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<p>You’re not the kids most people are complaining about. There are two issues: sloth/entitlement and money. Most people are concerned about the first, and fewer but many are concerned about the second. If the money isn’t an issue in your family, I doubt that they are concerned since you are spending your time well, not expecting lots of $ from them, and presumably being useful around the house.</p>
<p>I think the purpose of a summer job is much more than the money that a child earns. It teaches them responsibility, time management, a strong work ethic, a sense of accomplishment and compassion (for those that often do not have the opportunities that they have and therefore they find that these jobs are not “temporary” but rather permanent jobs for some). In our house a summer job is not optional. My kids age 19 and 16 both attend private schools,one at a $50,000+ university and the other a $12,000 high school. If they want spending money they are expected to earn it. Luckily, my kids have heard my message. I am fortunate that my husband and I can provide that they graduate debt free from college but I refuse to enable a kid who can’t their butt out of bed to go out and get a job, earn a little cash and learn these valuable life lessons. In this economy I know that in certain areas it is very difficult to find a job. But then get out and volunteer in your community. Stock a food pantry, give back with your time to others less fortunate. I have no patience for kids who stay up all night and sleep all day all under the umbrella of the notion that “it’s just what teenagers do, you have a lifetime to work”. No thanks. I think you have to get this message out well before they reach the age of 16. If you are trying to motivate older kids, you missed the mark somewhere. Why is working an option? Because many kids feel they deserve some “down time” after a tough school year? Please, life will never be easier then when you are in college. Because the jobs available are “beneath” them? Why do kids who have limited marketable skills feel like somehow they are too good to work at certain places? These are attitudes that parents put in place in the home, long before a child goes to get a job. No one likes working at a lousy job. It is called a job for a reason. But work is what you make it and in the end they are compensated for their efforts. If you want money, you need to work. I have no desire or interest in raising kids who feel it is ok to suck off the system (and that “system” is good old mom and dad). If you tell them to work but hand them a $20 to go out with friends what kind of message does that send. As I tell my kids, when you figure out where the money tree is, let me know, I want to plant one in my backyard.</p>
<p>I think one interesting observation is whether the parents are expecting their S or D to work.</p>
<p>A young woman with high tastes in life but little desire to work always can look for a rich dude to marry later on. That way, she can continue to live a high-style life without having to work.</p>
<p>A young man with high tastes in life but little desire to work is pretty much screwed because guys generally can’t run out marry a rich woman. They can try, but I think women who are highly skilled don’t enjoy being married to habitual slackers.</p>
<p>(I’m not being sexist. I’m simply stating the facts of our society. I’d encourage both men and women to work in full time careers.)</p>
<p>S has never had a job. I told him in September that I would give him spending money for his freshman year. After that, whatever he earns in the summer will be his spending money for the following school year.</p>
<p>The semester was over at the end of April, giving him a head start on other summer job-hunters. Then his dad announced he was taking S to Phoenix for two weeks in the middle of May (he’ll be back on Saturday). So much for the head start.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, we then found out that S is on academic suspension for the fall semester unless he takes two summer school courses (June 21 - July 23). Assuming he completes the two summer classes with at least a 2.8 average–by no means a certainty–he starts the fall semester on August 23. Will anyone hire a kid for just four weeks?</p>
<p>I can put him to work around the house until summer school starts, but the house is going on the market in July. There’s no way he can sit in the recliner in his pajamas all day, playing on his computer, while potential buyers are looking at the house.</p>
<p>stevensmama, I sympathize.</p>
<p>If my step son were living with us physically, and I could “make” him look, I’d send him out to ask the neighborhood if they had gardening or lawn mowing to do. I’d also look at Craigslist jobs under the “event” or “labor” category. </p>
<p>Last summer DD was an extra in a tv commercial, and she also sold merchandise for a local band at their concerts on weekends. She found both jobs on Craiglist.</p>
<p>I’ve had a job since I was 15…you have lots of incentive when your parents don’t give you money and you want to do things</p>
<p>I think the OP’s complaint is only partly about job hunting; he is facing the “attitude adjustment” of kids who are home from months of freedom from parental strictures. While the job hunt should be part of the plan, the housework and respect issues can be dealt with separately. Don’t be afraid to be strict, within reason, and listen, but don’t argue. </p>
<p>One of the great benefits to outside experiences for young people is that they are forced to learn responsibility, flexibility and respect for others. This is done in small steps, just like hitting a baseball or learning fractions. The saddest waste of human potential is when kids are not given these opportunities - either they have too much responsibility, which I see in my community with some very hard-working but overwhelmed families, or they are kept in a sort of cocoon where they don’t get to practice behaving in a real world setting.</p>
<p>I agree that kids need a couple of weeks of down time after the flurry of exams and moving back home. Some are very short on sleep. Set a target date for the end of the “vacation” but learn to accept those vampire hours - they likely won’t change!</p>
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<p>Marines returning from Iraq typically get one week off to adjust and some of them have to stand duty for a 12 hour shift during that week.</p>
<p>Do people really believe that college students need a “couple of weeks?” College is hard work but let’s not lose perspective, as much as our college students may want to convince us that no one is working harder or has so many demands on their time.</p>
<p>Also, I find the concept that an honest day’s work is “petty” to be insulting.</p>
<p>As for the op, it’s really easy as has been explained here. You cut off funds. I am continuely amazed at the number of parents who will pay their children to be lazy and disrespectful. Frankly, I’d rather put the money in a bucket and burn it than bankroll that nonsense.</p>
<p>^Agreed. and to everyone who says that finding a job for a teenager is difficult is full of crap. Go to Mcdonalds or the local grocery store. Their business plan incorporates huge turnover on the low end of things (IE, average working terms of two months). They are always hiring guaranteed (I know this from experience).</p>
<p>I had an awesome go at working in high school. I found a fun job I liked at a local restaurant, worked my way up the ranks, and ended up working 30+ hrs/week senior year and having some serious responsibilities. I learned more from my job than I ever did in HS. I ended up spending a decent amount of money, but saved most of it (about 12k total over 2 years). With this money, I paid my way on a ski trip to austria this spring break (I am a freshman at cornell).</p>
<p>^^Double agreed. Things were different when I was in high school, college aged. We worked. If we didn’t work, then we didn’t have spending money, gas for the car etc. After my finals freshman year, I drove to pick up a friend from college in Virginia (she had no family, her parents had died), drove half the night coming home and started my summer job the next day.</p>
<p>My S couldn’t find a job either, said he’d been trying, but it’s interesting how he magically managed to pull it together when he found out I was not going to subsidizing his ‘lifestyle’ in college. He went back to a job he hated the first time around, at a supermarket, and vowed he’d never do again. But he’s doing it, and he’s found he doesn’t mind it now. They’ve given him more responsibilities, and he’s starting to see what it takes to live as an adult. I’m proud of him.</p>
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<p>If you physically can’t do these jobs, all the incentive in the world doesn’t matter. That’s what I hate about this attitude–it’s just another form of entitlement. I’d <em>really</em> like to have the “safety net” of being able to get an “unskilled job” if nothing else works, trust me. I don’t. I never will.</p>
<p>Edited to add: If you can get a job at 15 more power to you, but I’m just pointing out that not everyone can get a job , and it isn’t always due to laziness or entitlement or being spoiled.</p>
<p>To say that finding a job for a teen is not difficult is ridiculous; just because a few posters here have had a smooth experience finding summer work does not mean that that’s normal. A lot of it is dependent on what part of the country you live in – they are places that have little to no hiring going on; as the economy improves, it’s also happening that out of work adults are picking up jobs at walmart, grocery stores etc. that would normally be taken by teens. When a manager has a choice between an adult who will work full time and has transportation and a teen who will be full time for a few months and then may go part time for school or quit altogether and have to rely on parents for transport, the choice isn’t all that hard.</p>
<p>That being said, there are plenty of teens who don’t try; I don’t think it’s enough to fill out an online app and expect a job to land in your lap. I think an online app should be followed by a visit to the store/restaurant etc., where you ask to see the manager, hand them a copy of the app etc. I know more than one person who has gotten a job that way because a manager who is otherwise pressed for time sees an interested teen, decides to interview them on the spot, offers them the job and then does not have to go through the thousands of online apps that were stacking up.</p>
<p>There is definitely a correlation between money and incentive to look for a job. Although my enterprising son managed to find every coin in the house, including under couch cushions before he finally got off his butt. Also, it doesn’t matter whether jobs are scarce. Looking for work is an important life skill and requires creativity as well as persistence and hard work. If my kid cannot find a job, then looking for a job IS his job.</p>
<p>“There is definitely a correlation between money and incentive to look for a job.”</p>
<p>Completely true, I totally agree. My son told me that he’d much rather work at an unpaid, non-credit internship doing something he was interested in, than get a paying job doing something he’s disinterested in. Doesn’t care about money, rarely spends it, has several thousand in the bank from a prior, high paying internship. As much as I’d like him to take a paying job, I have a hard time arguing against his point. Problem is, being from a well to do family where you don’t have to worry about money or tuition, may be a disadvantage later in life if you can’t get that perfect job. I have a great job now, but at least I know what it feels like to be impoverished and truly working for every dollar. My kids don’t know that, and even if we forced them to get low wage jobs, they would know it wasn’t “real life” but just for the lesson.</p>
<p>My son really wanted a job the summer before his senior year in high school and just coudln’t find one, I networked, etc. nothing happened. (No one else he knew had jobs either) Senior summer he started early, was always well dressed, polite, filled out many online apps (the stores hardly ever do paper now) went in to follow up, was told to come back and then told the manager wasn’t there, the list goes on. He finally walked into a store, a very busy, somewhat unorganized store, and the harried manager said to come back tomorrow…well, it wasn’t a pleasant experience but he made a few thousand dollars and realized he didn’t want to do that in the future. He never missed a day and had good references for his next job.
I know for some, jobs come, but many do look very hard and can’t find anything.
My daughters don’t have a car and have limited opportunities (weekends/late evenings) and no public transportation, but they will try their best to find work. I told them childcare and even volunteering for experience are all options where you might be able to make your own hours.</p>
<p>College students work to learn how to be part of the adult life they are entering. In adult life if you don’t work you don’t have a roof over your head, a car to drive, clothes on your back and food in your belly. We send our kids to college to learn how to think and expect that they will be employable, so why would we short change them from one of the best and free ways to learn how to be self sufficient. Young adults who do not know how to earn money are running scared, and lacking in the resources to become self relient. There really are a million ways to earn money in this country. It is just a matter of what you are willing to do earn money. When I hear kids say "I wouldn’t do that or I would’nt do this then it appears that they have grown up feeling that they think they are better then those who do those things. That is not the best way to begin their adult lives. I have always believed that kids needed to see how everyone lives in this world, which includes minimum wage earners to CEO’s with everyone in between.</p>
<p>being a “summer nanny” for all those kids who are in school the rest of the year?</p>
<p>There must be a lot of working parents who need coverage for their children who are on summer vacation.</p>
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<p>My D just landed a paying job at the museum where she volunteers. She was competing against adults for this position and it was the only one she applied for. She’s also doing an academic camp and may be doing an athletic camp in her sport.</p>
<p>My S, OTOH, has truly been pounding the pavement for months to find a job. And I mean smartly - in person, checking back with people, etc. I feel bad for him; he really has tried.</p>
<p>When the two teenage sons were approaching driving age, and started asking about borrowing a car, that was the time we had the “job talk” If they wanted use of a car, or wanted to buy a car, it would be on them to find a part time job. With this as an incentive, I have had no trouble with them wanting to work. They realize it is a fact of life. No job= no money. Older son has worked even during school year since age 16, and kept up with all his activities and studies. He has learned invaluable lessons from his restaurant job. One of the most valuable, is that he has learned how to interact with all types of people, and be held accountable for his performance. He has learned to not complain when told to clean the restrooms for a second time. Priceless!</p>
<p>Son #2 is pounding the pavement as I write this. He is taking his driving test tomorrow, and has an interview that is promising at a different restaurant for a busboy position. He knows that if he passes that test, gets a job, he will have use of a car.
Let me just add that this not very unusual for our neighborhood. Most if not all kids have some type of part-time job- even during the school year. I think they develop a sense of pride with it. Here’s hoping son#2 gets the job-he called the manager twice, and practically insisted he wanted to come in for the interview (he will make it in sales, some day!)</p>
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<p>California’s teen unemployment rate last year was almost 33%.</p>