<p>My two kids (twins) are home from State U following their freshman year - a good one. They even got out earlier than most of their friends. We have relocated to a suburb with two giant malls nearby and many stores/restaurants appear to be hiring for the summer. BUT we're having a terrible time getting them to pound the pavement with urgency to find jobs. True, they often have to apply online - and some of the applications are ridiculously complex - but even when they do, they don't understand you have to follow up by pounding on doors, more than once.
Instead, they go out with their friends to all hours and would sleep until 2 pm and then "chill" with more friends in the afternoon if we weren't always trying to get them up and moving. When I woke my daughter up at noon today she said "You're the most unpleasant person to be around of anyone I know. And you wonder why I'm angry with you all the time!" My son gets it somewhat better, but the time is passing.
Nor do they willingly do anything to help keep the house clean and orderly. they'll put 3 dishes of their own in the dishwasher and leave everything else for somebody to do.
Sorry for the rant, but does anyone have ideas about getting 18-year-olds to wake up and smell the coffee? Without having them hate, you if possible!</p>
<p>Usually, money is the primary motivation for most 18 year olds to work.</p>
<p>Oh, I feel your pain! The only thing that finally worked to motivate my kids to get jobs was to make them feel the financial pain. We’ve been very clear with my kids that during college they are responsible for paying for their own books and spending money (since we are giving them a debt free education). I don’t think my son really thought I meant it until this year when he went off to college for the first time and when he ran out of money (from his bank account and money he’d saved up over the years), that was it; we didn’t give him any more and he had to scramble and get a part time job. I finally had to step in and “loan” him some to finish the year, but I made it very clear he’s got to pay me back. There was lots of complaining from him, but I noticed that this summer for the first time, he is motivated to find a job and save money. He finally seems to “get it.” For my younger daughter, I told her she couldn’t go on the school trip next year unless she paid for a portion of it. And that motivated her to get a job this summer too. Good luck; it’s a very frustrating thing, I know!</p>
<p>speaking as someone of that age…</p>
<p>During breaks, I always have 2 or so weeks of sloth living. I lay around watching TV and eating like crap. Last year, I managed to catch up on every episode of The Office. It’s nice for a while. Then it gets old. </p>
<p>I want a job this summer not only so I can have money to do nice things and help pay my college expenses (books, amenities, tuition), but also because I would simply not be happy sleeping in until 2 every day or otherwise not doing much. </p>
<p>This means that perhaps your kids’ sloth will not be permanent. Unfortunately, by the time they come to, all the jobs might be gone.</p>
<p>Us, too. Money is the primary motivator. Bank of Mom closes at age 16. Allowances stopped, and I don’t put gas in the car. Without a job and the accompanying paycheck, there’s no going anywhere or doing anything. Gotta go with IBfootballer here. Until they’re feeling some financial pain, there’s not much incentive to work.</p>
<p>My oldest (who is still in high school) works a job she hates, any hours she can get, because she needs the money. Personally, I think it’s a great life lesson.</p>
<p>If their source of personal/entertainment/gas money is you, they really don’t have any incentive to work. Let them know that it’s their responsibility to finance their personal/entertainment/gas expenses for the summer as well as their college books/personal expenses for the upcoming academic year. If they choose not to get a job and earn this money, they must deal with the consequence.</p>
<p>thanks for the feedback; it’s hard to cut off their funds, especially in this economy, but everyone is right that they have to feel the pain to get motivated. IB Footballer, thanks a lot for that post, it’s so true (my son is catching up on “Breaking Bad” and my daughter is usually in bed with her laptop following Adam Lambert’s every post-Idol move.) You’re right - the jobs may be gone by the time they get up to speed. We won’t be too harsh if they simply can’t get a job, but we’d like to see some attitude adjustment for starters.</p>
<p>Our policy this summer is if D doesn’t get a job she will have no spending money. If she makes an effort to get a job and nothing turns up, she will have an opportunity to make money by working on specific projects (yard work,painting,cleaning basement) for us.</p>
<p>She is currently job hunting. One thing that has helped is that my mom was talking with her a few weeks ago and also mentioned it. She listens to Grandma :)</p>
<p>I HATE how lazy my kids are! I remind them how I worked all the time when I was their age, and only made $1.00 for babysitting or $4.85 retail (minimum pay those days). Still, it seemed like a lot and it kept me busy.</p>
<p>My HS kid has turned down $25 tutoring jobs. “I value my time”, he says. (although he “gets it”, since he has saved up lots over the year and already has at least one job this summer.) My other kids are coming home soon and have no job. One requirement I will make is that they don’t think this house is a college dorm, with clothes everywhere and eating at all hours of the night. Jobs are sadly quite scarce around here, so it won’t be easy to find much that’s not already taken. It’s their hours (bed by 3:00am) that drive me the most crazy.</p>
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<p>I have to say this is an incredibly ineffective strategy of trying to encourage anybody else to do something. It doesn’t matter if they are 18 or 28 or 48, saying they should do something because you had to at one point as well is not effective.</p>
<p>What is effective is what the other posters suggested: Setting up financial boundaries so they have to work in order to pay for some portion of their own expenses. Then the value of working becomes much more real to them and they see why they have to work. It’s not because Mom says she worked just as hard when she was 18 and it was only for $4.85 an hour but they work because they want to go to the movies or they have to pay for the dorm room, etc.</p>
<p>Son finished finals yesterday and will be off to his internship on Monday. Not a lot of time to relax.</p>
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<p>If I had a real job, I wouldn’t take that either. Tutoring is time-consuming, difficult work and turning down a real job for just $25.00, period, is a horrible idea unless you’re doing it for personal reasons and not just for the money.</p>
<p>resoguy: Give them a break. Here what I feel:</p>
<ol>
<li>The life expectancy is going up steadily, so the next generation of these college going kids might live well beyond 100.</li>
<li>Social Security is going to go bankrupt some time in our life time.</li>
<li>These kids will have to work way past 75 to be able to support themselves in those retirement years.</li>
</ol>
<p>So let them enjoy till 25. If you find that your kids are not becoming productive by 25 then complain.</p>
<p>Besides no money, you can try some combination of no internet, no computer, no video games, no tv, no car, no phone, in addition to the constant nagging. Nagging by itself is ineffective, but when combined with effective enforcement of other limits, nagging will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.</p>
<p>^^^: Put bars on their room too, to give a full fledge feeling of going thru the sentence.</p>
<p>If I ever had a kid say (when woken up at 2pm)</p>
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<p>I’d cut off all funding for social activities, etc right away. She is ungrateful and being obnoxious. If she is so upset at your rules, why doesn’t she go get her own place where she make her own rules?</p>
<p>D2 and D3 were given notice in January that they needed to find jobs that would start the week after their spring terms ended because their father and I would not be providing gas money or entertainment money this summer. Also, I told them I would be researching volunteer opportunities locally for them to become involved in Monday through Friday during the summer if no jobs materialized. I’m happy to say they both are working 40+ hours a week.</p>
<p>My oldest two kids are coming home for the summer in the next week or so. Luckily, both of them have managed to land summer jobs as camp counselors. My oldest “worked” last summer as a waitress/hostess at a restaurant just a few miles from our house. Because the economy was so bad, she was frequently called by the restaurant at the last minute and told not to bother to even come in because there were so few customers. Not her fault at all, but she earned very little $$$ and was pretty bored by the time the summer ended. Didn’t want to repeat that this summer. Child #2 is also working at a residential camp this summer about an hour away from home. She asked me to pay for her to get her lifeguard certification ($175) a couple of months ago which I gladly did. Because of that certification, she will work the waterfront at camp and is very, very happy. I have discovered that a lifeguard certification opens up alot of doors - she was eligible for many jobs at the local recreation district despite the economy still being really tough for teenagers.</p>
<p>Twins, D1 and D2 both knew they needed summer jobs. D2 filled out lots of applications and pounded the pavement for days and her efforts paid off (though they didn’t last summer). </p>
<p>D1 needed some help getting energized. She applied to a few places, but didn’t look around too much herself. She responded well if I e-mailed her links to various jobs that I found on Craig’s List and was lucky enough to get one. For her, the fact that she could easily bike there was attractive. She’s choosier, which isn’t a great trait when the pickings are slim but helping her find options she liked made all the difference.</p>
<p>I wonder if the OP’s twins are a little lost considering that it sounds like the family has moved? Maybe they don’t know the area well yet.</p>
<p>I’ll second Southmom’s suggestion about lifeguard certification. It is great for summer jobsand for part-time jobs at college.</p>