<p>This is my fourth draft: </p>
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<p>I am a unique individual. During times of adversity, I have persisted where others have surrendered. My individual character can be described with many words -- encouraging, ambitious, persistent, focused, and amiable. However, the limits of characters can only go so far, while on the other hand the activities that I have participated in throughout my high school career have had a permanent, profound impact on me. That, coupled with advice and abuse from some very influential figures in my life, has also affected me as well. </p>
<p>During my high school career I was heavily involved in many activities. I gave my blood away to those in need. This taught me about community service, which lead me to volunteer at my local hospital, where I had heartwarming conversations with the elderly. I warmed their hearts up. I cared for them, I really did. I made sure that they were satisfied and wished them a happy and fulfilling rest of their lives. In addition I participated in tennis which helped me build my muscles and showed me the value of teamwork. Model UN improved my charismatic skills and augmented my self-confidence through public speaking. I will have to admit, I was extremely scared when I first set foot in front of the large crowd of Model UN delegates, but soon I was at ease when I began speaking. The audience trembled with excitement as I spoke. It was truly an amazing experience. And then there was Interact and my school's local rotary club. We did many things there such as community events, helping the poor and helping the school. I did many fundraisers and after all of my contributions, many people within the school, especially the lowly freshmen began to look up to me as a fatherly figure. It was truly an amazing experience. I also wrote poetry and joined some literary clubs where I continued to further my education in an extracurricular sense. </p>
<p>Not only did activities influence the person I have become today, however, as other factors have affected my personal development as well. My father is one of those figures. When I was young, he beat me very much. I come from a Korean household, and he stuck with very old traditions. When I did something wrong, he would beat me with a belt. But for more serious problems, there were more serious consequences. Sometimes he would make me undress and put on a diaper, and then he would spank me until I cried. I felt truly humiliated by his actions, and this was what made me hate him for much of my childhood. However, as I grew up and matured, I learned that he was doing this because he loved me. He hit me with a belt because he loved it. He spanked me in a diaper because he loved me. Only when I finally grew up and put the immature, childish toys and habits away did I realize how much of an important figure my father was in my life. He had taught me many things, help me develop both personally and sexually. Out of all the people who have tried to change me for the better, including teachers, friends of family, and family itself, my father definitely stands out as the most influential person in my life. </p>
<p>One must go through many important steps in life to become a fully developed figure. I am one of those people. The things I have learned from my childhood up until the end of my senior year of high school, have all changed me in positive ways. For those events that appeared to be negative were not really negative, as they had a hidden positive trait to them that I did not have the ability nor maturity to discover until I had finally grown up into a mature, responsible adult. </p>
<h2>I am an individual. I am unique. I am the role model student that Carnegie Mellon University would love to have within their class of 2015 freshmen student body. I am perfect, in a special kind of way. </h2>
<p>What do you think?</p>
<p>Rate from 1 - 10 please</p>