So, following from my other thread, I am wondering how I can turn down other schools without being seen rude.
I haven’t officially accepted any offer yet. Two professor from NCSU and UMD are trying hard to get me funding(at this point I am sure that I won’t have to worry about getting paid), but obviously I will have to turn down one. I am really grateful that they are being super accommodating, and it makes me feel awful to decline one of them. Does this happen often? If I tell them that I sincerely appreciate their help to get me a great education but after much consideration (including family issues) I decided to go to other school, will they understand? I am concerned especially because I applied to the program of same discipline in UMD and NCSU: Food Science.
Also, I am almost certain that I am not going to Stevens. Sorry if I am being incoherent…I am feeling a little sick.
Yes schools will understand. Don’t worry about that.
That’s part of academic life. Express your appreciation and that’s fine. Congratulations on multiple offers!
Just tell them as soon as reasonably possible so that the one you don’t choose has ample time to search for a plan B. That’s the way to reduce disappointment as much as possible.
Tell the one you are declining how difficult the decision was, especially because of xyz - particularly if xyz is a person or a program being run by a person you liked and hope to connect with in future. Odds are good in any field that your paths will cross again, so do it all genuinely and with integrity. Totally agree with @boneh3ad that when your mind is made up, let them know asap so they can move on. They know they may not get you, btw…
In the end you can only accept one offer. You make that choice and politely decline the others with gratitude that they considered you.
This is key.
OTOH, don’t decline until you know with certainty that your first choice has full funding, assuming it’s a doctoral program. ‘UMD’ (Maryland?) is known to not fully fund students…
FWIW, the students I always offer to fund first are the ones who are the absolute best fit (in my estimation), which usually means they are also top students. That also means that they are likely in demand assuming they have applied to more than one program, and I know that going into the offer process. I won’t generally put a hard deadline on a prospective student giving me an answer (other than the one the department has already), but I do very politely ask them to let me know one way or another as soon as they know so that I can plan accordingly. Finding good graduate students is one of the hardest parts of my job, so I do appreciate it when prospective students don’t string me along.
When it comes to students turning me down, I personally don’t really feel the need to hear some long-winded explanation about how great an opportunity it is but they just want to take another option (although I do often try to ask where they decided to go instead so I can get a better idea of my “competition”). Short and polite is the name of the game for me. That’s personal, though, so as long as you adhere to the polite part, you should be fine.
Thanks for all the responses. I have decide to go to UMD!