How to handle parental pressures?

<p>Yes, I was accepted to Fordham!! Very excited about that one.</p>

<p>And I've actually thought about doing the whole try for a big-name school for grad, rather than undergrad. It just makes more sense, and saves money.</p>

<p>Congratulations!</p>

<p>Penn State's a good place! Congrats! </p>

<p>It sounds like your parents are after the brand recognition and pedigree that comes with ivy league names. You might want to consider telling your parents not to worry about the name so much.</p>

<p>The best are the best everywhere, but the ivies tend to have a higher proportion of the best (15% of ivy league undergraduates might have earned the Award for Extraordinary Academic Greatness at some point in their career, but maybe only 5% of the undergrads at a lower-ranked school could say the same thing. Doesn't really make a difference if you're part of that 5%, does it?)</p>

<p>This might be even more important if you, say, get into Harvard and find out that they don't want to let loose with any funding, while another school a few notches down has accepted you and is offering you lots of money.</p>

<p>Thanks again for the advice guys. But unfortunately, I think I need more?</p>

<p>I went ahead and applied to H+P only, just to get my parents off my back. However, I didn't realize Princeton required interviews? I just got an email from a Princeton rep asking to make an appointment. Really, an interview with them is the last thing I want to do right now; just thinking about it makes my stomach crawl. I could never muster enough enthusiasm to make it look as if I really wanted/could get into that school, and it would most likely just be a huge embarrassment for me, and a ginormous waste of time for him. Am I handling this correctly, I mean, how should I respond to this email? Do I just go ahead and do the interview? I'm very upset that I've been put in this position.</p>

<p>Go to interview. Tell the guy the truth (a novel theory) or at least part of it. Tell him you plan on going to xyz school, really working and then considering transfering or grad school. let him/her talk and you listen. He/she will feel much more comfortable that you at least are realistic.</p>

<p>all the IVY's do interviews. It is usually an alumni rep in your area. My D had an interview and the only info the interviewer gets is your name and number.D had to bring something about herself. She did bring her academic resume. They are just looking to see if you are a fit. It really isn't that bad.</p>

<p>There might be some positive aspects to having an interview.</p>

<p>You can tell the interviewer that Princeton seems like a great place for some people (do a little research beforehand, just a little) but you are doubtful that it will be good for you. You decided to apply, though, because your parents really wanted you to apply. </p>

<p>You can be more or less explicit about that. </p>

<p>You can then ask the interviewer to explain the virtues of Princeton.</p>

<p>If you remain unpersuaded, the interviewer will get the message and convey your feelings to the AdCom. </p>

<p>Believe me, you are not the only person who applied to H & P because their parents insisted. The interviewer will understand.</p>

<p>Once that is out of the way, you might actually enjoy meeting the interviewer and having a chance to speak to an adult about yourself and whatever else comes up. It could be a good experience for you!</p>

<p>(crossposted with kayf)</p>

<p>Sugarpop,
Do the interview. Don't try to expand on the virtues of the school and your 'fit'. Don't focus on your embarrassment. Just go armed with enthusiasm for your interests: your ECs, the last book you read which excited you, something from current events which speaks to your core. Treat this as an opportunity to meet and converse with someone interesting.</p>

<p>If it were me, I'd go to the interview and go with a good attitude. There's no reason to tell the interviewer you're not interested in Princeton. I see no point in burning a bridge, and Princeton admissions personnel or alumni will not be happy about wasting their time interviewing someone who makes it apparent there's no interest there. Find out about the school (including its grad programs), put your best foot forward and consider it good interviewing experience for your future.</p>

<p>Hey, sugarpop!</p>

<p>Glad to see that you compromised with your parents and applied to a couple of places. Shows maturity on your part.</p>

<p>Do the interview. What, really, is the worst that can happen? Because you say you don't want to go to Princeton anway, what's it matter if it doesn't go well? This is great experience for an interview for something you really do want. And, hey, it might be really fun and maybe you'll decide Princeton is a great place for you after all. Good luck and let us know how you do. I bet it goes well because the stakes aren't that high for you.</p>

<p>mdoc- I definitely don't want to walk in and say, off-the-bat, something like, "I have no intentions of ever getting in/attending your school". That's rude and I would never do that. I'm just worried about the "Why do you feel we should accept you/Why do you want to attend/ What made you apply" type of questions. I would have no idea how to respond to those, save for outright lying. </p>

<p>For the record, I emailed the alum back and told him I'd schedule an interview. I was really beginning to feel presumptuous about the whole thing--an interview isn't going to affect my already microscopic chances. I'll look into their school a little more and find something about them that interests me, so that I'll have that to talk about. ADad and mominva, I'll definitely use a few of your suggestions. I really don't want this guy to feel as though he's wasting his time, so I will try to seem interested, even though what I want more than anything is to just cash in my acceptance fee to Fordham or PSU and be done with it...But I've only had a handful of actual interviews, so I could always use the experience. </p>

<p>Thanks a lot, as always. Sorry for pestering you guys for advice, but it really helps.</p>

<p>I don't think it hurts to be honest. If asked directly I'd say something like, "To be honest I thought my application was a very long shot, but my parents really wanted me to apply."</p>

<p>Hey, a quick update for those who were interested: I had the interview. It went pretty well, I mean, my interviewer was friendly and personable, and we were able to chat comfortably. It was a good experience, and I enjoyed it somewhat, though I'm mostly glad that it's over with. I was really stressing over it these last few days, but I'm glad I took everyone's advice and went through with it.</p>

<p>Great! Thanks for updating us.</p>

<p>Did it make the school seem more appealing? If not, at least you have the experience under your belt for when you interview at a school you really do like.</p>