How would my essay be graded on SAT Essay Scale! Willing to grade your Essay too!

Test Preparation
1

<p>Thank you so much. Post your essay if you me too grade them.</p>

<p>Knowledge is power. In agriculture, medicine, and industry, for example, knowledge has liberated us from hunger, disease, and tedious labor. Today, however, our knowledge has become so powerful that it is beyond our control. We know how to do many things, but we do not know where, when, or even whether this know-how should be used.</p>

<p>Assignment:
Can knowledge be a burden rather than a benefit? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<p>Knowledge can sometimes be a burden instead of a benefit. In the information age, knowledge is easily accessible and is quickly exchanged from person to person; however this knowledge can be a burden in some instances. There are several examples from history and literature to support this claim.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by Sir Isaac Newton during hte Scientific REvolution, knowledge can be a burden in some instances. Newton is regarded as one of the brightest thinkers in history. He is famous for formulating the three Laws of Motion. Despite his tremendous finidings, the knowledge soon became a burden to him. The Roman Catholic Church branded him a heretic when he tried to spread his knowledge. The church felt that his teachings opposed their own, and they punished him for the offence. Hence, knowledge can sometimes be consequential and burdensome.</p>

<p>Similarly demonstrated by Friar Lawrence in Romeo and Juliet, knowledge can be a heavy burden to carry. Romeo and Juliet is about two unfortunate lovers who were fated to die. They burden of knowledge is felt by Friar Lawrence, the man who married the two "star-crossed" lovers, because he knew about the two lovers' connection, but failed to tell their elders. Therefore, he feels that he is to blame for their death. If he had notified them, the two would not have had to die. Thus, knowledge can be a heavy burden for one to carry. Friar Lawrence must live with the consequences of simply knowing a truth, but not acting on it.</p>

<p>After careful analysis of the harsh life of Sir Isaac Newton and the gulit of Friar Lawrence, knowledge can indeed be a burden as opposed to a benefit. If Sir Isaac Newton and Friar Lawrence lacked the knowledge they had acquired, they might have lived happier lives.</p>

2

<p>Add a third example and you’ve reached the 5/6 mark!</p>

3

<p>No lolololol^^</p>

<p>Do not add a third example. Elaborate on your other two and you will definitely get a 12. </p>

<p>They are way too short. Add more details. Explain how exactly did the church’s actions of branding him as heretic affected him. Explain what the punishment is. Also mention that if hadn’t pursued his interest in the field of science, thereby gaining more knowledge, he would have not have this problem. Just keep elaborating. Make up the details if you don’t. For example: He was put to jail and his family had to pay a debt. The debt= burden && this clearly shows that the presence of knowledge was directly detrimental to Issac’s life. etc…</p>

<p>Samething for the second paragraph.</p>

<p>Your structure, second structure, and vocab were all very good.</p>

<p>I would probably give it a 9 right now.</p>

<p>If you add more details it will definitely be a 12.</p>

4

<p>Score 4. Your essay has adequate organization, coherence, sentence structure and control of grammar and mechanics to save it from being a 3. Your critical thinking is a problem.</p>

<p>In the second sentence of the first paragraph you use ‘however’ to join two ideas that are not necessarily contradictory or even contrary. Also you set an early expectation that you are going to discuss knowledge in the ‘Information Age’, and then you select your examples from the 16th and 17th centuries.</p>

<p>In your first example, you use very general statements when more specific statements would be much better. How did his teaching oppose those of the Church? How did the Church punish him? When you make your discussion so general, the reader justifiably gets the impression you don’t really know the facts of the case. Also, you have a specific concrete idea that your example illustrates, but you never specifically express it. You say that the example proves that knowledge can be a burden. In what specific way is knowledge a burden in Newton’s case? It can be a burden when it puts us in conflict with the doctrine of authorities who have the power to punish us for our beliefs.</p>

<p>Your second example is also a problem. Is Friar Lawrence is burdened by the knowledge he has of the plans of Romeo and Juliet as you first suggested, or is he burdened by his own decision to keep their secret? You don’t really answer the question in your paragraph, although your mention of his guilt and the more general ‘ignorance is bliss’ point in your concluding paragraph could support both ideas. Still, what is the specific idea that the example supports? It is that knowledge can force us to make unpleasant choices and to bear the responsibility for the choices we have made.</p>

<p>Which shows the clearest proof of the ability to think critically:</p>

<p>To say: Knowledge can be a burden.</p>

<p>Or to say: Knowledge can place us in conflict with the power of authorities who can punish people for their beliefs. It can also put us in situations where we must make difficult choices between unpleasant alternatives and then force us to live with the consequences of our decisions.</p>

<p>Until you can do the latter, your score will not rise above a 4.</p>

<p>Finally, “As demonstrated by…” is not a very graceful way to enter an idea. Doing it twice doesn’t make it any better.</p>