<p>I disagree. Time management is quickly learned with a 40 hour work week. Especially with a teen. </p>
<p>After an eight hour job at minimum wage they will think twice before wasting that hard-earned money. If they know they need to buy books in September, they will learn to budget. And they will not be able to stay out all night since they will have a schedule which will dictate when they need to go to bed, when they need to rise, eat, and how much time they will need to drive to work to be punctual. </p>
<p>After a full-time summer job, a college schedule will be a breeze.</p>
<p>POIH----Your daughter is a lucky girl…I think. I do agree that summer jobs teach responsibility and kids should be invested in there academics by helping to fund it.</p>
<p>S2 is having shoulder surgery next week and will have his right arm in a sling for four weeks! He has been in the sloth mode for the two weeks that he has been here albeit a very pleasant sloth. </p>
<p>I’m hoping when the four weeks have passed, he’ll be able to return to his college town (has a yr. 'round off campus rental) and find some sort of work…please,oh please.</p>
<p>momma-three: It is not that I’m against working or doing things kids like.
DD has not only volunteered at multiple organisation, interned at research lab during High school summer but also worked at an Academic Camp too.</p>
<p>What I’m against is kicking the butts if she doesn’t want. In my books there are far many important things to learn and know then by 8 hour of work.</p>
<p>Part of summer jobs teaches you to do work that you have to do even though you don’t want to do it.</p>
<p>In most families relationships, both spouses usually have to jobs they don’t want to do. Clean toilets. Get rid of dead mice in the basement. Check the solids level in the septic tank to see if it needs to be pumped. (Gross but required by law in my county.) These petty tasks are part of life as a family. We can’t hire someone to do all of these duties, unless a guy is independently wealthy.</p>
<p>Summer jobs help teach and reinforce these skills in a person because a lot of summer jobs require students to do the less desireable work.</p>
<p>My daughter has been working in the summers at some kind of job since she was a high school sophomore. The most important thing she has learned is the value of a dollar. Several of her wealthier friends spend their summers going to the mall, a movie, out to lunch AND dinner every day, spending easily $50-$100 a day. How will that lifestyle be sustainable if and when these kids are on their own? I have a feeling some of them will be getting handouts or living on the parents’ dime from their parents for YEARS.
When one of these girls was asked by her father whether she would get a job this summer, she replied, “I’ll get a job when Mom gets a job.” (Mom is a stay-at-home mom of this one young lady). If I had said that to my mother, I would have gotten slapped. The dad thought it was funny. I was appalled.
I work more than a 40-hour week, sometimes a 14-hour day, in part to pay for my daughter’s college education so she can graduate debt-free. She sees that, and I know she would feel awfully guilty not working. Besides, working has given her confidence with adults, independence and a sense of pride. Last year she paid for her own trip to new York, and you can bet she found the cheap tickets, food, etc.</p>
<p>Resoguy, has my daughter moved in with you? I thought she was still at college finishing up spring term. There is a huge difference in work ethic and motivation between older S and younger D. They were raised together in the same family, so how does one explain this? I guess I should just consider myself fortunate to only have to “crack the whip” with one child.</p>
<p>POIH, reading your posts lead me to wonder if you were raised in a culture/country other than the US. Your beliefs regarding low skill/low pay jobs are similar to those of other foreign or foreign-born people I have known. In many countries there are no real jobs for high school and college students, and one’s first job is as a professional. Here in the US, most people tend to believe that there is real value in students doing low level jobs. And although you suggest that these children would spend their free summers enriching their minds and having meaningful experiences, the reality is usually quite different. Resogouy spoke of his kids viewing all the episodes of Breaking Bad or following Adam Lambert. But, I do know that my daughter would happily move into your house for the summer!</p>
<p>To the OP, my first thought was: easy, just don’t give him any $, use of car, phone, whatever. That said, it really does depend upon the family $ situation, and on the kid, and what it is they do with their time if not working or going to school. In my D’s case, my attitude is more like POIH. D spends her time practicing music endlessly, writing music, reading good literature, setting up performances, attending music lessons… Sure, she could use a job, but she has the maturity to realize that the parents’ gravy train will not last forever, so she uses her time wisely to prepare for her career. For her, those 8 hours are better spent on music, not serving burgers or whatever. Of course, she’s just now graduating from HS, so our expectations will change over the next few years. </p>
<p>DS, on the other hand, used to spend his time on video-games, etc…no more of that, he works, goes to school, saves and manages his money. He also knows that since we still contribute financially, he consults us before he contemplates spending “his” $ on something “unnecessary.” He knows that our response would be: Oh, you can afford to spend $ on X? Then you don’t need us to conserve our spending so that we can pay for your college–our contribution ends now. If he continues as he is, he will have quite a bit of savings when he graduates.</p>
<p>So, if your kid needs the kick in the pants, apply it. That’s our job as parents.</p>
<p>"To Parent of Ivyhope-- How will a 25 year old have any semblance of a work ethic if they are encouraged to loll about on daddy’s dime for all those years?</p>
<p>They will have a totally blank resume, and no recommendations to land a job that late. Even graduate schools look for real-world experience. How will 25 year old who has never held a job be able to function with other colleagues maturely and productively? I guess mom and dad will have to hire him/her? "</p>
<p>Agree. Apparently some parents here are so wealthy that if need be, they can support their children forever.</p>
<p>Personally, I would never hire anyone for a “real job” post graduation who had never worked before, and I’m sure I’m not alone.</p>
<p>BTW, My oldest son doesn’t have a summer job until July…in the meantime, since he’s not actively looking for a job outside of our house, he stains our deck tomorrow, paints the interior trim next week, and he has already mulched all the flowerbeds and weeded, which is an ongoing task.</p>
<p>I make a list for him everyday. He complains and I ignore it. If he doesn’t like it he can go and find something better.</p>
<p>All these posts on kids not having jobs as being lazy and worthless is kind of… ouch. The only job I had in HS was a minimally paid internship one summer. The summer after my freshman year in college, I took a class and shadowed. The summer after my sophomore year, I got a paid internship with the government. My junior and senior years of college, I had two jobs, both of which carried through to the summers, plus a small stipend for teaching a freshman course my senior year. I’m staying on with one of my jobs as a “consultant” for the next year (or two?), and the connections from the job helpoed me secure a nice assistantship in grad school. Of course, my situation may be a bit different from the norm, as I can’t work most low skill/“menial” jobs (physical disability), but it’s not like I came out of college with nothing to show for it,</p>
<p>If my kids don’t contribute the set agreed upon amount to their tuition then they know they will take out more in loans. My husband and I could not send four to school without knowing that they had to pitch in. They also know that I would be on their back if they took out additional loans because they did not hustle to make the money. </p>
<p>They can photograph nature or go to the beach on the weekend just like their parents do.</p>
<p>I’m writing as one of those kids everyone is complaining about. I’m in high school right now, and have never had a job, nor do I plan to during high school. During the summers I have gone to nice camps, done research, volunteered, and went on a couple wonderful vacations. I am grateful that my parents would put aside the money, time, and effort to take me on these international trips. I am not spoiled. I don’t waste money needlessly, and do recognize how difficult it is to pay the bills and for other things. I don’t expect my parents to fund huge shopping sprees, or a car, or anything like that. Certainly not after I’m in college. Once I’m in college, while I would prefer a paid internship or work-study, I will find a way to finance travel, or clothes, or other things I want by myself, without my parents’ aid. And after college, I definetly don’t expect anything from my parents, although Christmas dinner would be nice. At that point, I’d be an adult, and don’t need or want financial support from others. Even though I have never had a job and don’t expect to, that doesn’t make me spoiled.</p>
<p>We didn’t ask our kids to work summers during HS. They were both at very intense academic programs and needed some down time (plus they had non-trivial amounts of HW over the summers). Summer after HS graduation: yes.</p>
<p>During college, they need to start going for those jobs/internships that will help them with post-grad employment, grad schools, etc.</p>
<p>Neither S spends a lot of $$, so in one sense, they have never had to budget because they don’t spend much to begin with. OTOH, they have always respected the value of a dollar, wherever its source.</p>
<p>S2 has landed one job for the weekends and is trying to get one during the week in case the weekend one doesn’t bring as many hours as he needs. I have a patio that needs staining, walls to be painted, screening to be replaced, stone retaining wall to be built…</p>
<p>BTW, he will also get to go on vacation and camping with us. It’s not all work and no play here!</p>
<p>My step son got fired from his job at Christmas, and we have been paying for it ever since. He is at college, and signed a year round lease , so now we are stuck paying his rent and utilities, etc. even in the summer. I can’t tell you how much this irritates me, and what is worse is that we can’t see if he is really looking for a job, since he is in a different state. </p>
<p>DH and I took part time jobs in addition to our full time ones . I’m using my part time income to pay our back taxes. DH is using his to help the son that I am convinced has not applied for every possible job.</p>
<p>I told my DH that we absolutely are not paying to have cable tv and internet installed in the new apartment. I’m hoping without that, my stepson will try harder to find something.</p>
<p>Oh yeah. The girlfriend he lives with has 2 jobs. That just makes me more angry, because I can’t understand how she can find 2 jobs and he can’t find one.</p>
<p>vderon, did you cosign his lease? If so, I guess you’re stuck, but otherwise, why not let him bear the consequences of not working? is the gf contributing?</p>
<p>In our case we have the lazy, sleep all day graduating HS senior. Who in previous years sounded very much like the OP’s kids.</p>
<p>But as we were at accepted students day, he was extolling the virtues of the coffee bar in the student union, and talking about the great trips the ski club takes. It was then that I pointed out that I was paying his tuition and meal plan, anything else he would have to fund. </p>
<p>And a light did go on at that point. He applied a few places, then finally swallowed his pride and applied to go back to a place he’d worked previously, that he swore he’d never go back to. And he is ok with it, since he wants to have money to do fun things at college.</p>
<p>During the spring we talked with D a number of times about her plans for working this summer. She wasn’t unwilling at all; in fact, after 7 years of IB and a year of college, she’s really ready for something completely non-academic. </p>
<p>We talked about the importance of getting started on the hunt right away, ahead of the UC and CSU students who will soon be out of school and flooding the job market. So she got started Monday morning with the online applications, and has worked diligently at it for a couple of days; she has something like 40 applications out there in cyberspace. But now that path is pretty well exhausted and it’s time to start pounding the pavement, and she is having a sudden attack of shyness. She simply cannot yet bring herself to walk into a store and ask if they’re hiring, or even request an application. Of course, I’ve explained that this will limit her prospects, it’s awkward and difficult for everyone, but no dice. </p>
<p>Well, I have to say I’m proud of myself; I’m not panicking, and I guess I’ve come a long way in my letting-go process. She has a goal in mind that will require her earning some money, so if she wants a job, she’ll need to figure out how to get one. She’s surprised me during the school year with her initiative and ability to negotiate obstacles, usually with some complaining and protest at the outset, so maybe that will be the case here. If not, it’s her goal that will suffer, and she’s an adult now. If she wants my help with resume feedback, interview role-playing, etc., I’m available, but I’m not going to push it on her. </p>
<p>Unbeknownst to her, DH and I have decided that if she’s unable to get paid work – a real possibility given the unemployment rate in Cali – we’ll allow (or require, depending on how she looks at it) her to get a more-or-less fulltime volunteer job somewhere. But we want her to have the experience of the frustrations of job hunting first. No laying around on the couch all summer.</p>
<p>I am a student and I know that I need a job this summer. Let your kid look for jobs which may interest them in a field they are thinking about going to. Have them volunteer somewhere which could then lead into an opportunity for a paid positions. I applied to be a shelver at the local library which pays 7.25/hour because a) its not fast food b) its not at a restaurant c) its inside for the summer and I am hoping I can still have the job when I come from college.</p>
<p>Martina, DH did not sign the lease, but it doesn’t matter. He won’t let the kid starve or get thrown out on the street. </p>
<p>It’s a tough situation, and one that causes a lot of resentment. We wonder if he is really looking for a job, and I mean every job. He worked fast food while he was in community college and swore he would never work it again. We have told him that he has to apply everywhere including fast food and landscaping firms, etc. So, I’m assuming he hasn’t looked everywhere, but he assures us that he has.</p>
<p>We are at that moment where some people would cut him off ( we have always done more for him financially than we had to for the other kids and given him more chances than he deserves) but it’s much easier to say it than to do it.</p>