<p>especially in groups and/or w/ ppl idk well... is this just me?</p>
<p>i mean, sometimes i feel like i m insulting ppl by being quiet and dont notice when this is happening. when i do realize this, i dont know what to do about it, so i just end up saying something random or bein even more quiet.</p>
<p>i am a jr n i was seriously hoping to break out of my shell now but it looks like w/ increased pressure in school, EC's, work and all, i m being even more reclusive. this is affecting my school work, esp in oral presentations and discussions - i can never seem to get my pt across cause i get so nervous b4 hand n psyche myself out.</p>
<p>I feel the same way as you a lot of the time. I'm just really quiet around people i don't know, but with my friends, i'm like a lot different. With a lot of my classmates i feel like i give them the impression i don't like them, but i do, i'm just shy. I try and be friendly with everyone, but i hate being "that shy nice girl", ya know?</p>
<p>I don't get this. Be louder is all I can say, but somehow I feel like saying that is insensitve and over-simplified. People often complain about being overweight, or ugly, or losers, but being too shy seems like a problem that is way too easy to solve. Just copy what the louder (but non-obnoxious) people do. Be more aggresive, take charge when no one else will. It's easy. Just don't worry about what people think. </p>
<p>You could try taking a public speaking course or watching Dr. Phil.</p>
<p>I was shy once, I think. Definetely not anymore. Most people think I'm the noisest, most outspoken person they know. My parents always wish I was quiet like I used to be. :)</p>
<p>First of all, lots of really successful people are horribly shy, so don't feel bad about it.</p>
<p>For us shy people, interacting with others is like a muscle, I think. When I start to feel very shy, then I start to act very shy; but the more shy I act, the more shy I feel. It's a vicious cycle for me.</p>
<p>The flip side is that when I make a choice not to act shy in a small way--to let a good friend drag me to an event where I don't know a lot of people, or to attend a new club, or whatever--I often feel less shy and awkward.</p>
<p>When I have some good friendships to rely on and a strong sense of confidence in my day-to-day activities--if I am working on something that makes me feel good about myself--then I also care less about what other people think.</p>
<p>I don't think you need to transform yourself. Just try to start making ordinary, everyday choices that require you to speak up. Make a habit of introducing yourself to people, for instance. Make sure you have some supportive people in your life, and remind yourself of the things that you do exceptionally well.</p>
<p>Most importantly, remember that most of the time, people are too focused on themselves to give you a second thought!</p>
<p>just be YOURSELF. if you are a quiet person by nature, however, try to change that.</p>
<p>freshman year i was the quietest kid in school. by the time junior year came along, i was always the first one to present that dreaded presentation or shout out loud in class(i dont recommend this with some teachers). now, when im quiet on a really bad day, people are always like "what's wrong dude, ur not urself"</p>
<p>for me, i am quiet around people i don't know too well, but once i know them, or i am in a comfortable environment, i am probably the loudest.I am quiet with strangers, and hate introducing myself, mainly cos my name is so hard for people to pronounce too.</p>
<p>No, MmCheezItsYay, not at all! But it's helpful to be able to show a more outgoing side from time to time. I'm really happy with my introverted lifestyle (I'm an adult), but I'm also happy that I learned to be comfortable in stressful public situations. It's a mix.</p>
<p>You do make a very good point though: the goal is not to change your personality, OP; your personality is fine. The goal is just to add a few new skills to your toolbox.</p>
<p>There's an article I really like about introverts that you should read...it might not help, but it's funny, and I bet you can identify with it--sometimes it helps to know you're not the only one.</p>
<p>Someone said "it's way too easy to solve, be more outgoing"--that's just it! To you, it's a simple matter of not caring what others think and "copying the louder people." In practice, that's harder to do--for myself, at least, I know that knowing I should speak up more and actually doing it are two very different things.</p>
<p>That said, I think a good step towards being less shy is doing more public speaking and presentations and such. Depending on what kind of shy you are, it might be easier to speak up to a large-but-impersonal group, where what you have to say, and not you yourself, is the focus. Small talk, for me, is the more difficult part that comes later (YMMV, though).</p>
<p>Whenever you tense up or feel the need to retreat inwards, just remember one phrase (modified to avoid censor):</p>
<p>Just screw it. Seriously. The spotlight will never be on you until you are successful. When you get up to speak, remember that you are the flagbearer of success (Mel Gibson in the final, historically inaccurate battle scene in The Patriot). Onwards, damn it! </p>
<p>Oh, and being funny is a great way to ingratiate yourself within a group, making it a lot easier to become outgoing. Watch Comedy Central a lot and parrot a couple jokes until you're able to make the jokes yourself. That's all it takes.</p>
<p>I'm shy around certain people (like certain classmates and certain teachers) that I just don't relate too very well.
Just relax and don't worry about it. Keep a light, fun attitude. Don't worry about embarrasssing yourself. Remember, you'll never see these people again after you go to college anyway. Just say what comes to mindd.</p>