Hello all, I’m currently a junior and unfortunately my younger brother was diagnosed with a cancer relapse about a month ago (first time was 4 years ago). Naturally this has negatively affected my personal and academic life, and my grades have declined and I wouldn’t be surprised if my test scores don’t come out as high as I’d like because I didn’t prepare for them as much after the diagnosis.
Basically I wanted to ask you all what the best way of dealing with this is from an admissions standpoint. Originally I was planning on writing an essay about my brother’s first experience with cancer and how that got me into cancer advocacy (which is a huge part of my life), but I don’t know if I should even attempt to incorporate the relapse at all? Do I need to personally give explanations for why my grades went down or why my AP tests, SAT, and subject tests were probably a little lower than I wanted or do I just let the counselor handle that?
And as bad as it sounds, is there any way I can try to use my own experience having a brother going through cancer as a way to positively help me in college admissions? (My family and I have actually had this conversation, and we thought that at the very least we should try to make the best of what life is throwing at us but we weren’t sure what to actually do with it.)
A letter of explanation by your GC would seem the best way to address this. How you are viewed in the admissions process is influenced by many considerations, with these life circumstances just being one of those.
There are many people who write essays about deeply moving life experiences and they certainly can influence their admission possibilities. The key in my opinion is that they come from a deeply sincere place.
I am having a little difficulty putting your inquiry in to perspective. Your question may have been better posed in the college admissions forum and asked in a more general nature.
I hope your brother is doing okay and that his prognosis is solidly good!
I understand the sentiment in your last paragraph – but you’re walking a fine line. This can come across as crass and mercenary. Really I’d advise putting some distance btn your hunt for an essay topic and this for awhile. Being on constant “search mode” for feelings or thoughts to drop onto your future college essay will backfire.
Friggin heck – it’s only stupid college. **And don’t put it on yourself the pressure to deliver a “happy news” package for your grieving family in all this. **That’s not your role either.
@RandomRhino I am so sorry to hear about your brother and can’t imagine what you and your family are going through. I’m appalled at some of the comments on this post. It is completely understandable (not at all crass or opportunistic) to wonder about how your brother’s relapse might affect your academic performance and how best to address this fact in the admissions process. In my opinion, this forum should be ideal for floating these concerns anonymously. You are allowed to be concerned that your brother’s relapse may negatively affect your dreams of attending Harvard or any other school. I’m sure you are a wonderful and supportive brother; you mustn’t feel guilty about thinking about yourself and your own future. I think the lesson to be found in some of these previous posts is that there exists the risk of sounding opportunistic by bringing up the relapse in your essays. I agree with the post that recommended saying nothing about it, making no excuses, and let your GC address it in a letter.
@GMTplus7@GreatKid@cttwenty15 My apologies. I’m just used to posting my questions in here because this (and the Columbia forum) is where I’ve been lurking for the past year and posting questions about SATs and other college admissions stuff, so I’ll post in the college admissions or essays section instead.
@T26E4@Regurge01 Thank you for your understanding. When I was looking at essay writing advice in the past, they said it was better to wait until you have some distance from the topic before considering it for an essay, so I’ll probably let the relapse go and not bring it within my essays. However, cancer was always going to have a prominent role in my essay (even before the news of the relapse) because it really did shape why I want go to into medicine, why I care about health policy, why I volunteer at a hospital, why I started bone marrow donor advocacy, why I worked on cancer advocacy, and why some of the awards I received even happened at all. But I guess it’s better to just focus on that part of it—what I did after my brother first went through cancer—and just allow the guidance counselor to mention the relapse. I probably don’t want to let the relapse derail everything I had been thinking of writing before?
And just some general comments, my brother is doing well for now, while the prognosis doesn’t look great, it doesn’t look awful either. Yes there has been more pressure from my mom to get “good news” this December or next March, but I too wanted “good news” before the relapse. I’m really sorry to everyone who thought I sounded too opportunistic in wanting to know how to address my brother’s relapse in my application—if I had the choice to make this all go away, I would in a heartbeat. And if I could trade my own dreams for Harvard (or even Georgetown or Columbia) for the safety of my brother, I would. Please don’t get the wrong idea about me that I’m just trying to exploit a family tragedy to get into just a college. I’m sorry if that’s the way it came off.
As is often the case with forums there is not enough context to respond properly. I actually toned down my response from what how I was initially going to reply. I don’t research someone prior posts and perhaps I should prior to responding.
Your response was thoughtful and intelligent. I am sorry for this tragedy within your family! It has to be very challenging in so many ways. I would say if you feel a strong conviction to write an essay surrounding this experience than you should. The essay is your opportunity to demonstrate who you are and what makes you tick. It would seem like a powerful and beautiful essay could come from your thoughts about this experience for you.
Best Wishes!
@RandomRhino I just answered your pm without reading your second post above. Imo the details about what sparked your interest in cancer advocacy and in your interest in becoming a doctor are pertinent and potentially rich fodder for an essay. As a Harvard prefrosh (not that I’m any kind of expert) i’d be happy to look at a draft when the time comes.
Does it make sense for you to take some time off? Forget the essay, let’s talk abut how you feel and are affected by this. My freshman year roommate lost her father early in our first year. She went home to be with her mother and grieve.
@Regurge01 Thank you so much! Possibly over the summer when I get around to working on it, I’ll keep you in mind as someone who would be willing to give suggestions on it.
@Lizardly At least for now, I don’t think it’d be best for me to take any time off. I’ve taken about a day off every week or so just for my own emotional health, but I think the normalcy of going to school seems to help me cope. That and my debate coach has always had her door open for me and my school counselor is a trained therapist, so the resources at my school have been great for a time like this.
