I am miserable at my current university. Should I transfer? And if so, where?

Transfer Students
1

Hi everyone, sorry for this rant but I feel trapped and confused and I really need some advice.

Currently, I am a freshman at Mississippi State. Admittedly, this school was my “safety pick”, but I still decided to make the most of attending here and went in with a positive attitude. Unfortunately, as much as I am trying to love State and focus on the positive aspects (I love my professors and classes, and the campus actually isn’t that bad.), there are few major things that are preventing me from doing so and actually making my time here miserable.

The main issue that I currently have with State is that a lot of my high school classmates go here with me. At first I was a little apprehensive about this since I didn’t want to see anyone from high school again, but I figured that it wouldn’t be an issue and I wouldn’t have to interact with them. Unfortunately I was wrong.

Despite being here for over two months, I mainly only talk and hang out with people from my high school. Not a single one of us has branched out or made new friends. We all still have high school-esque drama, and even though I made sure not to have classes with any of them I still can’t go a single day without bumping into one of them on campus or interacting with them. It’s absolutely miserable.

My primary goal when attending college was to exceed in my classes and focus on my future (which I’ve always kept at the forefront of my mind while being here), but I also wanted to branch out and discover myself as a person. I wanted to find my own group of friends, and still hanging out with people I act fake around from my hometown was absolutely the last thing I had in mind. At this point I can’t even cut myself off from them because I rely on them a lot for social interaction and I can’t go a single day without at least seeing or interacting with one of them. I feel trapped and extremely lonely. I feel like I’ve let myself down and Ive limited my potential to grow as a person.

Another (although much smaller issue) I have here at State is the town it’s in. Starkville is extremely rural, and although the area I come from is urban by no means I really didn’t think it could get worse until I came here. I can see how the town can be charming and appeal to people that choose to go here, but for me personally I hate nearly everything about it.

The only thing that prevents me from breaking down and feeling depressed all the time is the idea of transferring and getting out of here. My parents said they would support my decision, but they also have told me they don’t think it’s a good idea and that I’m not giving State a chance. I’m really trying my best, but the whole social aspect is really messing me up. I figure if I end up liking State by the end of this year, then I’ll just remain here instead of transferring to any of the schools that I may get accepted into.

My stats are:
3.7 high school gpa (unweighted)
Graduated high school with Honors (Top 30 of class)
3.85 College Gpa

I also did a lot of volunteer work with wildlife organizations and extracurriculars in HS, but I’ve heard at this point that it’s irrelevant.

I’m currently looking to transfer to UNC Chapel Hill. I wanted to apply in High School but didn’t because I thought it was a lot less affordable for me than it actually is. I know it’s a bit of a long shot, so I’m looking for other universities that are in the South East. A university around the same size as State or smaller is fine (~20,000), and I know that in general you’ll find the same kind of people at most colleges. I am just looking somewhere that I can exceed in my major (psychology, so I’m thinking already in mind for Grad School) and have a better social life. I’ve been told by friends that attend there that William and Mary would be a really great fit for me socially, but I just can’t afford it.

Any and all help is appreciated.

2

I’m curious what is preventing you from hanging out with students who didn’t go to your high school. When the high school friends invite you to go to dinner, you don’t have to say yes. I am assuming that your roommate is not from your high school. My advice would be to get busy hanging out with the new people so you don’t have time to hang out with the high school people.

3

I’m an extremely passive and non-confrontational as a person, and saying no to anything for me is hard. Especially when it’s people I’ve known for a long time.

My roommate actually isn’t from my high school, and is probably the only non-high school friend I have right now. Unfortunately I made the mistake of introducing him to my hs friends, so he’s a part of our “group” now too and hasn’t met any new people outside of it

4

How much will your parents pay at a transfer school?

What is your ACT or SAT? If you transfer within the next two years, schools will want to see your test scores.

“Extremely passive”…well that doesn’t bode well for transferring either. You’ll have missed all the icebreaker so for freshman, and the current students will have established friendships making it harder for an “extremely passive” person to make friends.

Join the psych club at your school. It will be easier for you to say “no” to high school classmates if you have “other plans”…and those plans CAN include…studying for test, doing homework, etc.

5

I assume it’s a very big school. I suggest you join some fun clubs or pledge a fraternity. There are new people to meet, and it’s still early in the year

6

How will you be any different at another school?

Unless you want to be a passive doormat for the rest of your life, you need to start asserting yourself sometime. Try joining clubs where you’ll meet other people who share your personal interests.

7

Sorry, I meant to put my ACT score in my first post. It’s a 28. Never took the SAT.

And I guess you guys are right about my passiveness… I just constantly feel like my old classmates are looming over me when it comes to anything I do.

There have been a few club fairs here but none of them have interested me at all. A lot of them are geared towards engineering majors. The psychology club here was just formed and I signed up for that but there haven’t been any meetings so far

Edit: my parents are willing to help me pay off loans I take out and pay for traveling expenses. Currently I don’t have to take out loans for State, although my parents made me take out a small one for the first semester just to be safe if I remain I know I won’t need to take out anymore. I know that’s a huge positive

8

What does your scholarship cover at MSU?

Take out loans? Help you pay? Psych major?

These are terrible ideas. You could end up with $50k-150k of debt!


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There have been a few club fairs here but none of them have interested me at all. <<

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^^ this suggests that you’re not going to be any happier at a new school.

9

I have a suggestion…find out if you can do a “study abroad” next semester. That adventure will speak volumes about how well you do when around NOBODY you know.

10

You can’t find any other clubs here? http://www.union.msstate.edu/student-activities/student-organizations/directory/

11

What about other people in your living group, beyond your roommate? It’s still only a couple weeks into September! There’s plenty of time to expand your social circle. A lot. Good luck!

12

Start with the positive aspects. You like your classes and professors. You don’t need loans to afford this school, which will help with grad school.

Just pretend you don’t know anyone there. What would you do? Just try some clubs, who knows, they might be fun.

Find a community service group to join, that will get you out and distract you from your situation.

13

The word “miserable” and the reference to depression suggest that this change has been very difficult for you. It happens sometimes – someone goes to college and feels so out of place and out of sorts that it is possible the person is not ready socially or emotionally to be there. Often the issue is not academic but personal adjustment. For you, the problems emerge in relation to your h.s. friends, but for other students it can be a variety of issues. Two possible paths – you can either mature and grow from the experience at your college and try to establish yourself there, find new friends, new clubs (as others have suggested), etc. OR it may be that nothing is going to help, and the only course is going to another college that is a better fit. That is also a maturing process – accepting that your college is not right and then seeking a place where you will fit in. Finding a new right place can be difficult also. (Sometimes the time it takes to transfer is also the time you need to grow.) Whatever you decide, I agree with those who say don’t get into big loans or financial problems.

14

Are you instate for Mississippi? Could you transfer to Mississippi Southern? What about transferring to Ole Miss or UAlabama Tuscaloosa?
How many credits will publish have by the end of the semester?
Make sure you study hard and go to office hours, meet with tutors, because your grades will be essential for any transfer.
Uva and Unc ch have financial aid for oos applicants but I don’t know if that applies to transfers. In addition, North Carolina universities have a cap on how many oos applicants they can admit.
Apply to Unc Wilmington, Appalachian State, perhaps ncsu, is Columbia honors, usf?

In the meanwhile, make sure you branch out and find three clubs. Clubs where you do things together - especially charity based and activities based - are more conducive to making friends. Just go to a meeting and start chatting. At the end, ask 'are you guys going to dinner '. Make plans, so that when your high school peers ask you to join, say you can’t because our have x or y.
You may want to read ‘the naked roommate’, an excellent book of advice for freshmen.