It is just passed midterms and I logged onto gateway to check my grade and did not expect to see myself doing so poorly. I am failing my only 3 classes. I am technically enrolled in 4 classes, but one of them is a freshman course required by my university. In high school I was at the top 10% of my class and made my parents immensely proud through my academics. Once I got to college I was really contemplating between majoring in political science, because I love politics and U.S. government, or biochemistry. I had always wanted to be a doctor and I was so set on biochemistry and once I told my parents about my love for political science they told me to be more practical. I have very old school formal Asian parents, so I followed what they told me to do and majored in biochemistry to make them happy. Now that I have been in my classes for quite some time I have discovered that I absolutely hate my major. I am currently taking general chemistry, general biology, and calculus I. After midterms I am failing all three of my classes. I am currently undergoing the process to change my major to pre-law political science but I have not told my parents, which is also extremely concerning because they are paying for my college. I have no motivation in my classes because I truly am not interested in what I am learning. I feel like no matter how hard I try or how long I study, it is never enough. All of my friends are doing great here and I have to act like I am too and it is genuinely eating me up inside. I am scared of what might happen to my scholarships and I don’t know what to do next. I am currently setting up meeting times with the 3 professors to discuss my options but I cannot drop the classes because I am only taking 13 credit hours and you need at least 12 to remain an on-campus student here. I never thought that I would disappoint my parents so much and I don’t know if I should tell them now or let them know once I change my major and talk to my professors about my options for the rest of the semester. I came into the university with a great amount of college credit so I will not be behind when I switch my major. I am extremely humiliated and distraught because my goal was to transfer to Texas A&M at the end of my freshman year, but looking at my current grades I am extremely stressed that I won’t get in now. I know my grades will skyrocket as soon as I am out of the biochemistry department but I currently feel like my life is falling apart and I just have to keep lying to everybody and act like it’s okay. I am under a great deal of stress outside of school as well and I just really feel like everything is collapsing on me.
As a parent of 2 college students, we constantly tell them if they are doing poorly in a class to let us know. It’s twice as bad to find out your child is doing poorly and has been lying to you for months than it is to see a poor grade that you had been forewarned about. You definitely need to meet with your professors to see if the grades can be salvaged. You should also be going to tutoring and any other study groups offered. The political science classes aren’t going to be easy either. Simply changing your major isn’t a magic fix, you need to figure out why you’re doing poorly.
In addition to meeting with your professors/advisor I would also go to the school counseling center and seek out professional help.
I assure you that you being a poli sci major is more acceptable to them vs. you not going to college at all…so don’t think they have all the power.
Also if you are a freshman, then taking 2 lab courses plus calculus is pretty tough.
My suggestions:
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GO TO CLASS, BUY THE BOOK, READ THE CHAPTERS, AND DO THE HOMEWORK!
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Go to Professor’s office hours early in the semester and Ask this question: “I know this is a really difficult class-- what are some of the common mistakes students make and how can I avoid them?”
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If you have problems with the homework, go to Prof’s office hours. If they have any “help sessions” or “study sessions” or “recitations” or any thing extra, go to them.
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Form a study group with other kids in your dorm/class.
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Don’t do the minimum…for STEM classes do extra problems. You can buy books that just have problems for calculus or physics or whatever. Watch videos on line about the topic you are studying.
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Go to the writing center if you need help with papers/math center for math problems (if they have them)
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If things still are not going well, get a tutor.
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Read this book: How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less by Cal Newport. It helps you with things like time management and how to figure out what to write about for a paper, etc.
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If you feel you need to withdraw from a class, talk to your advisor as to which one might be the best …you may do better when you have less classes to focus on. But some classes may be pre-reqs and will mess your sequence of classes up.
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For tests that you didn’t do well on, can you evaluate what went wrong? Did you never read that topic? Did you not do the homework for it? Do you kind of remember it but forgot what to do? Then next time change the way you study…there may be a study skill center at your college.
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How much time outside of class do you spend studying/doing homework? It is generally expected that for each hour in class, you spend 2-3 outside doing homework. Treat this like a full time job.
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At first, don’t spend too much time other things rather than school work. (sports, partying, rushing fraternities/sororities, video gaming etc etc)
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If you run into any social/health/family troubles (you are sick, your parents are sick, someone died, broke up with boy/girlfriend, suddenly depressed/anxiety etcetc) then immediately go to the counseling center and talk to them. Talk to the dean of students about coordinating your classes…e.g. sometimes you can take a medical withdrawal. Or you could withdraw from a particular class to free up tim for the others. Sometimes you can take an incomplete if you are doing well and mostly finished the semester and suddenly get pneumonia/in a car accident (happened to me)…you can heal and take the final first thing the next semester. But talk to your adviser about that too.
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At the beginning of the semester, read the syllabus for each class. It tells you what you will be doing and when tests/HW/papers are due. Put all of that in your calendar. The professor may remind you of things, but it is all there for you to see so take initiative and look at it.
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Make sure you understand how to use your online class system…Login to it, read what there is for your classes, know how to upload assignments (if that is what the prof wants).
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If you get an assignment…make sure to read the instructions and do all the tasks on the assignment. Look at the rubric and make sure you have covered everything.
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If you are not sure what to do, go EARLY to the professors office hours…not the day before the assignment is due.
You might think that this is all completely obvious, but I have read many stories on this and other websites where people did not do the above and then are asking for help on academic appeal letters.
I agree that you should do everything you can to at least get Cs in your classes. Don’t try to slog through this alone! Talk to your instructors. Get tutoring. Sign up for study groups.
As for your parents – there is a way you could talk to them. First, begin with the fact that you’re NOT enjoying your classes nor doing well in them. Tell them how competitive pre-med is. Show them stats about how many students start out as pre-meds vs. those who actually end up applying to med schools vs actually getting in. (Lots of info available via Google.)
Then tell them about your passion for politics. Do a bit of research where a political major could work even without law school. Tell them about options that include public policy, working for local legislatures, community organizing, etc. Show them opportunities you could pursue with a combination of political science+law that don’t include being a practicing lawyer (lots of those, too.) And of course, give them some information about law: did you know there are parts of the country where there’s a critical shortage of lawyers?
The reality is your parents can’t force you to study biochemistry. But they can come to at least accept (if not respect) your decision to pursue political science if you present it in the right way and if you do well in your poli sci classes. If they see you’re not just passionate but well informed about the field, and excelling in your classes, they will feel better about your decision.
Good luck. Know you’re not alone: many, many students change their paths in college, dramatically. And many of them end up doing just great in life afterwards. There’s no reason you can’t be one of them.
Good luck. It will be OK. Take it from someone who’s seen this scenario play out many times.
I was at an expensive private school (getting some financial aid, but enough still coming out of my parents’ pockets) and realized sometime before the end of my sophomore year that I did not want to pursue my major (art), that I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and I didn’t feel justified going to the school and spending all of their money if I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I was the first one on either side of the family that was expected to make it through college and attending the school my step father spent his only year of college at, so the weight of expectations was very heavy. Telling my parents was soooooo difficult and terrifying - tears, feeling like a failure, not knowing how they would react. They were nothing but supportive, for which I am eternally grateful. I spent a year at CC, switched to marketing, transferred to a Cal State, and go my degree. It took me 6 years, but I did it.
Some things to glean from this:
- As soon as I figured it out, I had the talk with my parents. The longer you let something fester, the more difficult it becomes to have the conversation, and the unintended consequences could become much worse.
- Having a plan when you have the talk. It sounds like you do, so, @katliamom advises, tell them why you want to do this new major, and the opportunities for you if you do.
- Expressing gratitude for their financial and emotional support. When you throw them a curve ball like this, some parents can feel that you just don't care about your education or don't respect them or their support of you. It sounds like nothing could be further from the truth for you - make sure that they hear this.
A LOT of kids are going through exactly the same thing you are, but at least 1) this is early in the game, so a course correction is easier, and 2) your grades reflect your lack of desire/ability to grasp the subject matter in these classes that you don’t want to be taking (you really thought this was what you wanted to do, too, but it appears you were wrong). Imagine being a senior, getting through a pre-med MCB major with good grades, and you still haven’t told your parents you aren’t applying to medical school. So, how does THAT conversation go? And, yes, those people are out there, right now.
I think that many smart kids (and their parents) assume that “of course, you’re smart, you will be a doctor”. Medicine is not the only field where we need really smart people. A smart person who finds his or her calling will be an asset to any society. If yours is law, you will be, too.