Just curious how the Greek system plays into the college search…and how will we even know if it’s something our kids will want or not want? I was in a sorority and my husband was in a fraternity so we can explain our experiences to them, but it’s different at each school. We have quite a few neighbors sending their oldest kids away to college this fall and one of the biggest concerns is rush - the drinking, the hazing, the possible let down of being not chosen. Who wants to start college like that?
Are schools with a large Greek contingent better for super social kids? I’d love to hear how students use their impressions of Greek life on campus to make decisions on where to matriculate.
Neither one of my kids wanted Greek life, so for us there was nothing to determine. We never even thought about it with our older one. With my younger one, she crossed off schools that she initially loved once she learned about the large Greek presence. She felt (right or wrong- it’s her feeling) that sorority life meant everybody would be the same and there would be little room for individuality. She also hates “cliques” and views sororities as “cliquey” (again, just how she feels and does not make her right). She is also not into parties and thought (right or wrong who knows) that sorority life meant parties. On a positive note she recognizes that it would have given her a friend group right away. She also recognizes the good community service work that these kids do.
Not being chosen is real - I have seen it - and is no way to start the year. This may happen more at some schools than at others.
If the student may be interested in joining a fraternity or sorority, consideration of whether such characteristics are typical at a given school can matter in school selection.
I posted this in another thread. My D is unsure about Greek too - but she is somewhat of a partier. (I know she can party anywhere) So I think she wants the option to be available.
We think that not having Greek housing and having delayed Rush would help the Greeks be more inclusive on campus…so we are noting places that have these. However this is just a gut feeling I have no experience on whether this is a true statement.
My kids are more inclusionary in nature and very independent in their thinking. Greek life was a turnoff for that reason. I can’t imagine either one choosing to participate in a rush process. They don’t object to parties, but schools without greek still have plenty of that to offer. Community service opportunities abound away from greek life as well.
It was certainly a surprise for my parents when they found out I was rushing a non traditional sorority since I’m essentially a tomboy who shudders at the thought of going through traditional rush and living in a house with 100+ other women. I joined my chapter because the rush events were fairly informal, I wanted to party, and the opportunity to make stronger friendships was incredibly appealing to me.
I’m a second semester senior now, and have zero regrets about joining my chapter. Had I gone through formal rush and joined a panhellenic organization which has date parties, expectations regarding dress, etc I most likely would feel differently.
I think the experience varies so much by school. I know a student at one school with a huge Greek participation rate who says that students who choose not to join feel left out…and another student at a school that also has a high rate who says that it means there is room for everyone who wants to join and is socially inclusive for students who opt not to join. If you post on the college-specific forums, you can probably get some good answers to this question.
First of all, I wouldn’t recommend that any 1st semester freshman participate in rush. What’s the hurry? I look at frats and sororities as a club, a group, whatever you want to call it. I am amazed when kids are determined to not be in the Greek system, but don’t know anything about it. They are not ALL party boys and girls. Some are, for sure, but this is college. It’s time to open up your mind and experience life, not make a judgement before you even move into your dorm.
@twocollegekids, one reason to participate in fall formal recruitment, at colleges that have it, is that not all sororities will take part in spring recruitment. At some colleges, the only sororities that recruit during second semester are those that did not make quota in fall formal recruitment. A student who wants to explore all of her sorority options wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity in the fall thinking that it will be the same in the spring.
Not only is Greek Life different at each school, but the way they go about it is different as well.
My D focused on and attended a LAC and pretty much all of the LACs we visited had sophomore year recruitment. We all felt that sophomore recruitment was preferable as students had a chance to solidify friendships freshman year before deciding if they wanted to pledge, had time to get a good sense of each sorority/frat,etc. My D surprised us and joined a (low-key) sorority and it did add to her college life. There was no hazing at her sorority (just silly things like having them sort sprinkles by color and then they had an ice cream party). Also she maintained her friendships with people who did go Greek. My D is in grad school now and is living with two sorority sisters who are attending different programs at the same school. All in all it was a plus for her.
Bottom line is I think it is hard to predict. It is a matter of if there is a sorority/frat on campus that would be a good match for you child.
@stlarenas yes- @happy1 said “pretty much” of the LACs they visited had sophomore recruitment – and that is just not the norm. Most private, non-public, non-SEC schools participate in deferred recruitment (spring Freshmen year)
@higheredmom Im addition to Lafayette and Bucknell, I believe that sophomore rush also exists at Dickinson (PA) and Union (NY) and I think that Franklin and Marshall may have had spring semester rush – you should double check because our visits were a few years ago (things may have changed and/or my memory might be a bit hazy). Some other schools we visited didn’t have Greek Life.
Apologies my comment that pretty much all LACs have sophomore rush was incorrect – all I can say is that sophomore rush certainly appeared to be the norm in the group of LACs with Greek Life that we visited with my D. But it was a limited sample to be sure.
My kids didn’t take Greek life into consideration when searching for college. They figured they would just go with what was available at the school for the kind of social life they wanted. My older kid was very social, she would have socialized and done the same thing with or without Greek life. Another word, she would have had similar friends and partied. Greek life was just a mean for her to meet people. My younger kid was less social, even though she was in the same sorority as her older sister, she had different circle of friends.
@stlarenas Please see comment #13 (meant to tag you in it). I should not have made such a blanket statement but I just wanted to share my D’s experience as well as what we saw as a trend during our college visits.
The point of my first comment (#9 above) was to mention to the OP that Greek Life is handled differently at different schools and that when the school has rush might be a factor to consider when looking at Greek Life at different colleges. I never meant to imply that all LACs have sophomore rush.
My son is actually crossing schools off his list if they don’t have a Greek system, and it’s so odd to his dad and I because he is a video game nerd, not a partier at all, and not a jock. I’m just warning him about costs and the time suck and he can rush and see if he likes it or not.
@homerdog it depends on your kid. What do they do currently?
Have they joined any social organizations through your church or temple? Sleep away summer camps? Do they play organized sports? Do they like to get together in large groups? Do they join clubs at school?
@ClarinetDad16 That’s hard to say. Our S19 is on the XC team and just hangs with them. He’s joined other groups (yearbook, peer leadership, the junior board of our local community house) so he isn’t afraid to join a group. He will say, though, that yearbook for instance is very cliquey and he doesn’t fit socially with those kids even though he likes them. (They are the “popular” group. He really wouldn’t be invited to their stuff after school.)
He goes to a very large public high school. He’s actually running XC and track because he likes the kids. Doesn’t even love running. Sharing practice and meets with these kids bonds them. We certainly think he will like college more if he finds his “people”. He’s so much happier now that he has a group of friends.
I just don’t know if that would mean he would like a fraternity. I feel like he would hate rush with people judging him. I think he would find that ridiculous.