How to get good letters of recommendation?

Applying to College
1

Speaking from a junior’s point of view, I don’t feel like I have any teachers who can give me a great recommendation, besides my business teacher/cub adviser who I literally spend every day with even though I’m not currently in one of her classes. However, that would probably be a supplementary recommendation as business isn’t technically a core course. Additionally, my guidance counselor knows me well and really likes me, but their recommendation is separate, I believe.

Consequently, I’m not sure which teachers to ask for my two college recommendations. In many classes, I’ve been a top student, but not the strongest or remarkable, so obviously I’m just one of the many “bright” kids…This seems to be problematic. Additionally, I’m a quiet student for the most part, and I honestly just have trouble building up a rapport with most teachers. I mean, apart from school, what is there to talk about?

However, a friend of mine who is at an Ivy said that letters of recommendation aren’t a big deal and that I really shouldn’t worry about them. Her reasoning is that since most teachers want their students to do well, even if the student isn’t actually one of the best students they’ve ever taught, they are kind of obligated to write great letters of recommendation and check off the highest box in each category (one of the best students I’ve ever taught). Additionally, if a student gets accepted into a great school, the teacher has the satisfaction of saying “Oh, so-and-so was my student, and they got into _____!” Is there some truth to this?

2

Depends on the school, some take reccomendations more seriously than others.
I would say get one from your business teacher (seems to know you well and lime you) and for the other one, pick someone who you feel will write good things about you.
Ask them “Would you be willing to write a POSITIVE letter of recommendation?”
From their response you will get a feel and decide if you should pick someone else or not.

3

I disagree, strongly, with your friend. It’s disheartening to see that she sees her teachers, and my profession, as being so incredibly self serving.

I write the best truthful letter I can for a kid. But it’s got to be truthful. There’s too much at stake-- my own reputation as a professional, my school’s reputation, the chances of next year’s applicants from my school and my own sense of morals-- for me to lie. So, no, I absolutely do NOT check off the highest box unless it’s the truth.

And, no, I don’t take any credit when my kids do well. It’s their achievement, not mine. I’m just a tiny little part of letting the colleges know exactly what they’re getting.

I’ve written plenty of strong letters for quiet kids. I teach math-- discussion isn’t a huge part of the class. Sure, kids answer questions, but that’s not how I get to know them.

And there have been one or two kids over the years whose request was met with “My letter is going to be truthful. I’ll phrase it as best I can, but I can’t lie. Are you sure you still want me to write your letter? Why don’t you think about it and get back to me.”

I have a kid, Eric, who stayed for a makeup test one afternoon last week. After he finished, he stayed a bit and we chatted a bit. I got to know him a whole lot better in those 15 minutes. If I had to, I could now write a much stronger letter than I could have this time last week-- though I teach Seniors and those letters were done last spring.

Here’s the key: if you want a letter that sounds like your teachers know you, then you’ve got to invest a little time in letting them get to know you. It’s as simple as that.

I had a student many years ago who was terrible at Precalc. She stayed for extra help all the time, usually in her soccer uniform. Though she was incredibly quiet in class, I really got to know her well in extra help. Outside of class, she had a great sense of humor and a huge connection to her family. And I’ve always been so grateful for those extra help sessions when I got to know her. A few weeks after graduation, she and her mom were on TWA flight 800, which exploded over eastern Long Island, leaving no survivors. It would have been so much harder to lose a young life, knowing that we had basically been strangers.

So, short answer: You’re a Junior and it’s December. Spend some time after school getting to know your teachers. Push your comfort zone and get to know your teachers a bit, and let them get to know you. If you want strong letters of recommendation, they’ve got to be from teachers who know you. If that doesn’t happen in class, then it’s got to happen outside of class.

4

I like @bjkmom’s advice. Get to know a few teachers.

If there is a subject you like, why not ask the teacher for his/her thoughts on what college options in that subject look like? It’ll start a conversation and maybe getting to know each other in an authentic way.

5

It can start as simply as “Hey, Mr. K… are you going to the game/ play/ whatever this weekend? I’m participating and would love to see you cheer us on.”