Sigh..educated another parent

<p>I was talking with another parent from our public school. He son is a junior and hasn't taken the ACt or the SAT yet. She mentioned that yes, he was going to take it in May but she needed to call the school so he could sign up. She was going to take it at a neighboring school because our school you had to call them a month ahead of time. ????? </p>

<p>So, I told her that you register online and gave her the address. I then called a friend in ps and confirmed that they had to do that as well. ( We homeschool, so I wasn't sure.) I told her that he had already missed the deadline for the May test, but she might be able to do late registration or standby with an extra fee. </p>

<p>Then we talked about how to prepare for it. "But doesn't the school prepare them for it??" NOOOO!!! Sigh. </p>

<p>I then asked if she had looked for scholarships. "Well, the counselors are supposed to guide them through all that. They take care of everything..." Sigh.. I told her that I looked on the high school website and the counselors list all of the scholarships. Most of them are those national ones that you have a very, very, very small chance to get. I then told her that she needed to be careful because financial aid at the colleges tend to consist of a TON of loans. </p>

<p>So first they need to decide what an affordable number is. Then she needs to go and print off the requirements for each school they are looking at as well as deadlines. She needs to go to the scholarship page and print off deadlines and such for those. The schools she is wanting him to look at like Stephen F Austin and UT Tyler may very well give him a scholarship if he can get a decent score on the ACT/SAT. That may be a question since 50 percent of our kids have to take remedial courses at the local cc. </p>

<p>She was asking me so many questions. She was completely clueless. </p>

<p>I am talking to every single parent at our church and finding similar levels of cluelessness. They expect the school to do it all and advise them every step of the way. I guess as a homeschooling mom, I AM the counselor and college advisor...</p>

<p>I have had similar conversations with parents. It makes me tired, and sad. At least in our area, the counselors have hundreds of students assigned to them, they mostly focus on requirements for graduating high school, and the GC’s statements for college apps. They send emails or post information on the school website, but it’s up to the parents to do something with the information. One of D’s friends applied to 3 'lottery" schools and is shocked that he didn’t get admitted. Bright kid, excellent stats, but clearly lacking basic information.</p>

<p>Well, our school does prep for the ACT. They will also assist those that need help registering for the tests. They meet with all the kids in groups and individually about scholarship opportunities available, they work with the kids on college research, etc. as well. They have at least 4 presentations during the school year, grade appropriate, for parents for college planning and you are able to schedule meetings with the GC if you need more individual help. For the “clueless” parent there is more than enough help to navigate the process. A lot of people haven’t done this before, they didn’t attend college, etc. I am sure you were an expert from day one and just “knew” all of this instinctively too?</p>

<p>We have to literally bring apications for small colleges for my kids’ bf’s. They and their parents were considering only big guns: Ivies Hopkins, etc. this kids were rejected everywhere but SUNY and ended up attending the schools we visited and dragged home applications from: Bard (D’s friend) and Bates (S’s friend.)</p>

<p>I am sure there are many public systems that don’t start this process with college bound kids until fall of the senior year. Generally public schools are aware of the timetables and needs of the public (and to some extent privates) that are regional to the high school location. Some do have a parent meeting in the spring of junior year. Many college bound kids are headed for colleges in the state system, take their tests in the fall of senior year and somehow manage to get their apps in. Some states mandate testing for all students so for those states the kids do take their ACT or whatever in spring of junior year at the school and it is automatic. Many local scholarships don’t have application deadlines until winter or early spring of the student’s senior year. The process only has to be as complicated as a family wants it do be and can vary state to state. I do think it’s important and I would advocate for parents to start the process junior year mostly because of EA and rolling admission for states that have competitive flagships but all is not lost for parents that don’t begin until August or September of senior year. The key is to help “new” parents without creating anxiety over a process that doesn’t have to be angst ridden.</p>

<p>My close friend sent her DD to one of the top boarding schools in the country, and the college counselor there,who is quoited on occasion on college prep matters in national media, did a horrible job in helping her. My friend felt that what she was paying in the school, not to mention the assurances they were getting, meant that the school was doing a great job in getting the kids to the next level. Absolutely not. I ran into the same situation with my kids and private prep schools. Yes, you might be lucky and get a gem of a counselor who knows the stuff and will give the time to your kid, but you and your kid had better be on top of every bit of the process and learn the ropes as well. The exact quote was, “Let us gatekeep for you”, from one high school counselor, who made so many mistakes and was misinformed and misinformed the kids on so many things. You gotta do your own research and learn the paths available for your kid and the kid should be learning them too.</p>

<p>The absolute best advice for a novice junior parent is to figure out what they can afford and to articulate their personal expectations to the kiddo. That alone will guide the rest of the process. Depending on the school system kids get some funny “notions” in their heads. Public school Guidance counselors are not in the business of “figuring out” what little Suzy can actually afford.</p>

<p>Most non-prep schools or average public schools only get the basic information out there. It really is up to the student and parent/s to gather the information on the types of schools that are appropriate for the student’s talents. Talking to other parents, the counselors, visiting schools and/or their websites, coming to sites like this one etc is what needs to be done and some families just don’t get that info. . .</p>

<p>Truth be told, we didn’t know how competitive our D’s talents were until she received a a packet from Carnegie Mellon to attend their Summer Academy for Science and Mathematics winter of her sophmore year. She applied and was accepted and THAT changed the game for us. Once she was around peers that had higher aspirations for college and she gained confidence that she could handle the work/load my wife and I as parents knew we had to step our “game up,” so-to-speak, and we began learning the steps of making sure we knew everything there was to know about the application process and the types of schools that would be available to her. We now have a few parents in our S’s(he is a rising HS freshman) circle asking for advice and we’re more-than-happy to share. Both my wife and I are college grads and we would have gotten around to the process eventually but even we had to learn that the earlier you start the “search,” the better chance your student has at attending the school they want to. . .</p>

<p>Frankly, I think that the CCers here are a very small minority of the number of students applying to colleges. From all the posts here one gets a pretty skewed sense of what the world is like out there.</p>

<p>If you are applying to the top schools, then all of this madness makes sense. But most kids will end up at a decent school without all this prep work, worrying about ECs, etc.</p>

<p>The world has changed significantly from when I applied many years ago, but somehow I ended up OK. I think the kids of today will be fine too without spending their entire middle school and high school years worrying about what college they will get into.</p>

<p>The CC forum has been so helpful to me and I love it, but I do know that my kids are not the prototypical CC kid, and none of their friends are either. But we go to a public school in a middle class area where most kids either go to a community college or to one of the UCs.</p>

<p>At the top boarding school where I was a counselor, all we’re top quality. Most had been on top college admissions committees. But many parents were unrealistic about where their kids could get in and how much the school could help.</p>

<p>Most of the public schools around here do an excellent job offering college admittance help to students. I hear more complaints from the private school families because they simply don’t have the vast resources the public schools have here. Given that most kids around here don’t just slide into a state directional lends me to believe that they and/or their parents are well educated on the process.</p>

<p>Waverly–I have to agree with you–parents are usually the biggest roadblock for kids getting into the “right” schools, meaning the schools where they fit academically, socially, financially, etc. Everyone, and rightly so, thinks their child is the best, but you do have to look at things realistically and realize that the sweatshirt your child is wearing is due to THEIR efforts not your parenting skills.</p>

<p>I’m glad I ran into your post. I have become hooked on CC and am learning so much! The next layer of info I am learning about now is testing. My D is a freshman and is gearing up for her first AP test in a couple weeks (Euro history). I have been reading about the PSAT and the SAT. I hadn’t realized that it is the PSAT that can qualify students for national merit…so I need to learn more about that possibility, and I am reading that maybe it would be wise for her to take the PSAT early (next yr) has a prep for the next yr. SO…how (and when) DO you sign up for these tests?</p>

<p>I am sure you were an expert from day one and just “knew” all of this instinctively too? </p>

<p>No, and that is my point. I didn’t know anything, but started figuring it out. I didn’t rely on anyone to do anything FOR me. They are my children and MY responsibility. If they don’t get in, then “I” have failed. I guess it is just mind boggling to me that everyone has the idea that the school will do it all for them and give them the information they need. If they do whatever the school/counselor says, then they will be fine.</p>

<p>

At both S and D’s school they gave the PSAT practice sophomore year and the PSAT junior year without anything from us other than a check $. I would suggest calling or emailing your D’s counselor and asking what the policy is. As for preparation, that’s really up to you and shoboeD :)</p>

<p>Schools differ with regard to AP and PSAT so make friends with the guidance office. Our school does not administer the PSAT to sophomores…only juniors and only juniors who sign up for it. In our school kids aren’t allowed to take AP classes as freshmen but all kids must take the AP test if they take the class (and parents pay for that although there are funds for low income)…so there is no common wisdom for the trajectory of testing within schools across the nation. Generally schools DO TELL kids, through daily announcements, etc. but if you don’t have a kid that tells you what is going on then you need to insert yourself into the knowledge loop either by reading the announcements (if they are on-line) or subscribing to a parent e-mail list if the school has such a thing.</p>

<p>It’s been my experience through life that one generally has to take charge of such projects oneself. No GC has time to ferret out good schools for every student, arrange visits, figure out finances, yada, yada. </p>

<p>Even now, when S says he is going to meet with his advisor to discuss next semester’s courses, he and I sit down with the course offerings and compile a list of classes he thinks will be interesting and fulfill the assorted requirements of core/major/minor, etc. When he meets with the advisor, it’s just “ok, looks good to me”.</p>

<p>^^ @momknowsbest3 agreed. This also applies somewhat to college as well. While our children are growing into becoming responsible adults, they, nor we as parents, can relie on the colleges to help walk our kids thru all that must by signed, attended, covered etc. Most colleges will have a great deal to offer by it’s on the students to take advantage and therefore up to parents to make sure that if they have the kind of student that will not actively take advantage of college services to make sure they’re at least made aware of them. I’m not advocating “butting in,” but what I’m saying is know your student and when they need someone to help guide them to seek help or information.</p>

<p>Yes, the PSAT is administered by the school here. It will vary by school. Here, all juniors automatically take it, but a limited number of sophomores can pay to take it also.</p>

<p>With counselors in many public schools facing student loads of 325-450 kids each, there often isn’t a lot of time for hand-holding. Our school used some software to track what percentage of recipients opened the school’s monthly newsletter and clicked on at least one article, and the rate was under fifty percent. Did the other fifty percent ever learn about various “getting ready for college” talks? Information about financial aid? Deadlines? </p>

<p>It is a challenge.</p>