I am the world's worst parent

OP, this isn’t just towards you. It’s a response to multiple comments here:

If you don’t trust your child enough to give them a credit card to pay for one thing, you have some serious parenting to do. I mean, seriously? You can’t give a 15 year old a credit card without them going on a tangent and using it to purchase other things? Is that a joke?

@Madison85 It’s not mean spirited. For future reference, take off the training wheels and let the kid do it by himself. He can’t learn how to do it in the future if his mommy is. Registering is a cake walk.

@calicash no offense, but parenting advice from a 18 year old is never well received whether you are right or not. Your phrasing above does come across as mean spirited.

CaliCash - I think you should stay with the high school forum. We got it covered here. As I remember, you and your parents had a lot of misunderstanding going on there.

@gettingschooled None taken. It’s not my fault if someone disregards good advice just because it comes from someone who is younger. If you wanna do something that is unwise, that’s on you lol. Are you saying that if an adult gives bad advice, it’s better to follow that than the good advice of an 18 year old? That makes no sense at all. But to each, his own. Mean spirited? That was never my intention. I’m being blunt. Why beat around the bush?

@CaliCash - you have no clue. When you started your thread about which school you should go to, I believe most parents were very supportive and gave you very sound advice. We could have been mean and given you some “blunt advice,” but we didn’t. If you want to continue to come on to the Parent Forum to seek advice in the future, which I am sure you are going to, I would suggest for you to be a bit more mature on this forum.

lauriejigs - take him to gamestop and whip out the credit card - lets be practical here :slight_smile:

A few of the discussions here reminds me of a recent discussion with a few of my coworkers (who are in the mid-to-late 20s, well past college years.) They are new immigrants, i.e., they grew up from another culture which could be quite different from the main stream culture here.

Most of them are extremely close to their parents. In fact, they call their parents EVERY EVENING. (I have talked to five of them and all of them told me the same: a lot of interactions between two generations.) Their parents had lots of helicoptering in many aspects of their lives, well into their 20s. I noticed most of them take this “over-involvement from parents” (which I admit I myself could not tolerate) for granted and do not mind about the seemingly “overly-intrusive” parenting at all. This involvement could even extend to the area of the selection of their future mates! When I show a little bit sign of “shall you become more independent of your parents because you have now grown up?”, two of them immediately jump to some kind of “defense” of the virtue of their family structure of keeping an extremely close relationship with their parents till much later than most people would do here.

I also read somewhere that their parents tend to want their children to fully concentrate on schooling potentially at the expense of most other life skills, including full financial support in college and beyond as long as their parents are still capable of doing so. The end result of this extremely long time “team work” is that, on average, they tend to take a better paid (“practical”) job when they graduate from college or grad/professional school. (I read from another source that, among all ethnic groups, their income is the highest.) To be sure, some of their offsprings may not want to follow their old way and it could cause some conflicts between generations. But the majority of them seem to happily keep this “tradition”.

This is just my observation. I do not claim their parenting style is better or worse. No judgment here. (Disclaimer: I am not of that ethnic group. But many of my coworkers, especially in recent 5 years after I had moved to the coast, are of that ethnic group. I become curious about this topic mostly because I think many of my child’s future coworkers will likely be from that ethnic group. Actually, when my child was in college, in his suite of 4 years, the only other student who was willing to stay on the same “track” is of that ethnic group. All others were either 1) they were not into it from the beginning, or 2) they dropped out of this (mostly not because of academic capability – mostly because other career path, like finance, quickly became more appealing to them.)

mcat2- I KNOW you are not working with my son!

We have a 1 in 10 chance of talking with our son- ie try ten times before we get him … I couldn’t be a helicopter parent as too darned independent (like his parents) kid wouldn’t let me.

About the ethnic groups- H and I come from vastly different ones. We see differences in communication styles/frequency with our siblings and their kids. Immigrants vs introverted mainstream. All with very American Midwestern raised children. Interesting how families’ ways of communicating vary based on backgrounds and personalities.

Sorry but I also find the comments about the credit card extremely odd. Of course I trust my kids. If you don’t what do you do–lock your wallet in a safe every night? Shred every receipt lying around the house? If you kid wants to steal from you then they can easily do that and you have way bigger problems than scheduling college entrance exams.

The reason I usually don’t hand my card to my kids is not because I don’t trust them with the number. I don’t trust them to give it back promptly or not to lose it before I get it back.

OP here. I see my job as a parent as one where I enable my children to succeed. This does not mean I take tests for them. However, it does mean that I sign them up for things and ensure that they get from Point A to Point B. That is my job, to create an environment in which they can do their best.

As for the credit card, both of my kids have my CC info. I trust them completely. It was just easier for me to do the signing up because my son was studying and I know my CC number by heart and I had the sign-up done in five minutes. In hindsight, perhaps I was a little too hasty.

I second the notion that it might be best to take the Bio SAT after AP Biology. Though you may think that it’s best to space the Subject Tests out and take them as soon as the subject is completed, the Subject Tests scores and percentiles will reflect the higher preparation levels of test takers who are waiting until Junior year and/or completion of AP Biology. It so happens that my D took her Bio SAT right after Honors Bio in 9th Grade and did OK (720), but after she took AP Bio in 11th Grade, she decided to retake (ugh) and missed a perfect score by 1 question or something. I think she should have just waited, but I have the benefit also of hindsight.

TBH, preparation is best and she ended up much preferring the ACT, which most colleges will accept in lieu of the SAT + 2 Subject Tests.

Is he interested in STEM? If not, then he doesn’t really need a science test. If so, then he may want to think about taking one in an area he does AP work. Also, if engineering is a possibility, schools may want chemistry/physics. Check requirements.

If your student doesn’t have a credit card how do they shop for clothing, school supplies, etc? Do you just give them an envelope full of cash?
Most banks offer high school and college accounts with low spending limits.

@MaterS you think everyone just drops off their 15 year old at the mall with a credit card? In those years I would shop with my kids. They couldn’t drive anyway. I wanted to shop with them to make sure they were buying appropriate clothes for certain things. If they wanted cool jeans that I wouldn’t pay for then they could pay the difference. It was a learning experience on both ends and a way to spend time together.

My thoughts exactly. (My husband jokes that he doesn’t know how to make travel reservations since I do it for the family all the time). It’s a simple form, what’s wrong for helping out a kid busy with homework by filling out the form for her/him?

Yup so was a lot of other paperwork, that’s why I didn’t find it necessary to make my kids do it. I know they could do it if they had too, so no “learning experience” was lost.

But, anything I filled out of any importance was double checked by my kid. :slight_smile:

No, I give them cash and they put it in their wallet. Yes, we use cash! It’s called being on a budget.

Lose the condescending smug voice and you may gain more respect. Taking advice from someone younger isn’t hard, but listening to a sarcastic know-it-all whose own thread showed non communication issues between child and parents? Not likely.

After yesterday’s purported timing fiasco, I bet a lot of parents/students are wishing they had messed up their SAT registration.

Touche @ClaremontMom. It’s not like they were sent to an ‘all you can eat’ buffet. They had a budget and a shopping list. It’s simply having one person doing a one person job.

I realize some people like shopping. I’d rather have a root canal.

I often shopped with my girls when they were in high school. It wasn’t always my favorite thing to do, but I viewed it as part of their upbringing. They learned their sense of style from me.