Hello everyone, like the title says, I am a college freshman at the University of Michigan who has made so many mistakes his first semester. I had difficulty making the transition, and made several stupid choices that I fear may cost me a lot of opportunities in the future. I realize that I really messed up here, so I don’t need more people to tell me how dumb I am because I have absolutely been beating myself up for my mistakes. I have cut up my fake id, gotten rid of all of my illegal things, and plan on really improving next semester.
Despite these screw ups, my grades have not suffered and I am still doing fine in my classes (other than a C+ in Calculus but Calculus is very hard). Next semester I plan on really focusing on school and doing even better in my classes, getting involved in clubs on campus, and becoming a better person. I have signed up for alcohol classes where I will be talking with a counselor and getting help. I truly do regret my choices, and I want to make up for them through hard work. However, I fear that with these two charges on my record I will always be at a disadvantage. I don’t want my life to be ruined because of the mistakes I made as a freshman and I fear that I have completely ruined my chances at a successful career. I know that I broke the law and that I have to own up to my mistakes, but I have so much fear that I have destroyed my plans. My parents told me that it shouldn’t be that much of an issue and that jobs and schools won’t care about a misdemeanor charge. However my sister, who just graduated from the same school as me last year, has told me that I have severely limited my options through my poor choices and essentially told me that it will be extremely difficult to get a job or get into graduate school with these MIPs. So my question is, have I ruined my life? Will these charges really make my life that much harder? Have I soiled my chances at a successful professional career? I am looking for honesty here so please just let me know the facts and don’t just tell me things to cheer me up.
Sorry for the poor formatting, I tried to add paragraphs and accidentally posted. I don’t know if I can edit this thread right now or not.
So your parents. who are adults and have raised 2 kids to the point of getting into a competitive university, say that you have not ruined your life.
Your sister, who is barely adult, and has at least 20 years less experience of the work world, tells you that your chances for jobs or grad school are ruined.
Why do you rate your sister’s opinion over your parents?
Of course, it would be better if you didn’t have them, and iIf you have an option to do something to get it dismissed (community service is sometimes an option), do that. In some cases you might be able to get it expunged- check that out as well. But even if neither is an option, it is a misdemeanor and it is not the end of the world. You will want the rest of your profile to be strong, and show lots of responsibility- things that demonstrate ‘I may have made a couple of dumb mistakes as a 18/19 year old, but look how I’ve matured.’
I am holding out hope that I will be able to get them dismissed because I have heard of people with 2 MIPs going through programs that leave them with clean records but I am not sure. I am going to greatly improve every aspect of me that I can, but I just don’t want to have this permanent deal breaker tagged to my name. My dad is the Sergeant of a narcotics team for the Michigan State Police and he was more worried about how I would pay for the fees, and when I said that doesn’t matter to me as much as having it on my record he said “its just a misdemeanor”. But I worry that times have changed since they’ve had to apply for jobs and that with things getting more competitive I will be ruled out.
Those programs exist- be diligent about finding out what the choice is for where you are. And trust your Dad. It’s not a permanent deal breaker. I can’t say that it will never get in your way (if it stays), but it is not a deal breaker.
Learn from your mistakes and you should be fine. Keep repeating your first semester freshman year mistakes and it will become a problem. All best wishes as you move forward in a positive direction.
Your life isn’t over. Let me say first of all that the law is wrong, wrong, wrong. As far as I am concerned you have done nothing wrong because you had no duty to obey a law which discriminated against an adult citizen. But you did have a duty to yourself not to get caught.
Many states allow people to have their criminal records expunged when they turn 21. It’s almost comical because a couple of our local law firms run half-price “Expungement Specials” right about graduation time every year in my town. You should find out if similar laws exist in Michigan.
These charges don’t help you, but they do not destroy your future. Don’t get caught again. Don’t use fake ID cards. If you drink, make it on the sly. And do investigate whether the charges can be expunged.
I also agree with the other people on here, I think if you are right for a job, these mistakes will not ruin those opportunities. If anything comes up in an interview about it, you can always just turn it into a positive about how it was a wake-up call for you to mature. If you stick to your “self-improvement regime” I think that maturation and hard work will say more about you than these small teenage mistakes.