My RA is hardly around due to a fall sport and just thinks roomate is introverted, she doesnt see how she doesnt leave bed. She has seen my roommate talking to one of other Japanese girls but that happens rarely. If my RA needs something, she goes to me because my roommate did not give her any valid contact information. I tried to explain to her (roommate) about my health over the air conditioner when it was humid in the room. The girl has kept the heat on when its 80f outside. The issue is shes refusing to buy any warm clothes due to the fact she is from Japan and they dont really get snow. Screens and any other room dividers are not allowed at my school. Im hardly here due to her weird behavior, i dont want to be around her. I have spoken up and she just ignores me, its mainly to her being ignorant yet its also language barrier.
^Japan gets a ton of snow on the northern part. They already have snow.
Can you get a humidifier for your room for your sinuses?
Go to the Res Life Building and tell them that you first talked to your roommate, then your RA, but still the roommate has the room at 80 degrees and you are suffering.
I just emailed res life due to her constantly brushing her teeth in our room. This is so unhealthy and gross i can hardly stand it. I doubt they will do anything about it but i need a paper trail.
She sounds awful! I remember someone I knew who was in a situation similar to this and housing finally gave one of the students an “emergency single”. They had a few open slots around campus that they gave up when things were this bad. It’s all awful but the sleeping on a different time schedule and heat are unacceptable. Good luck. This reminds me a little of the roommate situation in the movie “Pitch Perfect”. (Not that that matters…)
@dailydog1 This situation sounds horrible. I can’t imagine how difficult this must be. Hang in there the semester is almost over. I would really have RA or Res life step in with the heat. Your roommate isn’t being reasonable or considerate in any sense. You pay for your room just as she does and you are entitled to some basic comforts.
Res life met with me this morning and wants to have mediation between her and i next week after break. I honestly dont want to take time out of my day to speak to this girl over two weeks until shes gone forever.
I caught her literally sitting in bed brushing her teeth while the room smelled like toothpaste. becuase i caught her she ran into the bathroom to spit. I know because i caught her before in darkness (3am) doing this that its normally in the garbage can. Res life told me that i should be fine because she is doing this on her side and im not near it. In September due to germs i was so sick i had to get 2 different antibiodics in three weeks. Most likely due to her being sick the same time and refusing to go to the doctor.
Res life kept reminding me this morning that its fine that roommates are not friends but this is how their process is with mediation. On sleeping they told me its probably because i sneak in late she feels that she can stay up working and i wont say anything. They are taking her side even due to the fact shes an international student. It is also normal for them not to have an american number as different apps keeps them in contact.
She did go to our football game last week, my friend and i caught her leaving with another international student from Germany. I laugh at how she now will go in the rain and cold and before would refuse when its warm outside. She clearly did not want to hang out with me ever. She clearly never liked me and ive had to live with an ignorant person.
personally i think this is all crap and i just want to graduate. My capstone is due next week along with a lot of other work. Personally she is not worth it to push any further. Im hardly sleeping due to stress and just want this semester to be over.
i regret not getting a room change earlier in the semester. My mom talked me out of it cause she didnt know what they would give me next as a roommate. I am forced to live on campus due to distance from college to home an hour and my schedule down here.
FINAL UPDATE: if you did not read my other post about update. I forgot to update this one earlier how my bad situation ended.
She moved out the day of my last final. As I was leaving to go to it, I watched her using a lint roller to clean the carpet I brought for the room. I honestly did not care if she cleaned it or not, I have a small vacuum on campus and since she would not speak to me, refused to use it. She never said goodbye or anything, she packed her stuff up and left. Due to her behavior, i am not shocked by this, yet it sorta hurt that we could not make amends even at the end.
For spring, I got the same room as a single which I am comfortably happy with. Yet due to her behavior, I used a lot of clorox and lysol cleaning everything on her side.
Besides depression, I have no clue what was going on with that girl. After fall break, was when it really got bad with her and if i knew before what was going to happen i would have switched rooms. She slammed the doors so often to our room, i had to take a screw driver to fix it. The door knob screws were about to fall out due to slamming the doors too much. She would also listen in on my conversations with my parents and try to make loud noises so I would have to leave the room to talk to my family. Yet the next time, she would be talking to her parents in rapid Japanese very loudly at 1am when i was getting ready for bed/ trying to fall asleep. If i tried to say anything she ignored me.
Friends that knew the other Japanese internationals told me that roommie would run her mouth about me to them. She hated the fact i was reporting her for stuff. This was only twice, once as a concern about her behavior in early november the other other the toothbrush about three week later.
There is also a chance that she misunderstood a conversation I had with my mom about a cousin of mine and thought it about her. I do not know what she could understand and comprerhend. Yet they told my friends that her issue was mainly she did not talk to anyone due to the language barrier. And since she did not speak to anyone, she could not improve her language skills. She never had the chance to fix any of this. And she apparently denied any issues she had with Res life and the international coordinator. It was also brought to my attention after wards that Asian cultures do not support mental health and she was probably put off by that. Yet all of her issues seemed to be that, she was horribly depressed and miserable.
I cannot fault myself, I tried to befriend her and it did not work out. Even if roommates cannot be friends, I thought at least be friendly. She never talked about herself at all, so I literally had nothing to speak to her about. If you talked about school, she could not even say what her homework was due to language barrier. I suffered a lot living with her, and was in a hard situation. Her behavior got really weird at the end, and a lot of people could not have dealt with it. I barely did because i knew there was a good chance i would get this room as a single.
As of now, i am beyond it and mainly laugh at her crazy behavior. All that is left of her is my memories as she never added me on any social media and i do not wish to seek hers out.
Its a horrible college story, but how should roommates do if they are stuck living with an horribly depressed person? There was no getting away from her behavior.
I am sure this is a horrible story, but I also see:
You attempted to be friends with your roommate. Reached out to an international student.
You realized that this was not a good situation for you.
You took steps to fix it.
You alerted people that she needed more support.
You fixed the situation (although it took a long time) and now have a single.