i cheated

Pre-College Issues High School Life
221

<p>Erato - I understand that this feels like the end of the world. Obviously, you shouldn't have cheated, but you know that and it's completely reasonable for someone your age to be allowed one big mistake. Even if your teachers for some reason don't forgive and refuse to give you your recs, the world is not over. You could opt not to go to college for this next year and get a job instead, to prove that your dishonesty was a one-time event and gain a new letter of recommendation. You could go to community college for a year and be the shining star to get their letters of recommendation. You could send a letter to all the colleges you applied to, honestly explaining what happened. Perhaps the teachers will be willing to write your letters, while adding that you recently had a cheating incident but it was a completely one-time event. You would still get into a state school at least, and who knows? You might like it better than any of those Ivies.</p>

<p>Even if the OP is making it up, who cares? There are kids who have a similar situation and might be reading this, so they'll take the advice that the OP should be using.</p>

222

<p>NSM, my point was that you can only say "everyone cheats" if you use a ridiculously liberal definition of "cheating." Many students are completely honest, in that they do their own work and are reasonable about how much help they get from their classmates, and never look at someone else's work in exams. I'm pretty sure <em>most</em> students (by a large margin) don't engage in acts as serious as stealing a test - even among those who frequently engage in less serious forms of cheating. In this thread I have seen many posters claim that "everyone cheats" but I haven't seen a single one show that "everyone steals tests or worse."</p>

223

<p>Perplexitudinous,
I totally agree. Thanks for the clarification.</p>

<p>I'm also sick of reading posts claiming that everyone cheats. Many people don't cheat. Many people don't think that cheating is OK. IMO, it's only cheaters who think that everyone cheats. That's because cheaters' friends are also cheaters.</p>

224

<p>BTW-
Erato is NOT applying to college, he is only 15 and is applying to boarding school. Boarding schools require teacher recommendations from the current math and english teacher along with another recommendation from the guidance counselor. Because they are building a small, family-like community, they take cheating and stealing VERY seriously.</p>

<p>It is not the end of the world for Erato and he has time on his side. He has an opportunity to turn this around and learn a life's lesson that will serve him well in high school, college, and beyond. </p>

<p>Cheating and stealing are serious infractions and Erato is well aware of it, unlike many of you who've left disturbing posts. Erato needs the counsel of adults. He's on his way to fixing this mess.</p>

<p>This message is not for Erato, but for all of you ambitious kids explaining away your own cowardly weaknesses by saying that everyone cheats. Well, they don't and you are fooling yourselves. In your heart you will always know that you didn't earn the grades and that your actions were shameful. It doesn't matter that you didn't get caught. You will always know and you can't rationalize it away. It's time to grow up and respect yourself and your fellow students.</p>

<p>Erato, good luck to you. Use your head and follow your heart. The adults in your life will support you, but you need to earn back their respect. Don't underestimate your own potential or others' potential for forgiveness. Stay on the high road and you'll be fine.</p>

225

<p>"Cheating and stealing are serious infractions and Erato is well aware of it, unlike many of you who've left disturbing posts. Erato needs the counsel of adults. He's on his way to fixing this mess."</p>

<p>Unless I've missed some posts in this long thread, Erato isn't on his way to fixing the mess that he made. Instead of telling the truth when he was caught, instead he lied and said that he bought the test from some student. Consequently, the school now is expecting him to help identify the thief when the thief actually is Erato.</p>

<p>He has dug a deeper hole for himself, and from what I've seen, he also seems to think that pressure is an excuse for cheating, and the only thing bad about what he did was that he got caught.</p>

<p>I fear that if he continues to follow his heart instead of the good advice that many here have posted, he'll just get into deeper trouble.</p>

226

<p>NSMom-
I'm assuming (I hope not incorrectly) from Erato's apparent genuine dismay and remorse that he plans to fess up completely and not continue with new lies to cover up old lies.</p>

<p>He seems genuinely disturbed by his errors to this point and my money's on him to end this nightmare of his own creation!</p>

<p>Erato, make my leap of faith your reality!</p>

227

<p>Erato has not returned to the thread, so we have no way of knowing how he handled his problem. I hope he does return, if for no other reason than to share with others how he handled it, what the consequences were, and how he plans to move forward.</p>

228

<p>
[quote]
He has dug a deeper hole for himself, and from what I've seen, he also seems to think that pressure is an excuse for cheating, and the only thing bad about what he did was that he got caught.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Plus the fact that s/he seems much more concerned about those teacher recommendations than the problem itself. I have to wonder whether Erato would've remorseful as s/he is now if the recommendations were already sent...</p>

229

<p>Yep: The only solution for Erato is to forget about anything other than a sincere apology and completely owning up to the situation without excuse. People will sense if you hedge an apology with an excuse, no matter how obliquely done. The only thing to say is: "what I did was wrong. I did it. I used poor judgement. This is a tough lesson I'll remember through my life, I am sure. I'll never do something like this again." And really mean it. And then the situation will turn around eventually if he takes the high road, as someone said...</p>

230

<p>Thank the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit you aren't applying to college...if you are still in high school you have a chance to apply to a different school, and then if you get into that school the colleges won't see that you cheated.</p>

<p>But you are SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, SO, STUPID!</p>

<p>You idiot!</p>

<p>You don't even know how to freaking cheat! You are a disgrace to all people that genuinely study for their exams!</p>

<p>You should take that sorry ass back to the 1950's where they would have smacked you upside the head with a ruler for cheating.</p>

<p>What you SHOULD have done is never taken those tests, much less freaking putting them inside your freaking notebook while you were taking the freaking test.</p>

<p>It's idiots like you that don't think before they act.</p>

<p>You should pay the price for A) Being dumb enough to cheat and B) Being dumb enough to get caught.</p>

<p>If I were a boarding school, I wouldn't take you. </p>

<p>Hell, if I were ENRON I wouldn't hire you.</p>

<p>You suck. I hate you.</p>

231

<p>I'm a Mom of 3 so I'll chime in, even though the deadline seems to have passed.</p>

<p>What did you did was wrong, but to lie about it only compounds the problem. You didn't make a "mistake" -mistakes are what you make on a Math test. You made a CHOICE -- a choice to steal something that didn't belong to you, then a choice to lie about it. Choices have consequences.</p>

<p>You should make a FULL confession to EVERYTHING -first to your parents and then to the principal --why you did it and how you then lied about it, but how you realize that you can't let some one else take the rap for something YOU did. Tell them you are willing to accept whatever punishment they deem necessary,which shows you are willing to take the responsibility of your actions, but plead for mercy. </p>

<p>It may in fact affect your future, but that is the cost one pays for choosing to do something that they are quite aware is wrong. Come clean, feel better about yourself by doing so, and take whatever lumps are given you. You'll come out of it a better person.</p>

232

<p>Epsilon, although I agree with you in principle, that kind of chastizing is too much. I hope you were joking. (Can't tell.)</p>

<p>Erato, I hope for your sake that your school doesn't put this in your perminant record, because no college will want you if you cheated, even at the tender age of 15. Boarding schools especially will not accept you.</p>

<p>Confess and pray, is all I can say.</p>

233

<p>here is what happens, when you get caught cheating, often people will look at your past successes, and wonder...hmm....because in general, people don't get caught the first time they do something, I know this was your first time cheating, but more often than not, the cheater has cheated before</p>

<p>so, you wil survive this, but you need to be EXTRA careful, to not even, ever again to give the appearance of cheating, because know your past behavior will be wondered about, and people may think, well, he may have been cheating before</p>

<p>this is not to scare you, but to remind you that from this day forward, you need to be a beacon of honor, go the extra steps needed to regain trust....</p>

<p>it wil work out</p>

234

<ol>
<li> you're bad at cheating</li>
<li> who cares, it's not the end of the world. You get kicked out of school (whatever you're in) and you might not get accepted to wherever you planned.</li>
<li> there are more important things happening in the world, please don't cry over some cheating infraction.</li>
<li> In the future (if you're still alive), you might look back at this and laugh.</li>
</ol>

235

<p>quote from ender's game - if you're going to cheat, cheat intelligently</p>

<p>and it probably wasnt so good to post this on a big public forum... imagine your principal/teachers seeing this?</p>

<p>what happened?</p>

236

<p>agreed... what happened?</p>

237

<p>I think it is obvious that Erato is not a good cheater, and that he also committed the biggest mistake of his life so far. </p>

<p>Just you because you have never cheated doesn't give you the right to judge anybody. Also, just because you don't cheat, doesn't mean you have not done any deplorable actions. However, if you are perfect, you may have the right to reprimand Erato. </p>

<p>Having a community college background education is not a crime or a bad thing, and you will always have the opportunity to earn higher degrees. In addition, just because you are attentending or graduating from Harvard - or any prestigious university - or have the IQ of 180 does not mean that you have a sane mind. </p>

<p>I feel sorry for you, Erato, if you are sorry for what you did. If not, take the consequences. I think you should confess everything. It takes more balls to mend your actions. If your teachers do not look at you the same, so what. You can try to gain back their trust but it will be very hard.</p>

238

<p>i doubt you're just trying to 'test this boring class'</p>

239

<p>Just tell them that you are guilty and willing to accept the consequences. Speak to you teacher in private and explain to her how the pressure influenced you. Do not try to excuse yourself though. Ask for ways to improve the situation. Show sincere regret. Remember that your teacher and principal are only people. They too have made mistakes and if you properly display sorrow, they might even sympathize the problem. </p>

<p>PS I do not know if my response is still relevant to the topic, since I chose not to read every page of this thread.</p>

240

<p>i ttoally agree with jg. write a letter of apology, and explain all of your cirumstances, without trying to excuse your actions. say you feel terrible, and you know what you did was wrong, but you hope that theyll understand this isn't part of your normal character
i think the schools will have to find out, though, you cant really get around it. thats jsut the consequence. it sucks, but its true. you could write them a similar letter, i guess.</p>