At many of the “top” schools that attract a lot of CC attention, Greek life is understated (or non-existent). Exceptions include Duke, Dartmouth, Washington & Lee. At many other colleges, you can either take it or leave it. It’s there if you want it, but doesn’t dominate social activity if you don’t. So you don’t really need to decide in advance whether you want it or not (as long as you avoid colleges that don’t have it at all, which usually is indicated in the Common Data Set or US News entry).
@homerdog - With some kids it’s easy to tell one way or the other if they will want to go Greek. Your boy sounds like he falls into the larger “could go either way” category. Maybe the right thing to do is look for colleges that are right in other ways. The absence or presence of Greek life on a particular campus can work its way into his selection criteria later.
I waited to ask DS about fraternities during the summer after his junior year when he has a first cut list of colleges and we were brainstorming criteria to find additional schools to consider.
Your child will need to feel that out. (S)he can ask questions of individual students at colleges that have Greek life to see if people have friends both in and out of the organizations, how it feels at that college not to participate, how crazy rush is, etc.
As we are exploring colleges, we are discovering that Greek life is different at different places. At some schools it does not seem to dominate the culture.