The school nurses knows my son well due to his cardiac and anxiety issues. They have never spoken to me at length on anything other then these two issues but I will consider engaging with them more over the next school year.
I know most of my son’s friends. They are a fun and interesting multi-demographic mix. I’ve met the parents of three of them - all decent people. None are academic powerhouses but my son is performing the worst. My son also appears to be the one that ties them all together (through his music production projects).
Hugs OP. This has to be so worrisome and frustrating.
Agree with those that question whether repeating 8th grade would be beneficial. What would change? Wouldn’t he be even more bored and unengaged repeating the same classes? Having him move onto HS with support seems like a better option IMHO, if possible. As others have said, repeating a grade may or may not help, if he can’t or won’t modify his approach to school.
While an ADHD or other diagnosis can be a good thing, it unfortunately doesn’t really fix things, especially for inattentive type. The medication isn’t as effective and the student still has to do the work. Side effects are real and sometimes the kid, especially in HS, won’t take it consistently. The schools often offer extended time, which works for some, but not for a kid that is bored by the work. Not trying to be a downer, but just to say there is no “magic bullet” in a diagnosis.
However, with a diagnosis the school may be able to provide better backup - notes, clearly written schedule of what is due when, etc. If you can afford it,
I would first focus on the sleep issue. Make sure he doesn’t have a phone, TV, computer etc in his room after a certain time of night. While a new bed may help, not sure it was solve the problem. If he is sleep deprived, he will have a hard time focusing.
If possible and affordable, for either the 8th grade repeat or for HS having a tutor and/or academic coach to help him keep track of his assignments, develop good study skills and complete his work.
I would be worried about the social issues with repeating 8th grade if he has a good social network. I’m in the camp of repeating the classes at the HS level and staying with the peer group. Middle school grades won’t impact college so it can be a clean slate starting in 9th if that’s the concern.
I would be focusing on the sleep. Get the music production studio and PC out of his bedroom. Carve out a space somewhere else. Make his bedroom only about sleep. I also agree with getting rid of devices and cutting the modem at an appropriate time.
We went through not getting enough sleep with our D in middle school and into early HS. Her entire peer group were procrastinators and they would start texting and messaging her for homework help at 10 pm. She’s be up until 1 am tutoring and then up at 6 am exhausted. She felt badly not helping her friends so we told her to tell everyone that her parents were unreasonable ogres and that we were confiscating devices at 9 pm so if they needed help, they’d have to text her by 8 at the latest. It totally worked and it set up good sleeping habits that followed her into college. She insists on 7 hours/night minimum because she functions much better and knows it.
Enlist help from the doctor/pediatrician to give a lecture on the importance of good sleep if you need to.
My daughter is worse with devices than my son. And for both, their pediatrician has told them that they should not have any electronic devise interaction within an hour of bedtime. I’ve walked in to my son’s bedroom at 10:00 pm. He’s awake but not on his computer. He just can’t sleep. He’s an exceptionally compliant child - almost too much so. If I tell him to do almost anything he does it without question or hesitation. Academics is where he falls apart.
The more I think about it, the more I think that a repeat of 8th grade may be beneficial.
A repeat of Spanish will not be detrimental. It may provide an opportunity to better understand the language. He will have the opportunity to take other classes that he missed out on the 1st time around (Drama, Computer Science, Health). And, as the Math, English, and Science classes will be a repeat, he will have a better opportunity to focus on organizational skills.
I don’t think a repeat of 8th grade would be beneficial. I would have him concentrate on doing the summer work for the English class then and see if they will let him move up to 9th grade and repeat Algebra 1 in 9th grade. Honestly, English is somewhat repetitive, and I say that as a book-loving nerd, but once you get the basics down it’s pretty easy to skip a grade, unlike Math. I would talk to the school about him repeating Math and doing whatever it takes to pass 8th grade English and then move him on to 9th grade.
I think he does need more help w/ executive function or something, or maybe he needs parental help to keep him on track with the math. He sounds like an exceptionally bright kid who just isn’t thriving in the school setting. If you can get him evaluated he may be able to get a 504 or IEP and that may help. Ask the teachers to keep you in the loop on assignments. I know when my kids were in high school I got alerts from Google Classroom about assignments due and I was able to follow up with my kids. You may need to step up your game to help him with his executive function and make sure he gets those assignments turned in.
Have you used Khan Academy for math? We used it a lot with my math-reluctant kids. The way Sal explains concepts always helped me to help them. We could get them through the homework whether they paid attention in class or not using Khan. They didn’t get straight As, but they got the basic concepts and didn’t fail the class.
Honestly, in my experience, most teachers and administrators do not WANT to fail a student. I know of one student in my kids’ combined 7 years in high school that was held back and she was a special needs student who really just needed a bit more time.
Yes, I agree that how the school day is organized can have an impact.
For my son, Math is the first class of the day (when he is still sleepy) and English is the last (when he is completely spent). From that viewpoint, it seems understandable that this is where he’d have the most trouble staying awake.
Not really. Everyone else is staying awake, right? And presumably some of those kids have busier schedules, with athletic practice or whatever, than your son. For a very bright kid, 8th grade isnt usually where executive skill deficiencies cause problems-many bright kids could barely attend class and would still pass that level. I hope you are able to get to the bottom of this mystery with the help of expert professionals. Good luck.
I dunno, one of my kids hit a wall in 8th grade. He was also an easy-going and sweet personality, so teachers put up with a lot up until then…but by 8th grade, never handing in homework, or having it emerge- crumpled and dirty from the depths of his backpack with half of it unfinished, or not having enough focus to follow directions for an essay… it all caught up. I don’t think it’s unusual.
A lot of folks have focused on the different schools. It sounds like this was done in search of a better fit/environment (partly due to covid?) rather than because the family was moving, etc. You can use this to help figure out what works for your son and what doesn’t.
Think about everyone from schedule, teaching style, content delivery, etc. You’ve already shared that learning through screens doesn’t work and that he’d benefit from a schedule that didn’t place classes at the same time every day. He does better with additional explanations. It sounds like he does better with hands on things. A professional who is helping you can use some of this to identify the issue and you can all use it to find a place where he can thrive.
I have personally known three middle school boys who have had this problem, including actually doing the work completely but not handing it in. None were as bright as this student, but they didn’t need to be - they just needed to turn the work in!
Re: your son’s uncomfortable mattress - There’s 8" twin foam mattresses on sale at Amazon for ~$150. They’re really comfortable. A new mattress doesn’t have to break the bank. So that would solve that problem pretty easily.
My kids, as well, attend a top-rated charter school that ends up in the US News & World Report list every year. Many of their classmates stay up until the wee hours of the night NOT doing HW, but screwing around online in social media & electronically chatting w/all of their friends. My kids are zombies at school the next day w/o 7-8 yr of sleep, so for them, it’s a strict ‘lights out’ policy. In bed w/o electronic entertainment by a certain hour. ODD has commented to us before that the kids in her classes who sleep in class the most are the ones who stay up really really late (2-3 am).
You should also consider other aspects of his sleep environment in his bedroom. For example, does household noise or noise elsewhere in the neighborhood keep him awake? Simple solution for that - use a white noise device or app. Does ambient light from outside get into his room and night and shine in his face? Put up some blackout curtains.
8th grade is when my kid learned that being smart is great… but that following directions, meeting deadlines, asking follow up questions when you don’t understand something, is what gets the job done. It was a hard, hard year for us… he was so used to phoning it in at school (and then decided to check out) that he dug down deep into NOT working on organizational skills, not keeping track of what happened when, not following basic classroom protocols.