Thanks, but no thanks... (post-decision etiquette)

<p>Thinking ahead to the next couple of months, kids will have auditioned at numerous schools, received a few rejections and hopefully, many acceptances. Then it’s decision time. </p>

<p>But here’s a question which I’m sure has been answered but I had trouble finding on CC: </p>

<p>What’s the etiquette towards communicating your decision to the schools you didn’t choose? I assume some sort of email, but how much detail do you go into? What do you say and to whom do you address the email? </p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>In the email to the school, a polite generic decline is sufficient. If your student had a lesson and/or correspondence with a teacher then a polite and detailed “thank you for your time and attention” is in order as well.(again–in addition to your departmental/school letter and direct to the teacher)</p>

<p>I second musica’s advice, and would only add that if the student is sure they’re not attending, it would be nice if they would let the school know earlier rather than later so that someone who does want to be there might be admitted off the wait list.</p>

<p>We are in the process of declining and cancelling audition invitations and appointments, as my daughter has been accepted into one of her top 3 schools. For the most part we’ve sent an e-mail to admissions thanking them for the audition opportunity, and telling them that we’ve accepted an offer from another college. In one case we’ve had to make a phone call. These are tough decisions for my D to make, but it will save me time, stress, travel and money, and hopefully open spots for others.</p>

<p>Yellowsub, congrats on your D’s acceptances and thank you for cancelling the audition invitations you still have. At an audition last week, I was waiting with a mother who had brought two girls. She told me that BOTH girls had already been accepted by their first choices and had “nice” scholarship offers. From what I understood, they were attending this audition because it was local, but neither student had any intention of taking a spot if it was offered. I smiled politely but later was appalled to think that they could take the offer of a spot away from my D. So, please, everyone–if you’ve already been successful and know for sure you are not going to accept and offer from a school, don’t add to the competition other students–and please don’t brag about it to their mothers!</p>

<p>Annie—At auditions take everything that moms or auditioners say with an enormous grain of salt. You did the right thing…just smile and nod.</p>

<p>^^I understand your concern. The whole process is so competitive, expensive, and exhausting. And canceling auditions and declining acceptances early-on is very considerate to others. Thank you, yellowsub, and congrats, again! And I agree with musica, annie. You did the right thing. :)</p>

<p>But I wanted to reassure others that, while it is helpful when others cancel & decline, it’s not usually a big game changer for ‘the competition’ when people audition without the full intention to attend. Music schools, just like colleges in general, recognize that they’ll get a certain yield. Out of every 10 vocalists accepted to Music School XYZ, let’s say, 3 might typically attend, year over year. Some schools will offer 10 admissions right away, expecting that an average of 3 will accept their offers, knowing full well that THIS year, 6 might end up attending! Other schools will extend only 3 offers for 3 spots, but they’ll keep records for their following 7 choices in case any of those 3 decline. The end result is generally the same.</p>

<p>If both of the twins earned spots at their local school but then declined those spots, the (let’s just say) 3 expected music admits for that school will still be the same 3 kids either way – even if the twins hadn’t auditioned. They’ll either be the next 2 on the list after the twins decline (if the school just sends out 3 invitations for 3 spots, lets say), OR, the twins will be just 2 of (let’s say) 10 who were notified of admission for those 3 spots. </p>

<p>Know what I mean? Though its thoughtful NOT to do what the twins did, the end result will likely be pretty much the same for attendance. </p>

<p>Schools don’t typically have a finite list – 3 offers of admission for 3 spots, with no backup plan for filling those spots. </p>

<p>I hope this is somewhat reassuring.</p>

<p>Thanks SimpleLife–they were not twins, just friends.</p>

<p>^Oh, I see. Same message, though. Chances are good that they didn’t alter your D’s admission chances. I hope you get all good news from here on out. I know it’s stressful!!</p>