deerfield!</p>

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<p>Boarding school is definitely a great opportunity! Maybe have your parents talk to other parents who have kids at boarding school? That worked for my mom.</p>

<p>I would say to take it step by step. First, do your best for the application process (it will be an experience you’ll never forget =P). Don’t worry so much about actually leaving, focus on the schools and learn more about the schools, focus on getting in to the schools. Then once you get your acceptance letters, have a good talk with your parents, and decide where you want to go. If your parents are still reluctant to let you go… then tell them that this is YOUR future, and you want to have the opportunity of going to boarding school.</p>

<p>Of course, only do that if you are SURE you want to go to boarding school. If you’re not sure, then think more about it… you don’t want to waste all that time/effort/money on the applications then not go at all! But I think boarding school would be a very good option for you. Don’t be afraid of leaving home. I think most boarding school applicants are kids who have a lot of support from parents - otherwise, how did they become so successful? There will be many students who are in the same position as you, you’ll all learn to become independent together =)</p>

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<p>I go to boarding school and think it was one of the best decisions I made. My parents were fairly into it from the start, enough to let me go. It’s hard for a parent to let you apply then change their mind, but i’d start with asking your parents to allow you to apply. That’s the first step. Then see what your options are come next year. </p>

<p>Explain to your parents how much you really want to go and challenge yourself. What an excellent opportunity it will be. Let them get involved in the process of choosing schools, then they’ll feel they’re a part in the decision (which they are). It is a big change and if you’re already on the dependent side it’s going to be even harder. I’ve always been independent, so for me it was pretty natural. Others not so much. Everyone does adjust though, to some extent. </p>

<p>I highly suggest keeping an open mind to other schools. I know the ones like Exeter are fabulous, but so are less spoken about schools. Some I’d suggest are: Blair, Northfield Mount Hermon, Mercersburg, Loomis Chaffee… Check out boardingschoolreview.com for more. Good luck!</p>

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<p>Thanks for the great advice! </p>

<p>I’ll be talking to my parents when I get the opportunity and they’re not in a bad mood. Anyway, I’ll ask sometime this week and if any question arises, I’ll edit this current post (or reply) on this thread. </p>

<p>:)</p>

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<p>When I have brought up the subject of boarding school, I always wait untill the right “moment” comes. Usually I speak to a parent by themselves, it works well if you are on an errand with the parent (something casual and not too busy). I start with a general topic and will then get more specific. For example:</p>

<p>Me: “Hey I got a 100 on my science test, it was easy”</p>

<p>Dad: “That’s nice”</p>

<p>Me: “Yah, I just wish school was harder… I wonder how it’s going to be in high school”</p>

<p>Dad: “It depends on what you make of it”</p>

<p>Me: “But most of the people their won’t even care about school. That would be so cool if I could just have a conversation with a class mate where we go in depth on what we learned”</p>

<p>Dad: “(MY NAME HERE), I know what your trying to get me to talk about. But you know we can’t afford it.”</p>

<p>Me: “There is a scholarship I can get in 7th grade, or we qualify for FA”</p>

<p>Dad: "(blah blah blah, something negative about boarding school, blah blah blah)</p>

<p>The above was a failed attempt, but another option is to focus on a specific topic right out of the blue. I find that it surprises my parents and has them asking questions… until they realize what I’m talking about:</p>

<p>Me: “Hey mom. I’m going to apply for a scholarship in 7th grade.”</p>

<p>Mom: “What would you need a scholarship for?”</p>

<p>Me: “High School”</p>

<p>Mom: “What for High School?”</p>

<p>Me: “Private School”</p>

<p>Mom: “(MY NAME HERE), I don’t know if that option is possible. Whatever we give you, there has to be a way that we can provide it for your brother. What private school, most of them are too far or suck?”</p>

<p>Me: “Oh, it’s not around here…”</p>

<p>Mom: “Well then how am I SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU TO SCHO… no. I don’t want to talk about this right now, I am not having my daughter go leave the house at 14.”</p>

<p>Yah… so those are my two strategies. Many times, they work. Use the general idea and then focus in. Or say a detailed statement, go back to a mid-general idea, and then start focusing in. Goood LUCK!</p>

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<p>Your parents brought up the subject of boarding school, but do you think the cost would be prohibitive for your family, even if you were to receive some financial aid? Why don’t you broach the subject by first asking your parents if you can apply to some of the boarding school summer programs, and ask if they can afford it. Several schools have excellent writing programs. A gifted student like you would love a place like Choate Summer School. There is still time, but deadlines are soon for some of the schools.</p>

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<p>You can also suggest that, whether you get in or not this would be excellent practice for college admissions. That’s how it started for me, then they visited the schools and fell in love with them.</p>

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<p>Start it off as a hypothetical situation. Say you want to apply, JUST to see if you can get in. You aren’t committing to anything; but who couldn’t use the extra practice with interviews and writing applications? My parents did not take me seriously at all when I approached them about boarding school, but just to ‘humor’ me my mom said she’d let me apply.</p>

<p>I called every single school I wanted to apply at, did all my applications myself, as well as scheduled the tours and interviews myself; not an easy task considering I had to miss school and fly to do the interviews, meaning I had a very limited time frame to schedule for.</p>

<p>Take the initiative and do all these things. If your parents see how much hard work you’re putting in than they probably will at least let you apply, which is all you need at this point.</p>

<p>If you can convince your parents this far, and convince one or both to go on the tours with you, than I think they’ll change their mind. My mom is a firm believer in public school education and thought it all would be a waste of money, but after the tours she could not believe how wonderful these boarding schools are and how many opportunities there are. </p>

<p>As for financial aid, mine also were worried about that. They basically told me from october up until march 10th decisions that we could not afford it. Be more concerned with actually getting into a school. A school isn’t going to accept a student that they don’t think will be able to afford the school, they’ll offer sufficient financial aide. BELIEVE me when I say the aide is MORE than efficient, my family makes over 100,000 and yet the boarding school is going to cost less than the private day school in my area would cost. </p>

<p>Be persisitent and don’t give up, all of the work is worth it. Good luck!</p>

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<p>A wise exeter alumni once told me, the perfect boarding school applicant is one that applies by themselves, gets in with full FA and then tells their parents they’re going to boarding school.</p>

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<p>I agree with what ohxwowxlovely said. Go with the hypothetical if that’s your best shot. I myself also did the entire application process myself, two years in a row. Its a lot of work, but it’s possible and will VERY MUCH help you for college admission in years to come. I scheduled my own interviews, most were phone and skype and local (with representatives) because I live a couple thousand miles away from all these schools. I couldn’t even go to revisit days. But my parents were finally convinced when they saw the grants. That’s the best thing that can happen to convince them, in my opinion. That was when they finally saw it was posible and they couldn’t deny me that because their only argument was that we couldn’t afford it…so when we finally could…there was nothing left.</p>

<p>Again, good luck :)</p>

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<p>ohxwowxlovelym thank you very much for your advice. I’ll be going with the hypothetical as I see it is my best shot :)</p>