Well the title says it all. I chose the wrong college and was impulsive when I did so. I live in north california, about 8 hours away from the college I decided to go to. I leave in two weeks and i’ve been a complete wreck due to my fear of leaving. The school i’m going to is great, I’m paying very little because my dad is a veteran so I don’t even have to take out student loans. But I can’t help but wish I went to my other top choices, UC Davis, and UC Santa Cruz. I hate how I can’t come visit on the weekends, and even at orientation for my school I broke down and cried to my dad. I did not enjoy orientation at all given that almost everyone I met was commuting. I don’t know what to do. The only thing that’s getting me through this is knowing I can come home after a semester and transfer to community college. I’ve also considered taking a gap year… are there any UC’s or CSU’s that take transfers sooner than two years ??
So sorry you’re having these feelings : ( Out of curiousity, is the school UC San Diego? If it is (or if it’s another UC), you generally cannot transfer easily to another UC (except maybe UC Merced). I started at UC San Diego and didn’t love it. In order to get into UC Davis, I needed to attend Community College for a semester and then reapply. Once I did that, I got back into Davis (who had accepted me as a Senior).
Having written that, I will say to give where ever you are a good chance. Not everyone will be commuting because there are lots and lots of students who will be living in the dorms. Try not to throw in the towel so early just based on orientation. Find some clubs to join and really give it a go. For me, I think I made the mistake of choosing the path of misery after Thanksgiving break. If I had stuck it out for the full year there’s a good chance I would’ve found a lot to love about where I was at. Granted, I was thrilled from day one at UC Davis, but sometimes we have to give things more of chance and not dig our feet in is misery. Hang in there! It’s probably going to be a lot better than you think…but after a year, if it’s not, you can figure out a way to make a change.
I am sorry that you are feeling apprehensive on going away to college. It can be a huge transition for many students but you are not alone, just check the many postings on the website about students second guessing their college choice.
You have a few options:
- See if you can defer your enrollment, take a gap year and re-evaluate or reapply as a Freshman.
- Give yourself a minimum of 2 semesters or 3 quarters to acclimate to your new school. You might end up finding you like your school once you give it a chance. Fear of the unknown right now might be clouding your judgement.
- If you find the school is not a good fit, then withdraw and attend your local CC so you can transfer.
A very few CSU’s and even fewer UC’s will take lower division transfers so most likely you will need to transfer after 2 years at the CC. 60 semester/90 quarter units are the minimum for Junior level transfers. I do know UC Davis does accept lower division transfers <60 semester/90 quarter units but only for a few majors if room is available.
More private universities would accept LDT’s vs. state schools. You will need to check with every school to see if an LDT is possible.
Wishing you the best and give the school a chance.
My NorCal kid decided to go to UMich last year and never really experienced winter before. It took some time to adjust, probably an entire semester, but eventually adjusted to the tough classes and the winter climate. You have to take it slow. One thing at time. Change is always difficult.
Having said all that, Southwest has cheap flights back and forth.
@znatalia: We are from Southern California and my older son went to UC Davis, opposite of your situation. He did not have an easy transition the first quarters which included his roommate dropping out but he eventually made some good friends and ended up loving his time there. As all CC posters are saying, change is not easy. Ask your parents to get a Southwest Visa like I did to help accumulate those points so you can fly home if needed. My son came home several times for the first year, we FaceTimed often but by 2nd year he only came home for Christmas and Spring break.
A lot of college students feel this way. I’ve seen kids crying rivers of tears as they are dropped. Usually this is in exactly your situation: going away to s distant state school, likely with few friends accompanying. With friends and classmates primarily more local to home. It’s a very scary feeling.
It’s also an adventure. Give it a try. Throw yourself into it. Watch and listen. Breathe it in. New environment. Check it out. Get involved in an activity. Work hard st the classes. Don’t look at it as four years but till the holidays, or whenever you are going back home. It’s not easy for some of us to take change in stride. It’s a wonderful opportunity you have to check out another part of your state, your country.
Good luck to you! Hugs too. I left home at 17 and came to a whole other country. Didn’t know a single person at my college at first. You’ll run into some connection there—because even I did, going across an ocean
This is a really big change and that’s a pretty common feeling. If you were my kid, i’d encourage you to go and make the most of it. My guess is, you will build friendships and not want to come home often. We live in N Cal and my youngest son went to school in Colorado and is loving it. As others note above Southwest makes it pretty easy and cheap to travel up and down CA. Fly home a time or two, your dad can come visit a few times, and Thanksgiving break will be here before you know it.
Gongrats and good luck