I am very lazy. Need advice/HELP.

Student Lounge College Life
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<p>I have a problem: I AM VERY LAZY. I'm 18 years old (19 in December), currently in my first semester at a community college and taking only 3 classes. I dropped my 4th one because I disliked the professor and math isn't my strongest subject so I wanted a professor who could at least understand that and not yell/embarrass me in front of the class. </p>

<p>My schedule is very manageable and easy, I think.</p>

<p>M: 9-11:50 A.M
T/TH: 11-12:15/1-2:40 P.M</p>

<p>In the beginning of the semester in January, I never missed class. My problem isn't within the class itself, in fact, I enjoy all my classes and professors. I do all my classwork, homework, papers, etc. and I participate a lot (I like to talk). My problem is GOING TO CLASS. As the days, weeks, months pass, I become more disinterested in school. I am not in any clubs and don't participate in extracurricular activities at my cc. </p>

<p>I DO however, work part-time at a library located 45 minutes away from my house by bus. I've only been working there for about a month now but I've never been late or missed work. I work 3 days a week 8:30 A.M - 4:30 P.M / 12-5 P.M. I LOVE working, even if it's in a library and I do pretty much the same things I did the last time. </p>

<p>I just can't understand why I can't go to class when I go to work with no problems. </p>

<p>What do you people think? How do I go about changing my ways/attitude? I very much wish to be able to attend a 4-year school in the future; I DON'T ENJOY THE CC ENVIRONMENT. I DON'T WANT TO BE A TOTAL FAILURE.</p>

<p>If you could share tips/advice/stories/etc... THANK YOU.<3</p>

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<p>Why are you going to college? What is your incentive to attend class? Is it simply to keep your grades up? Is it parental pressure? Sometimes you get lazy on things that you have no real ambition for. I failed my first year of college because I was going simply to appease my parents without having a game plan of my own. I never really was motivated to attend class, study, and get involved until I had an individual goal and solid reason as to why I wanted to attended college. It helped me get out of my “lazy” state.</p>

<p>Maybe that’s why you enjoy working. Maybe you get more out of it simply because your reasons for working are on a higher priority for you, which is why it makes it easy to attend regularly.</p>

<p>I think what would help you get out of your laziness is if you had a realistic goal you could see yourself achieving in school. If there is a degree you want bad enough, going to class will seem less of a chore. Motivation is key to success :)</p>

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<p>Community colleges require general education to be completed first, and general education is boring for a lot of students.</p>

<p>Just pick a major you like and mix the pre-reqs up with your regular schedule. You sound more bored than lazy.</p>

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<p>you have to sit down and think about your goals and about where you want to be</p>

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<p>Do you have any four year schools in mind yet? If you don’t, definitely research now - if you have a goal in mind, it’s so much easier to go to class because you’ll actually feel like you’re working towards something. You should also take more classes - 5 is a good amount, especially since you don’t work much. Having more classes will force you to be more organized, trust me! I did better when I had 6 classes than when I had 4 because I had to manage my time better between school and work.</p>

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<p>‘Friend’ an upperclassman at Drexel University or Northeastern University. Both these schools are big in cooperative education (meaning work study). Typically you go to a full time job six months of the year and then study the remaining six months. </p>

<p>I was a freshman at NU with no real purpose in college other than that’s what everyone else I knew was doing. My freshman grades stunk. I’d have trouble moving from one page to another in my textbooks. It was awful. Then came my first work assignment and everything changed. All of a sudden, I could see a purpose for what I was studying. To say that my grades turned around would be an understatement. </p>

<p>Good luck.</p>

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<p>I honestly don’t think you want it enough. I can understand where you’re coming from and that you’re disinterested, but I’m getting the impression that you feel (maybe subconsciously) that if you don’t go to class and get involved at your CC, you can block out the fact that you’re at a CC in the first place. It’s totally acceptable that you want to be at a 4-year school, and I’m sure you’d be able to get more involved and be more encouraged to go to class at a 4-year school (especially when living on campus, having friends that are in your classes and live with you, being part of a community). You just have to have it in the back of your mind that you’ll never get there if you don’t haul @ss and get it together now.</p>

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<p>THANKS so much for replying guys!</p>

<p>@Vehicle: Why am I going to college? Let me just say that I am Chinese-American and my parents (divorced) are immigrants who grew up with nothing and just want me to get the best education I can so I can make as much money as I can. I personally don’t feel like school is about getting a degree so you can be rich. I want to LEARN, to meet new people from different cultures, etc., go to pep rallies and have school spirit,… I guess as of now I don’t have a individual goal, except to just pass the classes that I am taking… and I honestly don’t feel like I will simply because I’ve been absent too many times. (10x or more) I like working because I like my co-workers and my bosses (I have 2) and they like me back as well. I know what is expected of me as soon as I clock in and I have this enormous fear of disappointing/failing so I do anything that my boss tells me to do. Plus I guess since I’m not exactly from a rich family, earning my own money is rewarding to me.</p>

<p>@LogicWarrior: I am a Political Science major… I am very interested in government, law, interest groups… working in an office I guess. But I’ve always felt like I’m not good enough to be or do those things and my dreams has always been in advertising. I can’t draw at all but I love advertising… the witty slogans and product placement really… excite me? In high school, I always felt bored by classes that I didn’t want to take/forced, and generally, seemde stupid to me such as: Gym (I’m not fat and exercise daily), Math (horrible at it and honestly don’t feel like I will be using it very much in the future), etc…
and therefore I cut school A LOT. And since you’ve brought it up, it IS starting to feel a bit boring. My cc has only a few classes for Political Science majors and I am taking two right now that interest me: American Government & American Foreign Policy. </p>

<p>@lebronfor2008mvp: I think I need some counseling or something…</p>

<p>@thatsthekey: I’ve thought of going to SUNY Albany since 10th grade. I just looked it up online, did some research, saw some pictures and videos, talked to an alum (one of my teachers), visited about twice and really want to go there. And I like their colors too. I like the whole study hard/party hard feel and it’s far enough for me to dorm but also to visit my family and friends on the weekends if I wanted to. Plus it’s in-state and is NY’s capital so I’m pretty sure there are lots of government related jobs/internships there. Other schools I’ve looked at are the other SUNY’s (mainly UBuffalo [3 cousins graduated from there] and Stony Brook [a 4th cousin graduated from there]. I’m really just not interested in that many schools in New York. I don’t want to be in Manhattan because I know I won’t be able to dorm and I don’t want to commute 1 1/2 hours everyday. I don’t want to go somewhere all the way upstate that it’ll take me more than 4 hours to drive (that’s why Buffalo is pretty much a no-no for me; it’s 8hrs drive away). I REALLY would LOVE to go to school out-of-state but my family is poor and I don’t think they could afford it without taking out loans, borrowing from relatives, etc. which I don’t want to happen because they already have loans… My mom lives in Yuba City, California (just past Sacramento) and she is actually a lot more well off then my father… she wanted me to move to California so I could be with her, and I was considering it because I wanted to experience something new and plus, California has a wealth of great schools… & I’ve already registered for the fall semester (hopefully I pass <em>this</em> semester). My schedule is almost 4x more packed, but I am only taking 4 classes. My advisor recommended me not to take more than 4 because of my tendency to become lazy and cut class… thus failing…</p>

<p>@ctyankee: I like the idea of cooperative education but Drexel & NU are private schools. I don’t think my family can afford that and I’m not sure if taking out loans is a good thing. And they are out of state as well, so that would require more money, wouldn’t it?</p>

<p>@SomethingWitty: Thank you for your honesty. I do feel like that since I’m in a cc, I’ve failed. Not just myself, but my family. I’ve felt a lot of pressure growing up to attend a great college and make money but in reality, my family never showed me how I should go about obtaining those things. They just lectured me. My dad never attended a PTA meeting, ask me what I’m learning in class- just if I’m passing, never encourage me to do extracurricular activities, etc. I’m not blaming him or anybody except myself but I wish my family showed they cared more about me. I know I have to haul @ss, I just wish for more support and maybe someone motivating me when I can’t myself. :(</p>

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<p>You could drop out join the military or work some living wage type jobs for a few years then come back when youre more mature. Thats what I did, and will be tranferring next fall to a school that alot of my HS friends got rejected from. Some of us just arent meant to go to college right out of HS.</p>

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<p>Sometimes those times in life when you feel as if you’re failing are the times when you’re opening yourself up to other possibilities–it seems as if there’s some meaning to why you aren’t doing well, when you’re obviously a very intelligent person. It does seem as if counseling could help. Not necessarily to go into your past life (though there’s nothing wrong with that), but to help you understand where you are and help you get some direction. If you do want to go to therapy, it might be that cognitive/behavioral therapy might get you quicker results than traditional therapy. In any case, good luck!</p>

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<p>@msc261: I know you’re just trying to help but that is absolutely NOT going to happen. I don’t envision myself ever going to boot camp, having to wake up at 5 a.m every morning, etc. and I definitely could not tolerate another person yelling at my face if I didn’t say “Sir” or “Ma’am” or speak when I’m not supposed to. I am also very against working (even though I enjoy it) all the time because I’m only 18 years old and I want to be able to enjoy college life. I want to experience as much as I can “while I’m still young” and be able to grow as a person while in college. I don’t think that is immature and I don’t think I AM immature. </p>

<p>@Endicott: Thank you for saying I’m a “very intelligent person” but how did you come to that answer? I’ve actually had many past teachers tell me that I’m smart and if I wasn’t so lazy, I would do better. I think cognitive behavioral therapy is a good idea (changing my attitude, self-help) but just the thought of having to go to therapy is… embarrassing(?) to me… now it sounds like I’m really narcissistic…lol</p>

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<p>if you have the motivation to type out detailed responses to every post, then you definitely have the motivation to do what you want to do.</p>

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<p>Thats why you can get a job now that pays the bills, and you can go at out party and enjoy your youth without having to worry about failing a test monday morning. Then when youre 20-21 (still young) you can go back to school. Plenty of people do that. I never called you immature but as an 18 year old you still have alot of maturing to do, its just the truth. I was a very mature 18 year old my self, now at 24 with six years of adulthood under my belt Ive matured even more, and Im sure the 30 year old version of me will be much more maturer than what I am right now. FWIW boot camp is a joke.</p>

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<p>No seriously, msc61 brought up a good choice. Its hard imagining yourself in the military right now, its hard for anyone to think that when they havent experienced it. There is so much more than the mam’s and sir’s. Being in the military really changes people in a good way, people become more responsible and so much more. You cant imagine yourself there, but do you think it will help you get somewhere in the future? Plus it might bring some benefits later when you apply to other jobs. And also, you said you were interested in American gov. and foreign policy. That goes well with being in the military! Its more or less related, at least more than the military and, say, art.</p>

<p>If you continue to take classes, youll just keep on being lazy, right? And in this kind of economy where people with degrees are getting laid off or rejected from a poisition, do you think anyone will hire people with a high school degree?
Can you think of other ways to make you “unlazy”?</p>

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<p>Get to class for the next few weeks and pass. No Skipping. Try to talk to the professors and see what you can do about your grades.<br>
You said you signed up for the next semester. When those classes start, make at least one friend in each. At the end of each class, say see you next class. Now you’ve made a commitment to someone other than yourself. Don’t let them down. Go for coffee or study with a few people from class. That will make you become a bit more involved.</p>

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<p>Don’t join the military. You’re likely to lose a leg, get PTSD, or just be a really cynical ■■■■■■■ (the last is by far the most common)</p>

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<p>no, no, NO to joining the military. I know that there are benefits, etc… but NO. I’m just not going to put myself in a position where I’ll be far away from my family and friends, get brainwashed, get shot… and other horrible things that I’ll just keep saying no to the military. </p>

<p>I understand being 20-21 is still young but I would like to “grow up” with my friends… and none of them are planning or joining the military. </p>

<p>@Yankee Belle: That’s a really good idea, thanks! I guess I’ll just find someone who looks interesting and try to befriend them lol.</p>

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<p>Magachu, it just seems as if you’re searching for something, questioning things in a deep way. Here’s one book suggestion for you: The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck. A little too Christian-y for me in certain parts (not my religion), but overall, a very thoughtful book about digging deep in those questioning moments.</p>

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<p>One thing that works for me is to make a big deal out of every small thing I do. For instance, if I don’t want to send an e-mail and I send it, I spend a second feeling really good about it. </p>

<p>Also, w.r.t. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, I’d suggest you get a book called Feeling Good by David Burns, a professor of psychology at Stanford (or U Penn, I forget which). It lists some exercises that you can do on your own.</p>

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<p>magachu,</p>

<p>Agreed. Private schools given cost issues would be a poor idea. </p>

<p>I have no other suggestions other than to tell you that you have not failed. Sure college is important but if those four years are someone’s high point, they did it wrong. There are plenty of opportunities to hit your stride, college is just one of them.</p>