<p>This is the very best of CC. </p>
<p>I'm blown away by so many of the posters here--from the lovely, brave, and talented Becky to the many wise and generous people who care about her. Coureur, your inspiring post stood out even in this amazing group; it gave me chills.</p>
<p>Dearest Beckly: Of course you are sad: your fantasies and dreams about packets and options are not going to be realized. You do not get to celebratea very tangible proof of how special and "wanted" you are. It is humbling and disappointing. If all of your schools had come through, or if several of them had, you would have had to make a choice. And your choice might not have been one which would have done for you what Michigan will do for you. Everything about your life would have been different that what it will be. None of us can (or should/would) imagine the realities of our futures. Yours will be remarkable in ways you cannot know. So mourn your fantasies, very briefly, but embrace your reality, and you will have joy (in a way that all of us here have learned to expect from you.) There are so many positive thoughts afloat in cyberspace about you. Each one of us would pick you for a daughter, you are that special. All of our positive thoughts will wing with you to a glorious life and future. Love and hugs to you, Frecklybeckly!</p>
<p>Beckly,</p>
<p>Of course, you are sad... I am sad, too, and frankly, I don't even know what to do. My 16-year-old got into Princeton. My 18-year-old got into UIUC. Was he sad? No way, it's his dream school! </p>
<p>But... looks like we can't afford UIUC. Ironic, isn't it? Our EFC is pretty low, and while Princeton's finaid covers all the need and then some... I definitely do not expect anything like that from UIUC. Still waiting for the finaid package, but reading all this <a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=45858%5B/url%5D">http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=45858</a> - I don't think we can pay more than $20000 - one salary, three kids in college... so, here goes his dream.</p>
<p>Not that this should cheer you up, but - you know... you still have UMich... and we probably will have to get the dorm deposit back and start inquiring at the local community college about their transfer programs...</p>
<p>HI Becky,
I have been giving your post a lot of thought all nite...and now this morning. I did not know how to respond last nite. I was relieved to see that Jmmom signed up for the watch last nite....now, this morning, I seem to have an inkling of what to say....so here goes.... not as elegant as Coureur and others, but having just finished another of the Alexander McCall Smith novels about Precious Ramotswe.... some plain speaking is all I can provide.....</p>
<p>I honestly think that God has other plans for you. Having grown up in New Haven, as wonderful as it would be for you to attend Yale...I think God wants you to have a broader experience. You are ready for a larger stage....and a different stage. Yes, your brother gets the Ivy League stage....and you get a Top 10 stage. Not too shabby! Michigan to me is the middle of the country HYP (along with U of Chicago and Notre Dame, how about U of Chicago is Central Harvard, Nortre Dame is Central Princeton and Michigan is Central Yale? I think you would agree that Stanford is Western Harvard, Cal Tech is Western Yale and Pomona (or UCLA) can be Western Princeton.) I believe attending Michigan will provide you with an experience, moving out of what you know into an arena where you will be exposed to a very different setting, an experience that will give you more to sing about. The good, the bad, the heartfelt highs and lows. </p>
<p>I think you have a few stereotypes yourself that need to be broken down, ie all the guys on steroids? So, God is lifting you up and out of what you know and depositing you into a university setting where you will learn so much. And it is being done in such a gentle way, with the potential of a "residential college" to give you the comfort of home with all the fun and excitement of something very NEW. </p>
<p>As hard as this is for you.... I am CONFIDENT that you will thrive wherever you are.... and I will cite one of the sayings that come to mind when we try to "control" things that are out of OUR control. "Let go and let God" ... there is something much bigger going on here and even though you said your enthusiasm is fake, I don't agree with that. You are already coming to grips with this new reality and you can't stop yourself from making initial inquiries like your post to new classmates at Michigan. "Who is going, what are you going to study etc etc." You are sooo alive, your biggest concern should almost be is there any school big enough to contain me....and all of my intersts and all of my passions. </p>
<p>I went to a state school in NY.....and while it was the top of the heap when I was there...it has fallen so one of my roomies is now embarrassed to say where she graduated! But, this is a small factoid about our school....NONE of our friends from our school have been divorced. NONE. Not one... so, for better or worse, even no name schools attract great kids... and can foster values that might actually make a difference in our lives. Divorce rates of graduates are not one of the statistics that schools cite.... but, in the big scheme of things, it matters. </p>
<p>I know you will be living a big life, frecklybeckly, and this is just God's way of prying you out of New Haven and giving you a taste of the big country that is the US of A. Coureur's post is telling you that Michigan can get you to London......in a truly beautiful way......the truth is that WE ALL know that you will thrive where ever you land..... and have faith that there is a bigger plan for YOU. Your voice has caught the attention of many of the best parental voices here on CC.....listen to them..... as you want folks to listen to you. What really matters you ALREADY have....which is a passion and zest for life that will not be contained. You go, girl !!</p>
<p>marmat103,
I am sorry to hear about the dilemma that your family is facing. I strongly recommend that you post about it on the parents forum (not the cafe) because there are so many wise parents there who may have some excellent suggestions for you.</p>
<p>lorelei, maineparent:</p>
<p>What beautiful posts!</p>
<p>Becky,</p>
<p>You have a very special, endearing voice as you write on this forum. Even the screen name you chose indicates you have found a way to be lovable in your role as second to the "Sun God", as cheers calls him. I can absolutely promise you that that voice will stand you in good stead. As you grow older, take it inside yourself. Make sure you feel the same fondness for yourself as you engender in others. It rubs off.</p>
<p>I don't know what you will do when you grow up - follow the music or move on to another career. But in many careers, and in the roles a lot of us have that can be even more important, community member, wife, best friend, mom, the capacity to feel and engender affection is priceless. </p>
<p>I know some professors at Umich. They were undergraduates at Yale. Their sons are going to Umich. So there you go.</p>
<p>Again, thank you to all the parents who've responded. Maineparent, what you've said is touching, and it really helps me to put things in perspective. Your support makes me feel miles better, and although I know that Michigan is a fantastic school, you've enunciated why it is fantastic for me. </p>
<p>Marmat, I am so sorry to hear about the college troubles. He clearly is an impressive individual as seen from his acceptance to UIUC. I wish him and your family this best of luck with whatever path he chooses. Good luck to your princetonian 16-year-old, as well! </p>
<p>I agree with you, editrix, that this is the essence of compassion. I can't state enough how blown away I am with all the empathy and understanding online, in this e-world. Thank you all so much. I undoubtedly will keep you all posted (and I won't disappear next year. twinmom!). If you are interested in how everything pans out eventually, feel free to PM me. Thanks again to everyone.</p>
<p>Northstarmom, thank you. I guess I should first wait until we receive all our decision and finaid letters; maybe, I am overreacting... hopefully...</p>
<p>frecklybeckly, thanks. You understand that you are quite an impressive individual youself, don't you? :) I just saw that our situation is quite similar to yours, so I just had to share...</p>
<p>Frecklybeckly,
I agree with what marmat emphasized about your being very impressive. Because you've been in the Sun God's shadow, you probably don't yet realize how very special you are -- not just because of your kind heart and ability to establish relationships with others (not every student who posts on CC gets people as emotionally attached as you have!), but because you're clearly a very intelligent, talented person. </p>
<p>Please trust me: Ordinary students do not apply to Ivies and similar schools! That's because they have no chance of admission. Just being in the applicant pool is a big deal, and getting to the waitlist is an even bigger deal. Believe it or not, when you go off to college, if you mention where you were rejected, people will be impressed by you. They won't see you as some kind of a loser.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, as a person who has lived in New England and in the Midwest, I think you are going to truly love living in the Midwest. The people are nice, down to earth and kind. I think that you'll find that the traits that make you Freckly Beckly will be embraced there. I love the Midwest! The people are my favorite in the entire country.</p>
<p>
[quote]
I think you are going to truly love living in the Midwest. The people are nice, down to earth and kind. I think that you'll find that the traits that make you Freckly Beckly will be embraced there. I love the Midwest!
[/quote]
Exactly. Well put.</p>
<p>Becky -</p>
<p>mainemom triggered this with her post, but I'll add to it. There have been a few (OK, so I'm old - there have been a LOT) of times that are forks in the path of life. Sometimes you have a choice and for whatever reasons come up (maybe including, but not limited to, your desires and perceived needs), a path is chosen and down it you go. Sometimes what you want and the external influences differ and you're forced down a path. I've had lots of those moments in life. The most interesting thing that I've found is that so many of those seem in retrospect to be exactly what SHOULD have happened. For example, there have been job interviews where I've regretted not getting the job. But not too long after, I've always been grateful that I didn't get it because it would have precluded whatever adventure I DID end up taking.</p>
<p>I don't think that there is an outside diety guiding your path and I don't think that there is a predefined destiny awaiting your path through life's maze. But I do think that we somehow end up on the right path for ourselves and later, if we had the chance to go back and take the way not taken before, we'd decline.</p>
<p>In your case, some destiny awaits - not predefined, because you'll make your own destiny. But have no doubt about it; you are on your own path.....</p>
<p>-Bob</p>
<p>ps: Remember the Garth Brooks lyric: "Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"</p>
<p>Gee Coureur--now I wish I had gone to Michigan!</p>
<p>in response to Digmedia's post.... I am not real rigid on the diety thing, I use the word God in lieu of a higher power... understanding that in many ways, we get to make choices....we get to take actions... we are responsible for our choices/actions.... but sometimes it is easier for our peace of mind to go with the flow.... and trust that things do happen for a reason.... even though we do not really understand why things turn out the way they do.... so, thank you for expanding my post so that Becky knows that not everything is as we expect... and often really great things come from the unexpected.... </p>
<p>Love the Garth Brooks lyric..... good one.....</p>
<p>Frecklybeckly: I think you will love Michigan! (I went to grad school there.) Ann Arbor is a great college town, and the campus has so much to offer. Please try not to think of it as a second class sort of thing--once you get there you will see. I think you will very glad to have a school all your own (in terms of your family).</p>
<p>A few years ago I attended a seminar (at Harvard!) and met a lovely young woman there who had graduated from Michigan just a few years prior. She loved Michigan so much that her two younger sisters both followed her there! She said that one thing about Michigan she liked best was that it was big enough to have friends in many different areas and groups. </p>
<p>After I graduated from Michigan, I was working in my first professional job in another state, which was not a good situation, but was all I could find at first. I attended my first professional conference and there met a Michigan grad who had just left her job. She went to find her old boss, pulled me out of a meeting, and within seconds, I had an interview and later got that job, which has affected the entire direction of my career. </p>
<p>I am very proud that I went there...you will be too.</p>
<p>A few things: </p>
<ol>
<li><p>I saw Ann Arbor this past weekend and LOVED it, especially the Residential College. </p></li>
<li><p>I am happy to inform you all the I have just been accepted to the UM School of Music for voice performance. I now have the option to pursue a dual degree. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>:) And I'm having a senior recital in June, if any of you are interested in attending!</p>
<p>Becky...
Congratulations! My daughter will also be a Voice Performance freshman at UM next year! She is just as happy as you seem to be about moving to Ann Arbor!</p>
<p>Many hearty congratulations, Becky! I think you might want to start a new thread, from "I am sad" to "I am taking on the world". When and where is your recital? What are you singing? With whom will you study at UM? Your audience awaits you. Happy hugs, Lorelei</p>
<p>Becky!</p>
<p>It's time to change this thread to "I am happy" -- don't you think? You will LOVE UM School of Music, and the U in general. Music school is a small program within the large U., as is the Res college...best of all worlds, I think!
D. is a soon-to-be sophomore in the dance department, and couldn't be more thrilled with this past freshman year. Good luck to you.</p>
<p>Becky,</p>
<p>Way to go at UM. Best wishes for your time there...</p>