How to Handle this?

<p>My D doesn't want to finish her auditions. She has been accepted to 3 places, 2 officially. The unofficial acceptance is her 1st choice. The prof has had e-mail correspondence with her explaining the program he is signing her up for and assuring her he won't change his mind and so forth, but that music dept at this school doesn't send out official letters until mid-March. She has a full tuition/fees academic merit scholarship at this school already. She completed 4 auditions and then refused to go to last weekend's at CCM and another the week before, canceled them and sent the profs there nice apologetic notes. Again this weekend coming up she doesn't want to go. I wonder how common this is. I worry since we don't have anything official from this school that perhaps it won't come through. I do understand her reluctance since we've had some harrowing road trips in whiteout conditions and she's crazy busy with all her various music groups and AP homework and just recovering from the application/visit process. She decided late to major in music and is actually most interested in double majoring- doing a performance concentration type BA with a non-music major like math, but anyway auditioned at a few places for BM while she decides what she really wants to do. The prof at the school she wants to attend says he would start her in the BM as first 2 years are the same in BM and BA and she could drop back later. This school has a BA that is over 70 credits of music. She has acceptances at a few schools where she could enter the BA in music once she is there, no audition required now. She isn't auditioning at the really top conservatories that get so much discussion here, not quite at that level. Not sure what to do. How likely is it that this unofficial acceptance could come to nothing? Should I insist she complete this last trip this weekend or let it go? Anyone else here have a kid like this?</p>

<p>Do not count on anything that is not an official acceptance. Hopefully her other two are at least “second choices”. Good luck.
Also–have her call this teacher and explain her predicament. See if she can get something on paper.</p>

<p>My S cancelled his remaining auditions. But he had an official acceptance in hand at his #1. I suppose it’s up to your D to decide. If she’s happy with her fall-backs should #1 somehow not come through - then go ahead and cancel. If her hearts not in it, why do it?</p>

<p>One of her official acceptances is great musically, and fine academically. Not sure about money there yet, likely to qualify for an OOS tuition scholarship that would bring cost down just barely to acceptable level, so overall it’s good as a back-up. She would be happy there.</p>

<p>Last year my daughter canceled her last audition, we had been to 8 and she had been accepted to her first choice and a couple of others. I was actually glad she decided not to go to the last audition. The cost of traveling to the auditions last year was huge, and it was exhausting, luckily last year was a mild winter though. </p>

<p>I know its hard to let go, but if her heart is not in it, her audition will not be what it could be anyway.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>Thanks everyone. I am totally out of my depth here with the music, steep learning curve. Not sure if there issort of an obligation to carry through and how profs feel when kids cancel auditions at places they haven’t visited,kind of like they didn’t really give the place a chance. Kids can’t know what the music dept/prof is really like. Don’t want to be rude, but traveling IS taking a toll.</p>

<p>we know of one student last year that was promised the sun, the moon and stars buy the prof and in the end got the waitlist.</p>

<p>If it were me I would suggest to my kid that the audition cycle is finished. Perhaps just meeting the other teachers may put an idea in place for grad school and additional contacts.</p>

<p>Good Luck</p>

<p>I guess it’s up to your daughter to decide.</p>

<p>It sounds like she must be tired and stressed by life at school right now, and has some good choices. And more audtions sure does add to the stress. She just has to understand that until the acceptance is on paper, there is always a little doubt.</p>

<p>Honestly, for some kids, having too many choices is overwhelming and the idea of looking at more is counterproductive, if they already have something in hand. In some ways, her attitude is really healthy. Too many kids pursue too many schools just to see where they can get in, without any intention of going.</p>

<p>So I would agree with her about not doing more, as long as she understands the risk, and also, as you said, she is writing some notes to the places where she is cancelling the audition.</p>

<p>I’m not so sure about writing the professor who had made promises and defer to others. Is it possible to ask admissions? Mid-March isn’t too far away!</p>

<p>Thanks, everyone. Yes, she is pretty tired. I see that many CC families go to so many auditions and always wonder what their kids are made of, that they manage so well. My D is not so tough, needs sleep. But she always signs up for all these extra groups. Like why would she do pit for the school musical in the middle of auditions and not even on her main instrument? I thought she should pull back a bit on at least a few of the extras this year, but she has too much fun with them. One of the auditions she cancelled I was fine with, since she had visited, had lesson and just didn’t ‘click’ with that prof. But these other 2, she hasn’t visited at all, doesn’t know if she would like them better than the places she’s been already. But yeah, too much merchandise shopper’s fatigue, I do get that. I just wanted to know if this ever happens to other kids, still not sure. Maybe not to many CC kids, seems to me they’re all superkids.</p>

<p>I had one child who (still) cannot make decisions. She auditioned for 12 schools (for MT), was accepted at 7 and didn’t make a decision until April 30. My other kid only wanted to audition at 2 schools (classical voice). I “made” him audition for a safety and send in a few prescreens. But once he got his acceptance at #1, he was done. He could see no point in auditioning for “what ifs” or just for fun. He wrote nice emails to the admissions and, in one case, to a professor who had expressed interest in him, declining his remaining auditions and received back a couple really nice responses (Congrats on making a decision. Hope we’ll see you for grad school auditions). </p>

<p>Plus, maybe like your D, my S does not thrive on busyness or competition. He’s very easy going and laid back. If something is not fun, he’s not going to do it. And traveling in winter with his mom was not his idea of fun!</p>

<p>Yours is not only student who feels that way. I believe my daughter just did her last audition–she does not want to do the last two. she got into the professor’s studio at her #1 school already last October, but has to wait for the official admissions letter. She’s done three auditions in person, and four with recordings. she’s had enough. Mentally, she has moved on to her upcoming solo performances and wants to concentrate on those.</p>

<p>A lot of students face this, they audition and get in someplace they would want to go, and cancel the rest of their auditions. I don’t think cancelling auditions will cause any harm in the student’s reputation, I doubt they will be remembered at all:). </p>

<p>In terms of the teacher that sent the e-mail saying she was de fact admitted, I would bet pretty good money she will be admitted. If I remember my business law classes correctly, such an ‘informal’ statement can be held to be a formal offer, if the person sending it represents formally the school. Since it sounds like this teacher is de facto the head of the department, having those e-mails could be construed as binding (caveat, I am not a lawyer)…the fact that she has gotten in on the academic side takes that out as a potential issue (since it could be the prof wanted her but the academic side rejected her, in which case, it wouldn’t matter what the prof said…). </p>

<p>That said, as long as she thought the other schools were decent, and if the #1 looks fairly likely, I would prob tell my S in the same situation to pass on the last one.</p>