I apologize for the really long post, but I need some help calming down.
I’m homeschooled and to be honest with you, I’ve gotten behind on my academics. I went through a really dark time last year and I’m still trying to recover from it. My family and I have decided to extend my high school career by an extra year. Now, I’ll be a junior in the fall instead of a senior. Math is a difficult subject for me. If I understand it, I enjoy it. However, if I don’t get a concept right away, I lose all motivation to finish the work. I’m trying to work on this, but it’s still so hard for me. This worries me greatly since I’m planning for a STEM major and my math level so far only goes up to Algebra I. I need to finish with at least Calculus I by the end of my senior year, so I’m planning to take the rest of the summer to study Geometry. Six months ago, I thought that I wanted to be a mechanical engineer, so I found an engineering camp hosted by my local university, but the problem was that it was very selective. The application was sent in before I had decided to take an extra year, so my graduation year is wrong. The application also asked for my extracurricular activities in high school. I listed yoga, church youth group, piano, and sculpting. This is where I start to feel queasy. I haven’t been consistent with my extracurriculars. I’ve only done yoga a few times throughout the year, but I plan to start practicing again tomorrow. I quit my church youth group two years ago and I haven’t touched my piano or sculpted anything in months. When I submitted the application, I thought I would get back into all of it, but I just haven’t had the motivation to do it. I didn’t intend to lie at all, but I feel so guilty about this. If I tell the university, I probably wouldn’t get my money back and it would ruin my admission chances if so ever decided to apply there. I did get accepted and everyone keeps congratulating me on making it, but I feel guilty. It’s just a one-week camp, should I let it go?
I’m sorry for the long post, but I feel terrible.
Sorry, I should clarify about the math situation. The application asked about my math level as of June and I inserted Algebra II. I thought I could study all of it within four months, but I was wrong. Obstacles popped up, so I didn’t even start it. I should be on track to catch up within the next year. Anyway, I emailed the university and asked if I should brush up on any math skills and they said no. From what I gather, I don’t think there is much math involved in the camp. So hopefully, that should be okay. I’m just nervous.
You have 2 separate issues. Your ECs on the application to the summer program sounds like a collection of interests that help them know you better. I wouldn’t worry about when you’ve done them.
Check your state’s homeschool laws to see if your parents can hold you back a grade if you’re not failing. I’m not sure how you’d explain it on college apps. I’d sooner graduate on time and take a gap year.
You have a whole bunch of issues, and tbh the camp is the least of them.
First, you didn’t “accidentally” lie- you deliberately put down things that you knew weren’t true on the application, and rationalized that if would be fine if you just did them later. It’s not.
Second, you are looking at schools like Cornell for Engineering, when you have only done math through grade 9 and say that “Math is a difficult subject for me. If I understand it, I enjoy it. However, if I don’t get a concept right away, I lose all motivation to finish the work. I’m trying to work on this, but it’s still so hard for me.” Cornell engineering is an incredibly demanding course, and it takes every kind of motivation, commitment and willingness to keep going to get through it.
Third, and most important, you seem to be struggling with something bigger (“I went through a really dark time last year and I’m still trying to recover from it” " I thought I would get back into all of it, but I just haven’t had the motivation to do it"“Obstacles popped up, so I didn’t even start it”). You truly, deeply need to figure out what that’s all about (or if you already know, you need to figure out what to do about it). Use that extra year to really focus on that.
You got accepted into a selective engineering camp for high schoolers at the university you hope to attend one day and they didn’t have a problem with your lower level math (especially for a Jr/Sr). If that is correct, then focus on getting to where you need to be academically by the time you are ready to apply for college. I don’t think many universities are going to be checking high school applications to their summer camps with your official college applications to cross check what ECs you put down. They will care about your level of Math if you want to be part of the engineering college at your university.