I am at the point that I have no clue what to do; I’ve made a wrong turn somewhere down the path and I have no clue how to get back on track.
Really, I think I might achieve more by beating my head off a wall.
To start from the beginning: I did not have the greatest childhood and it was always impressed upon me that my ticket out was a good education.
So I devoted everything I could to doing well in school.
I was a high achieving student and graduated 2nd place (which doesn’t matter much now).
I got into a pretty good public University (NCSU). I choose them because it was more affordable and I was feeling a lot of pressure from my family to stay close enough to help with family matters.
There were good things about NCSU though and so I was happy. I decided on zoology (actually I had known I was going in for a zoology degree since I was an elementary student). My pets had been my saving grace during my childhood and most of the time; they were the only ones I could lean on. So that’s why I picked zoology; unfortunately more forethought did not go into it than that and no one ever questioned what I might do with it. I did not think of that myself until after my freshman year, but at that point, I was doing everything I could just to tread water and survive my chaotic life.
In any case, I went in with almost my whole freshman year completed and could have graduated early. However, I decided to take my time and stay for the 4 years. This allowed me to take the minimum of credit hours nearly every semester which ended up being a life saver (not because I am a bad student but because of other things going on).
I did end up back home frequently taking care of younger siblings or some other such nonsense. Same deal as in HS except I could escape back to college 3 hours away; but the minimum credit hours allowed this wiggle room.
I did very well overall with a gpa of 3.82 and a graduate class thrown in. During my undergrad career, I completed internships and volunteered with many non profit groups. I unfortunately though did not get any lab work in other than what was required by my courses. I did not know at the time that this was important for further education and my advisor was not much help.
My advisor was a very busy man, so I understand in that aspect why he wasn’t much help. My first meeting with him went like this: I came in with everything prepared and my schedule for next semester picked out (as I was instructed too via email); he was impressed that I was prepared and remarked that he wouldn’t have to worry about me at all (apparently the other students did not follow instructions but I failed to see how my following very simple instructions meant he wouldn’t have to worry about me); he signed off on my classes and sent me on my way before I could even ask a question.
That’s basically how the next 4 years went. He was incredibly hard to get a hold of and many times I had to seek out my department head for help (then I was usually referred right back to my advisor much to my frustration).
When talk of graduate school came up, he just urged me to go to the school he went. It was a great school but I knew the expenses would be too much for me. He told me to just not worry about money. Same thing for taking the GRE. I did not have the cash for it if I wanted to eat (despite my fafsa showing parental support, after first semester, I received none). There was no other talk of what I needed to be doing to make myself look good for grad school.
I realize now I should have been doing research on my own on what I needed to be doing but despite how frustrated my advisor made me, I trusted him and he thought everything was fine. I realize now he was just busy.
I did have one professor who did take me aside to ask about my plans. Too little too late though. She remarked that I should have been put in a program that would have allowed me to complete my masters as with just a few more classes I would have qualified. However, as a rising senior, it was too late for me to even get into the program. It was apparently something my advisor should have notified me about.
I graduated in December, a semester late (I had taken a semester off due to family/money issues and instead took an internship). Shortly after that, there was a terminal illness in the family. We had a lot of ups and downs and I found myself traveling back and forth frequently for a whole year to help where I was needed. We finally thought a test treatment was working and I settled and got a retail job while I got back on my feet and looked for a lab job. Unfortunately the calm did not last, and my relative took a sudden turn. I ended up traveling back down to help (FL) and my relative passed and I was left dealing with the fall out for months afterward.
Since then, I’ve been trying hard to get a good job (since May) to make up for my lack of laboratory experience. However, it has not been going so well. A lot of the beginner jobs ask for a year or more of experience or certifications. I’ve also tried seeing if I could volunteer at a lab but it seems no one takes volunteers. I’m around Charlotte NC if anyone has advice on that front on where I could go.
So I am in a bind; I had originally planned to be working at a lab and to be able to apply for graduate schools this fall. That has not happened and I am at a loss as to what to do.
The professor I am using as a recommendation is incredibly busy himself and so things have drawn out on that end as well.
I was planning on applying to some PhD programs as they don’t take masters (they say they do it all in one) and masters programs. I still really love zoology but I fell in love with genetics through an honors class I took. I also have a lot of interests as far as the genetics of certain health conditions that animals and people have in common. As well as a lot of interest in breeding genetics (I am a part of a small group of people trying to preserve a very rare heritage livestock breed), evolutionary genetics and genetic engineering.
So I figured some type of genetics program would be a great fit for my interests but not only do I lack the necessary lab experience, but I also lack a BS in genetics.
I do have two schools picked out and some professors picked out but I’ve yet to contact anyone as I’ve felt I don’t have much to show them. I am seriously doubting my ability to even get into a masters program. I honestly have no clue what my likelihood of success is.
I do take my GRE soon. I finally got a voucher and even then it was quite the kick to the wallet. Getting the voucher has been an awful process as well. My old university didn’t even know what I was talking about and finally, admissions staff at another University took pity on me and sent me the necessary forms so I could get a voucher. I think I will do pretty well on the gre according to the practice tests I’ve taken. I’m going to study the math up a bit more and the critical writing and then take the test.
Honestly, I’ve had no one to talk to about these things and I’m really hoping some outsider perspective will help. I’m pretty lost, confused, frustrated and ready to give it all up and move under a rock. I’d have probably given up already if I didn’t have fur babies counting on me (really, I know it sounds crazy, but my dog and cat and been my rock as the people in my life are not supportive or dependable).
I know I need a fresh set of eyes; what would some of you do in my position? What should be my very next course of action starting tomorrow?
Also, what schools would you guys recommend? I do have two picked out as I said (UofF and UofGa) but I’m afraid my chances might be slim and I need good back up schools.
I’m terribly sorry for the long post. It all came pouring out I’m afraid. I really feel like a hot mess right now and I hope some straight forward guidance will help!
Thank you in advance!
