I am so frustrated by this. I don't know what to do.

Paying for College
1

<p>I come from a three parent family (mom, stepdad, dad) I live with my mom and stepadad. </p>

<p>My dad makes about 120,000 per year and pays around 40-50,000 in support to my mom (they have three kids together, I'm the second).</p>

<p>My mom teaches 1-2 nights a week at a college and makes only around $15,000. She used to have an intense job, but decided to quit to spend time with family. </p>

<p>My stepdad is the big problem. He works for a major corporation where he makes around 150,000 plus bonus every year. However, both him and my mom agree that I am not "his child" and so he will have no financial responsibility whatsoever when I go to college. However, his money makes it so that I am not eligible for need-based aid. I honestly get angry just thinking about it. </p>

<p>However, I need aid. My stepdad doesn't give any money to me, so my mom uses every penny of the child support and her small income to support us. Since my dad pays so much support, he really only brings home around 40-50,000 after taxes and all. The money that he used to give to my sister's child support has tranferred over to the only money she gets for college, around 15,000 a year I think. </p>

<p>My sister just went through this process and it was terrible. She ended up at a small school she hates because she got money there. I don't want the same thing to happen to me. I'm a rising junior now, and I really need advice on schools where I can get merit aid (preferably a full ride or close to it, since I am interested in medical school and dont want to be ridden with debt, possibly a BS/MD program if I can get aid there)</p>

<p>I am aiming for ivy leagues and tier ones, but I want to have 3-4 quality, lower ranked schools where I have a good chance at merit aid with around a 2250 SAT, 3.9 uw, 4.3w, research, volunteer work, a sport, four leadership positions, etc. I live in CA, but the UC system is really expensive, and would end up being out of my price range. Does anyone have advice? I realize its a little early, but I was so frustrated with the way things worked out with my sister I want to do everything in my power to make sure my hard work doesn't go to waste.</p>

2

<p>Since you’re a rising junior, I suggest studying hard for your PSAT to make NMF. That can get you a free ride at some nice schools.</p>

<p>Ivies and other elites aren’t going to likely work because they will look at all 3 incomes…which sounds like totals to about $300k per year in income (not counting SD’s bonuses) </p>

<p>Frankly, even just looking at your mom and step-dad’s income is going to create a “family contribution” that they aren’t going to pay.</p>

<p>Your mom could return to full-time work at some point to bring in more money since now you’re all older and you all won’t be around the home that much. I don’t mean to sound harsh, but it sounds like since she gets a lot in child support, she doesn’t feel the need to work as much, but when you go to college, she’ll be down to receiving support for just one child.</p>

<p>Will your dad give support money directly to you after you’re out of high school?</p>

3

<p>I am studying very hard for the PSAT. My scores have been around 220. I am in CA, which has a traditionally high cutoff but hopefully it will work out. Do you know of a list of schools that offer full rides for NM? Or should I just check individual websites?</p>

<p>I realize that just looking at my mom and stepdad’s income, or my mom and dad’s income, creates a high family contribution. Don’t worry, it doesn’t sound too harsh. I know that’s what’s going on. I wish my family didn’t run this way, but it does. I just want to do everything in my power to make sure my education is not compromised. My mom will not return to work. I’ve asked many times, even begged. She doesn’t feel the need to. My stepdad’s income supports her and my younger half-sister. they have plenty of money, go on plenty of vacations (without us), etc. It’s so frustrating, because the only reason my mom doesn’t need to work is because of my stepdad’s income. but then I don’t get any of it. But since CA does not factor his income into child support, my mom gets an absurd amount of child support, leaving my dad unable to help because of the high cost of living in the bay area with his remaining salary. </p>

<p>Yes, my dad will give the money he had been giving my mom for support directly to me for college. It will be around $12-15,000 per year. But I’m not going to get a penny from my mom or stepdad. My grandparents will also give me additional money, but only if I get into harvard (my grandpa, dad, and uncle went there).</p>

4

<p>Looking at your dad’s income, in the particular case of UCs, it looks like it won’t make much of a difference in how much aid you receive.</p>

<p>In any case, in situations like yours, the best solution is to declare yourself financially independent.</p>

<p>However, I think it’s too early for you to worry about all of this. Focus on getting into a few colleges first (regardless of financial ability), and once you have the acceptances, then go up to your parents. It’ll be much harder for your parents to say no once the plan becomes more real.</p>

5

<p>That was my original plan. I always though that once I got acceptances it would all work out. But my sister just graduated and it didn’t all work out for her. So I feel like I really need to plan it out now. I was planning to go on some college visits throughout junior year so I need a general idea of realistic schools. Brown, stanford and Georgetown have always been dreams, but they’re just unrealistic now. </p>

<p>How would I declare myself financially independent? And how would that affect my financial aid? I don’t know anything about that.</p>

6

<p>Declaring yourself financially indepdendent is not really feasible unless you really are. If you are living with your mom/stepdad and being supported, you are not financially independent.
It is a tough place to be in. You are doing the right thing by studying hard for the PSAT. The one regret I have is that I did not push my son to study more for it. He has the skills, but did not have the practice, and made errors on things he should have brushed up on. Oh well.
You are also doing the right thing by looking outside the top tier schools. Just to get ideas. Still apply if you wish, you might just get the merit aid you need. But find some strong financial and academic safeties too. There are many posts on CC about NMF scholarships and merit aid available at schools. If you want to go into medicine, look at the gov’t grants available too. Not sure what the qualifications are, and there are some committments you need to make.
Good luck to you!</p>

7

<p>@vlines about the financial independence thing, that seems right.
Hopefully I will achieve NM because it looks like it will make a big difference in my education. I am at a five week internship at a lab in thailand, but as soon as I get home I will hit study even harder. Do you know of any links to schools that offer aid for NM? I looked through this section but didn’t see any. I’ll look back farther. Is there another section of CC I should be looking in?
Where would I look for government grants? Is there a website? I have no problem making committments. I do have ECs five days a week, if its a time commitment thing, but if top tiers are out of the question anyway I can give up some of the ECs, even though I love all of them :/, to make paying for college more feasable.</p>

8

<p>I hate the search function on CC, I find it difficult to find things. But they are there. Search NMF, as well as National Merit Finalist scholarships. Start here for med school grants, and then see where this research may lead you.
[Earning</a> College Grant Money for Medical School](<a href=“http://www.collegescholarships.org/grants/medical.htm]Earning”>Earning College Grant Money for Medical School)</p>

9

<p>@vlines thanks a lot I will definitely check both those things out :)</p>

10

<p>OP, I’m sorry you are in this situation. A few thoughts …</p>

<p>1) Look into schools that only consider the FAFSA for financial aid … in these cases they will only consider your Mom’s income (which I believe will be considered abotu $60k … $15k from work and $45k from support).</p>

<p>2) As other have mentioned being a NMF can open alot of options</p>

<p>3) Investigate schools that provide merit aid … with your academics a ton of schools will offer you a lot of academic merit scholarships. Please note most the top 20 or so research universities (incluing all the IVYies) and most of the top 20 LACs do NOT offer merit aid … so to make this work Harvard might be out but there are a ton of terrific schools that do offer merit aid.</p>

<p>4) I would also suggest checking out the honors programs at state flagship campuses … even states other than your home state. My second child was offered merit money by all of the OOS state schools to which he was accepted … and since these schools started out cheaper than most private schools this made these options quite appealing financially,</p>

<p>Finally and most importantly, please sit with your Mom and Dad (no need for StepDad) and ask then what they can afford to help pay for college for you … ask them to open, frank, and realisitic … that you understand the situation is not ideal and that you will accept whatever they tell you … but you need to know so you can plan a strategy of applications and financing for your college experience.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

<p>(PS - you might also want to ask both Mom and Dad if you could live at home for free and commute during college … this savings may open up some school possibilities for you)</p>

11

<p>alwaysleah - you’re in a tough position and you’re smart to be looking into things now with a realistic approach. The good news is that you’ve been a great student and you will have some good opportunities. </p>

<p>Here’s a link to a thread started by a current college freshman - started during her senior year. <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/national-merit-scholarships/649276-nmf-scholarships-updated-compilation.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/national-merit-scholarships/649276-nmf-scholarships-updated-compilation.html&lt;/a&gt; It’s a place to start as far as looking for scholarships for National Merit Finalists (you look like you’re in good shape to be NMF - just don’t let yourself get too stressed about the test and freak yourself out and get a score lower then you’re capable of!). Some schools offer publicly guaranteed NMF scholarships (U of Alabama gives a full ride - tuition and dorm, etc), and some don’t make it automatic but seem to give many NMF a very good scholarship, including full tuition. (Northeastern and Denison pop into my mind). </p>

<p>And even without the NMF designation, you will have good opportunities for scholarship money given your test scores, grades, and experiences. Here are two other threads on CC you should read through and consider:</p>

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/848226-important-links-automatic-guaranteed-merit-scholarships.html?highlight=guaranteed+scholarships[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/848226-important-links-automatic-guaranteed-merit-scholarships.html?highlight=guaranteed+scholarships&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/291483-update-what-i-learned-about-free-ride-scholarships.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/291483-update-what-i-learned-about-free-ride-scholarships.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>You really don’t have to go to an Ivy to get a good education. You are really smart to have such a practical approach - and starting now is good. Search diligently and you will end up applying to many schools that offer a great education and have a chance of giving you money to attend. You have a whole year to look!</p>

12

<p>RE: Post #10 – I believe that the FAFSA will ask for the financial information for the OPs mom and stepdad both. [Who</a> is considered a parent?](<a href=“http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/fotw1112/help/ffdef07.htm]Who”>http://www.fafsa.ed.gov/fotw1112/help/ffdef07.htm)</p>

13

<p>[Home</a> :: Scholarship Office | The University of New Mexico](<a href=“http://scholarship.unm.edu/scholarships/undergraduate.php]Home”>http://scholarship.unm.edu/scholarships/undergraduate.php)</p>

<p>Look at the non-resident scholarships</p>

<p>FAFSA only school</p>

14

<p>@3togo my stepdad is on the FAFSA in addition to my mom. That is what makes it so difficult to get aid. Even Ivys give a lot of aid to families with income in the 135,000 range, from what I’ve heard. But my stepdad pushes our income up to above 200,000. </p>

<p>I realize that most top universities will not offer me merit aid. That’s why I’m trying to let go of those dreams now. They’re just not realistic anymore. I’ll still apply to Harvard because my grandparents will give me money if I get in there, and I may apply to Brown, Dartmouth, and Georgetown because I just love them and I want to(even though if I do get in w/o money that would be extremeley depressing). But other than that, I will only be applying to “financial safeties” where I still have a reasonable chance of getting into med school, but I won’t have too much debt. </p>

<p>My main worry with going to an OOS public flagship is that most of the other students will be in-state, and I really want to have a diversified college experience with kids from all over. I also really do not want to go to the south, and it seems like a lot of the NM scholarships happen to be there. I did see a program at both Boston University and Northeastern. I absolutely love Boston. I will look into those more. @Pinotnoir Thanks for the lists!</p>

<p>I have discussed this with my parents. I will be getting 12-15,000 per year from my dad. That’s it. I could feasibly live at home and go to Cal. The tuition would still be 13,000 and rising + books, transportation, etc. The UC website calculates total costs to be around 20,000 per year. I guess I would get some scholarships/aid and this would be possible. This is definitely a last resort. My home environment is not exactly healthy (as shown by the obvious favoritism toward my younger half sibling, among other things) and i really want to get away.</p>

15

<h1>10, #12: FAFSA will ask for the family income of the household where the student is a resident. CSS PROFILE, for those schools that require it, may also require the noncustodial parent’s income. (Not all PROFILE schools require this, but some do.)</h1>

16

<p>You have a lot of issues re: qualifying for need based aid. </p>

<p>First…that child support is listed on your FAFSA also…and it’s a lot.</p>

<p>Second…the Ivy league schools will not only want your mom’s and stepdad’s incomes, but also your dad’s.</p>

<p>Third…related to this:</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Are you saying that your mom pays 2/3rd (hers and yours) of all of the rent/mortgage, utilities, food, and any other living expenses…and that your stepdad only pays 1/3? I don’t believe it. PLUS in addition to your mom’s $15K income you also have $40k-$50K on top of that in child support.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Your mom doesn’t have to return to work because between the costs your step dad picks up, her small income, and her child support, she has a tidy sum of money. Sorry…but that is the truth.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Not wishing to sound “rough” but you already KNOW what your financial situation is going to look like because your sister went through this. There are plenty of schools that will give guaranteed scholarships to students like you…U of Alabama for one. </p>

<p>If your sister will be in college at the SAME TIME AS YOU…for those years your family contribution will be lower (close to half)…run an online finaid calculator using the institutional methodology (as you are interested in those sorts of funds) to see what you come up with. </p>

<p>Also…remember that those schools that meet full need also assess your primary home equity to a greater or lesser degree. That will have to be listed on the Proflie for schools requiring the Profile.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>NOT POSSIBLE…you will not be able to declare yourself independent for financial aid purposes UNLESS you…have a bachelors degree, are over 24 years of age, were or are a ward of the state, are an orphan, are married, have a dependent child you support, or are a veteran. If you can’t answer YES to one of these questions…you will not be able to “declare yourself financially independent”. Why do folks keep posting that as a possibility?? Especially with a student who is receiving financial support from BOTH of her parents.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>Please…listen to your family. If they have financial criteria for college costs you certainly can APPLY to some of those financial reach schools…but do so with an open mind. If the finances don’t work out…be prepared to abandon those schools even IF you get accepted. Don’t thing that your parents will pay “once the plan becomes more real”. Maybe they will and maybe they won’t…be VERY prepared for a NO answer.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>What government grants do you think are available for undergraduate college students? The only ones I know of are Pell and SEOG, and you are not eligible for either of these based on the family income you are posting here. </p>

<p>How about apply to some of the CSUs…they are a bit less costly than the UCs. Look for thread at the top of the financial aid forum that deals with guaranteed merit aid awards. And don’t worry about name recognition…worry about getting a bachelors degree…there are tons of “hidden gems” in the 3000 colleges in the U.S.</p>

17

<p>So your mom remarries and basically abandons her three kids to go on vacation with her new husband and stepkid. And lets them fend for themselves, even though she’s relatively well-off. How sad can you get? It sounds like your dad is the good guy in this very sorry situation.</p>

<p>One solution might be one of the many very good LACs that would offer very good merit aid to a student with a 2250 SAT and 3.9 GPA. Good LACs do an excellent job of preparing students for medical school. I’m not familiar with West Coast LACs, but there are tons of places in the east and midwest that would love to have you. At most eastern and midwestern LACs, the fact that you’re from California might be an initial mild curiosity, but it would certainly be no barrier to fitting in.</p>

<p>Another possibility, if you’re willing to travel three-quarters of the way across the country, might be Case Western Reserve University, in Cleveland. They have a lot of merit aid and a good BS/MD program. The BS/MD program is very competitive, but with your stats, you would be a strong candidate. University of Rochester might also be a possibility, although their BS/MD program is insanely hard to get into.</p>

18

<p>No, she doesn’t pay 2/3 of the household. She pays some, but she also pays for all the groceries, clothing, EC fees (which are pretty high at my school), vacation costs (not that we go on many of those), and she also pays for my sisters and my car (this is not a luxury, she doesnt have time to take me to my internship-about 30 minutes away, because she has to take my little sister to an intense music program she does 3 days a week at the same time. No its not necessary, but it is very important to me. My sister needed hers to get to her job). We actually just downsized (a lot) because we lost the child support for my older sister.</p>

<p>I do know what my finances will look like. Around 12-15,000 per year contributed, with little aid. However, my sister was not as strong of a student (not to be mean, but she definitely doesnt value school as much), and she didn’t put as much effort into the process. She applies to UCs, CSUs, a couple privates. She didn’t want to go out of the bay area, and she didn’t really do any research. So I don’t know a lot about this process, other than that its going to be difficult, especially because i really want to go to the Northeast and she didnt look anywhere there. Thanks for the advice about the financial calculator, I’m glad to know the financial contribution for those years will be closer to half. </p>

<p>And yes, I will listen to my family about that. I’m not going to focus on schools I can’t afford. Hence this thread. </p>

<p>I’m not familiar with grants. I asked about them so I could do further research. I fail to see the problem and need for harsh language there. </p>

<p>We don’t own a home. We used to, but it actually had major defects (we bought it new) and we had to foreclose a year ago. I don’t know a lot about this because my parents dealt with it. It really really sucked and we lost a lot of our savings into that house. Now we rent. </p>

<p>I was pretty sure declaring myself financially independent wouldn’t be possible, thanks for clarifying. </p>

<p>I really don’t want to go to a CSU. Honestly, most of them don’t require much above a 3.0 and I’ve worked really hard to be where I’m at. I know that undergrad caliber doesn’t matter that much, but I’m pretty sure it would be difficult to get into a good med school from a CSU. I’m not worried about name recognition. I’m worried about med school acceptance.</p>

19

<p>@annasdad. Look, I know it sucks. I don’t want to focus on that here. I want to focus on how I can fix things for myself. </p>

<p>thanks for the suggested schools. I will look into them.</p>

20

<p>You are clearly not only a very intelligent and accomplished student, but from your postings here about a tough situation not of your making and your efforts to overcome it, also an exceptionally mature young person. I admire you. Things will work out. Best of luck.</p>