<p>If you think this is a problem, stay away from Penn!</p>
<p>...or most colleges. Try Bob Jones.</p>
<p>How ironic that BJ would be one of the schools with the least amount of sex on campus...</p>
<p>ba-dum-chhh</p>
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How ironic that BJ would be one of the schools with the least amount of sex on campus...
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</p>
<p>How's that ironic?</p>
<p>BJ is short for a certain sexual activity. Can you think of it? (If you can't, you're very deprived.)</p>
<p>EDIT: Oh, you're 15. Now I feel semi-guilty.</p>
<p>Ha ha. I didn't get it either ( I just googled it, so now I do), so thank you, milki, for asking the question.</p>
<p>I am not against sex with significant other with whom you have relationships. I don't like the idea of CASUAL sex, as casual as drinking a cup of water, and then next day meeting your partner in the dining hall and not even saying Hi.</p>
<p>On one hand I understand how you feel. Students joking openly about causal sex is in direct opposition to what to many even in our post 60's generation considered private and special. The thought makes a lot of parents nervous. </p>
<p>But here is the thing, if your daughter attended high-school and wasn't home schooled, she already has heard the casualness w/ which some teens display their sexuality. As a HS teacher I was shocked when a student busted out her bc pills and took them in class w/ no show of modesty at all. I confiscated another girl's cell in spite of her public protestations that it was not "ringing" it was just her alarm reminding her to take her pill. Things we maybe only confided in the dark to our best girl friends are treated far more openly. I agree that it is sad. I am woefully old-fashioned in my belief that sex is an expression of love that is worth waiting for.</p>
<p>The good news is that even though many kids joke about it, not all are doing it. You know your daughter best. If she has a set of values that tells her that casual hook-ups are not her thing than she is less likely to become involved in this way. </p>
<p>I agree that it may not be the best choice for you to discount Pomona because of the article. With very few exceptions kids w/o parental supervision will be having sex wherever your daughter goes. A conversation w/ your daughter about how she will feel if her own values aren't mirrored by the college culture at large is in order though. Show her the article and ask her what she thinks. If she decides Pomona is not for her that's fine but you should use more than that article as a yard stick.</p>
<p>Good Luck!</p>
<p>I think that anyplace where 18-22 year-olds congregate, you are going to find a mixture of casual sex, meaningful sex, confused-in-between sex, and no sex. Sometimes involving the same people at different times.</p>
<p>Nothing in that article makes Pomona seem different from any college I have seen in the past 35 years, except they have a semi-unique thing called "sponsor groups" so they can have a term like "sponcest". It's probably "hallcest" or just the common "dormcest" elsewhere.</p>
<p>I suspect, by the way, that very little (if any) of the sex at Pomona or elsewhere is "as casual as drinking a cup of water", even if people like to pretend (or hope) that it is. I'm sure there are instances of meeting your partner in the dining hall the next day and not even saying "Hi", but I'm equally sure there are at least two flipping stomachs every time it happens.</p>
<p>I don't like the idea of CASUAL sex, as casual as drinking a cup of water, and then next day meeting your partner in the dining hall and not even saying Hi.</p>
<p>If sex is the same as drinking a glass of water- you are either * really* thirsty or you aren't doing it right. ;)
Not acknowledging someone you know when you see them in public is just rude- Casual sex doesn't have to include rude behavior.</p>
<p>My daughter attends private very good school. As far as I can see, all her classmates/friends are very decent people as well. My daughter is dreaming about romantic serious relationships and I am sure she will be shocked in super liberal enviroment of casual hook ups. She is a shy person, so I thought (and she agreed) that liberal arts college with personal attention would be a better choice for her. But if all liberal arts colleges (or any top academic institutions) have the same problem, we may need to look for something else. With her SAT 2350 we were linitially looking for top academic places.</p>
<p>tikib, casual sex is a choice.</p>
<p>If your daughter chooses to not engage in it, I'm sure she will be successful wherever she goes. Be it a top LAC, a big University, or even a small community college.</p>
<p>Problem? If you consider "teenagers having sex" a "problem" then you'd better send her to... I dunno, BYU? An all girls school and hope she doesn't turn lesbian? Nobody forces anyone to have sex (well... ok, but that's a totally different issue) and every school, every single one, is going to have people having sex there. Don't worry about something like this when it comes to picking a college.</p>
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BJ is short for a certain sexual activity. Can you think of it? (If you can't, you're very deprived.)
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</p>
<p>I get it now!</p>
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EDIT: Oh, you're 15. Now I feel semi-guilty.
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<p>:)</p>
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Ha ha. I didn't get it either ( I just googled it, so now I do), so thank you, milki, for asking the question.
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<p>You're welcome celloguy.</p>
<p>A True (If Old) Story About Not Saying Hi The Next Morning:</p>
<p>One night I made it back to my room about 2:30 am, about 3-1/2 sheets to the wind. I didn't bother to turn on the light, just shed most of my clothes and vaulted into my upper bunk as quietly as I could so as not to disturb my roommate. As I was lying there waiting to fall asleep, and wondering how to slow down the spinning of the bed, it slowly dawned on me that there was not one, but two people breathing in the bunk below me, and that they were awake. As I assimilated that information, one of them giggled briefly, and I realized that the one who wasn't my roommate was my best friend's not-quite-ex-girlfriend. After another five seconds of thought, I swore loudly, got out of bed (averting my eyes to preserve plausible deniability), collected my clothes and a blanket, and departed for a couch in the college library.</p>
<p>We all -- all four of us -- saw each other at brunch the next morning, as we generally did. No one said "Hi" to anyone.</p>
<p>Moral: If it had been a casual matter, we would have said "Hi".</p>
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But if all liberal arts colleges (or any top academic institutions) have the same problem, we may need to look for something else.
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it's not just top academic institutions- put a large group of young adults in close quarters and some of them are bound to let hormones take control. That isn't a problem, it's human nature. You'll see the same casual sexuality on TV, or in any high school or college. That doesn't mean everyone's a part of it, or that everyone agrees with it. You'll see kid's who don't agree with that kind of behavior in that kind of group too.
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I am sure that romantic meaningful relationships still exist just may be not at Pomona.
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not true. Pomona, like most colleges, has a diverse student body. Don't let a small but vocal group turn you off to the entire experience.</p>
<p>i'm at a "top college" right now, and I've met people who treat sex causually, people who are still waiting for the right person before their first kiss, and a whole ton of people in between. No one feels forced to change their way, though some do voluntarily.
One of the great thing about college is that you're put into a group of people from all different backgrounds, places, and belief systems. along with the knowledge you can gain in the classroom, there's a lot to learn from such a diverse group of peers. Some people will act and speak in ways you don't believe in or like, but as you can see in this board, that's what the world is like.</p>
<p>Ignoring the topic, this article -- if it is a representative sample -- makes me weep for the state of college journalism. Really, really bad article. At least it had a verb in the headline.</p>
<p>(Why, yes, I was an editor of my college paper. Why would you ask?)</p>
<p>I agree that most colleges have diverse student body. Still some have reputation of more liberal (super liberal) than the others. It probably reflects the proportion of different types of people (knowing the reputation of the college X people of particular type are get more attracted). I would like for my daughter college where she can find easily people with similar moral values, and where casual sex of others will not be right in her face.</p>
<p>Liberal Arts doesn't mean liberal in that sense. At any rate, there will be students that have similar views as your daughter (whether those views are the same as yours or not) everywhere. I'm not sure what you mean about casual sex being right in her face, but I don't forsee that being a problem much of anywhere.</p>