<p>Suppose one of your kids were accepted to a prestigious, expensive school, but you were getting no financial aid. And suppose that paying for it were "super difficult" but not "utterly impossible". And further suppose that you came from a place and time where something of that sort would most certainly have been "utterly impossible". A place where the climb to where you are now borders on the improbable. </p>
<p>Would you consider doing it, just because you could?</p>
<p>No.</p>
<p>I’ve decided that school prestige is unimportant in the grand scheme of things, and the type of people your kids are will determine what they will be in life. Whether they attend a regular state school or an uber expensive school won’t likely change them as a person in my opinion.</p>
<p>IF the child really wanted it, we would have made it happen. Having said that, DD turned down Georgetown and Chicago for a nice scholarship at Pitt and we were pretty proud of her decision.</p>
<p>I grew up with a widowed mom and attended one of our state schools. DH is a West Point grad.</p>
<p>See, the thing is, if there were no financial aid, one has to assume the parents have assets (or that it’s a divorce situation where one parent can’t pay), and if the parents have assets, it’s probably not “super difficult”. So I reject the thesis of your argument.</p>
<p>In that situation, I think I’d reapply for financial aid, attend a less expensive school for a few years, and consider a transfer. Going to a state university is far from a bad option.</p>
<p>It could be as simple as the parents have the assets but refuse to pay for the most expensive college when they feel the state university gives a fine education at a much lower price.</p>
<p>“Suppose one of your kids were accepted to a prestigious, expensive school, but you were getting no financial aid.”</p>
<ol>
<li><p>the fact that you only describe the expensive school as prestigious, but don’t mention anything about its faculty, its programs, or the many other positives that the “top” schools in America have, leads me to believe that you are uninterested in those other things (odd, but certainly possible) or that this is a setup of some kind</p></li>
<li><p>What will the family be doing with the money if the kid doesnt go to school, or that is what will the be sacrificing? Will the parents give up their gym memberships and die an early death? Will they give up eating out, and find joy and a renewed relationship in learning to cook gourmet foods at home together? Its too hard to say. It does seem that some folks who are quick to point out the uncertain benefits of paying for college, are less quick to examine the uncertain benefits of other expenditures</p></li>
</ol>
<p>The question answers itself: no.</p>
<p>Since the only 2 descriptors of the schools are “expensive” and “prestigious” I assume that it’s not a good fit for the student; if it were a “great place for my student’s interests” or one that “matches my student’s affinities to T” that would matter.</p>
<p>But since any discussion of the relationship between the school and the student’s needs was omitted in favor of the the other-directed “prestigious”, no, it’s not worth it.</p>
<p>Picking a school based on prestige is the academic equivalent of Abercrombie or Hollister wear: in place of any true sense of individual worth or style one defaults to the brand that everyone knows.</p>
<p>I don’t see why the money saved by not going to a prestigous school would be spent on other things instead. It would make the most sense to me to save the money and have it in the bank for the future. It might be used to fund a grandchild’s education, to give to charity, or used for the parents to retire at a younger age. They might use it to buy an RV to travel the country in retirement, to travel throughout the world, or to buy a vacation house in Hawaii or some exotic land.</p>
<p>And I can’t say there is anything wrong with parents spending the money they earned over their careers on themselves.</p>
<p>It sounds like the OP is willing to pay for this expensive school because of the prestige. If money is not an issue, and they can and will pay for it, than their kid can go there if the family agrees. However, if the finances aren’t there…why would this be considered at all?</p>
<p>Each family has to make its own decisions regarding how much they are willing to pay for college. Sounds like the OP is only willing to pay the expensive bill on this one because of the “prestige factor”. Does the student have other options that the student likes? Really when students apply to college, they should be willing to attend EVERY SCHOOL to which they apply. </p>
<p>Some families have a financial limit on college costs and some don’t. There is no “right answer” to the question posed by the OP.</p>
<p>No…</p>
<p>“I don’t see why the money saved by not going to a prestigous school would be spent on other things instead. It would make the most sense to me to save the money and have it in the bank for the future.”</p>
<p>So thats just shifting it to future spending. Which may or may not be more worthwhile.</p>
<p>“It might be used to fund a grandchild’s education”</p>
<p>A grandchild who might be better off at a state school. Or even get a free ride. Or who may never even come to exist. </p>
<p>“to give to charity”</p>
<p>Which may be a worthwhile charity, or maybe not. Where I live lots of folks who give to charities like to get things named after themselves, for, guess what, prestige.</p>
<p>“or used for the parents to retire at a younger age.”</p>
<p>And renew their relationship. Or spiral into a depression.</p>
<p>“They might use it to buy an RV to travel the country in retirement”</p>
<p>Melting the icecaps, and creating new employment for agricultural scientists from state schools trying to figure out ways to maintain food production.</p>
<p>“to travel throughout the world, or to buy a vacation house in Hawaii or some exotic land” Or they could find a vacation home thats just as good, but in a less prestigious location, doncha know.</p>
<p>Ok, this is interesting.</p>
<p>
Lots of people have very high EFC’s which are basically unrealistic. So, for them, “super difficult” would be how they would perceive it, if paying full freight were even possible for them.<br>
I didn’t mean to imply that the prestige was the “only” thing, since obviously if your hypothetical kid applied there, it would be because he really, really wanted to go there. You have already informed him that “yeah, that place was ok” is not a good enough endorsement to warrant application to some uber-expensive place.<br>
Probably not earning it.</p>
<p>"I didn’t mean to imply that the prestige was the “only” thing, since obviously if your hypothetical kid applied there, it would be because he really, really wanted to go there. You have already informed him that “yeah, that place was ok” is not a good enough endorsement to warrant application to some uber-expensive place. "</p>
<p>The more expensive place was okay, or the cheaper place? </p>
<p>I don’t spend much on prestige. As info, I drive a Hyundai. OTOH I can see lots of serious, fit, differences among colleges. How much thats worth paying for depends on the individual student, how big the difference is, and what the alternative use of the money really is. </p>
<p>OTOH I know some folks who do spend a lot on prestige. I suspect paying for an expensive college has better real return than paying for a better car, or going to a charity ball, or whatever. But I guess thats not the hypothetical case here, huh?</p>
<p>"2. What will the family be doing with the money if the kid doesnt go to school, or that is what will they be sacrificing? </p>
<p>Probably not earning it."</p>
<p>I do not think you understood my question.</p>
<p>
Perhaps the money will allow the parents to be self sustaining in their retirement, and thus provide the kid with the gift of not having to support his parents in the future, because they spent all their money on his prestigious, expensive school.</p>
<p>In response to the OP, yes, my husband and I would sacrifice in order to send our kid(s) to an expensive school that all of us considered an excellent fit. </p>
<p>In our decision, prestige would not be a factor.</p>
<p>"Perhaps the money will allow the parents to be self sustaining in their retirement, and thus provide the kid with the gift of not having to support his parents in the future, because they spent all their money on his prestigious, expensive school. "</p>
<p>Perhaps. We dont know the rest of the parents financial situation - how much they have in retirement accounts, if they have pensions, how much they like their jobs, or even how old they are. </p>
<p>We don’t know if the kid will want his parents to live with him to take care of the grandkids if any. </p>
<p>I am just responding to the hypothetical. </p>
<p>I can’t really say what I myself would do, as I can’t imagine asking a question like this about $ vs prestige without even mentioning factors related to educational quality, fit, etc. It really seems like the OP is involved with some other argument with someone else, with factors he doesnt want to share with us, and is looking for validation of his position.</p>
<p>A lot of the disagreement on the cost of college comes from what part of the country you are in.</p>
<p>People living in New York City don’t find Stanford or MIT or NYU to be as exhorbitantly expensive as those living in North Dakota. </p>
<p>Financial aid may cover some of the cost. But it will still leave a lot to be desired and still may be far out of reach for the North Dakota farmer whose kid got accepted into Stanford.</p>
<p>Maybe the North Dakota farmer has saved a little bit his entire life for that house in Hawaii, and he may not feel obligated to spend his entire life savings so his kid can go to the expensive college. That may well be because he knows that his son will be the same person regardless of whether he goes to University of North Dakota or Stanford. </p>
<p>By going to UND, his son can have the job he wants and the farmer can eventually retire in the house he wants.</p>
<p>I don’t see anything selfish about that scenario.</p>
<p>“Maybe the North Dakota farmer has saved a little bit his entire life for that house in Hawaii,”</p>
<p>I’ve listened to Garrison Keilor enough to know that the NDak farmer will be very unhappy in Hawaii. </p>
<p>At least he isnt a North Dakota bachelor farmer.</p>
<p>
Clarify, then?</p>
<p>
No, OP is grappling with confusing situation.</p>