<p>I think the problem is that many people focus on being ‘practical’, on the kind of jobs that bring a steady income (or more), their idea of successful is seeing the person in the big house with the fancy car and so forth, and forget about passion. I obviously understand why, especially with music that has such a tough path, why there is concern, but what bothers me is the idea that following a passion or a dream is wrong because it doesn’t bring in the big bucks or the like. Thoreau once wrote that most men lead lives of quiet desperation, and he was right then and even more so today. People see the outward trappings of success but don’t bother to think about the other side, the cost of it. They see the great income,etc, of being an investment banker but don’t see (or want to see), the burn out rate, the drug use, and the toll it takes on the family member. People also think that the money will make up for the boredom or dissatisfaction of doing something they don’t want to do and that is a complete falsehood (money is never a positive, at best it is a neural, when it comes to jobs, no amount of money can make a job you hate one you love)</p>
<p>The other thing they miss is the kind of rigor that musical training gives you, the equate studying music with being some sort of untalented type of rock star or pop star. They don’t see the discipline, they don’t see the incredible amount of learning it takes, in things like music theory and ear training, and most of them have never met working musicians who have gone through formal training, many of whom do a lot more learning then most so called educated people do. (I work in the financial industry on the tech side, but also have dealt a lot with traders and investment bankers, and want to know something? I have met a lot of music students and working professionals, and most of them have intellectual curiousity and a wide range of knowledge; meanwhile, I meet a lot of kids coming out with degrees in business (including from the top business schools), or finance or accounting or whatnot, and frankly they not only know very little about anything but ‘business’, they don’t care to). People see music training as insular, kind of like being a musician cuts you off from anything ‘practical’. </p>
<p>And Soprano is right, people sit and complain and moan about their jobs, about working for corporate America, in ‘boring office jobs’ which is how most people describe their jobs (a recent poll said only 45% of Americans are happy or fulfilled by their jobs, a new low), but then hold that up as an ideal position…while they themselves are bored out of their minds with their jobs, it is a fundamental contradiction, and mostly it is because the view is that suffering and making a lot of money is better then doing what you have a passion for that can be financially tricky…</p>
<p>The other problem is the view that somehow music cuts you off from other possible fields, they have this idea that college is a trade school, where you have to learn something ‘practical’ to get a job out there. They ignore the fact, of course,that many people end up working in fields they didn’t train for, engineers end up as non technical management, mathematicians end up as CPA’s, someone who majored in Ancient Greek can end up a systems programmer, happens all the time. One of the things that people forget, like your mom, is that college in theory is supposed to be about learning to learn, it isn’t supposed to be like a vocational training school. In music, you have to learn a lot, with a discipline I feel very few ‘academic’ fields can match in terms of requirements. </p>
<p>Maybe you should show her what it means to train as a musician, the work, the ear training and theory, and so forth, or better yet, introduce her to music students, I suspect she will be surprised by how well spoken many of them are. Quite frankly, people hear music and they think of nitwits like Brittany Spears or the latest batch of pop tarts and pretty boys they see in entertainment programs, and don’t see the real geniuses, the ones who, for example produce or engineer the music (many of whom trained in college music programs), or how bright many musicians are. I am amazed when I talk to the kids my son is with, who for the most part aren’t even in college, or early college, and what they know and the way they talk, they are not average for the most part, and in getting to know both college level and professional musicians more and more, they easily are equal to the people I work with, who are a group of well trained and really bright people. </p>
<p>In the end, though, I think it is just going to be a matter of time with your mom. A lot of that is probably that she loves you and wants you to have a good life, and maybe not repeat her mistakes (from the post, it sounds like she is not happy with what she does),and sees only the negatives of music without realizing the positive. All you can do is go ahead and find your passion, and eventually I suspect she will see the difference in the way you are as a person. And if she still thinks a practical education is the only way to go, remind her that Bernie Madoff and Ken Lay had ‘practical’ educations, and look what they did…:).</p>
It’s tough, but you seem to be handling it really well. I admire you for that. I thought I’d tell you that something that helps me with the situation is having teachers and friends who give me a ton of support and who are proud of me. I hope you have people like that. I don’t know what I’d do with out them. </p>