<p>I absolutely hate talking about myself and I keep writing what I think colleges want to hear instead of what is true. I really wanted to apply to Questbridge but I feel like I would have to get personal about things that I don't like to talk about. I guess I try to paint myself as this kid who's had a normal healthy life when that isn't the case. I want to come across as a positive guy and a happy person, but when I try to look at my life objectively I realize that colleges may think I'm "messed up" or will have baggage if I am 100% honest. I know there is no reason to talk about everything, but I don't know if colleges will give me a fair chance if they don't know know what I've been through and what I've achieved in spite of that. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me but I would like to know how much you think I should share... Basically my childhood was defined my dad's substance abuse and violence. He would drink or get high and beat my mother who would then beat me. Technically we weren't poor because both of my parent's had jobs but they both found ways to waste their money to the point where they'd have to buy food stamps off of druggies to get groceries. It was like this for years and I became isolated and lonely which is still true today. Eventually my parents found religion. My mom is a bible thumper and my dad is nearly sixty now so he's calmed down a bit but he still drinks and occasionally everything goes back to the way they were ten years ago. My parents still hate me though and the feeling is mutual. As if this wasn't enough I'm a trans guy but no one knows about it, I look and act just like a normal teenage girl. I'm afraid to"come out" and I need to go to college out of state so that I don't have to hide who I am anymore. I see college as a way out and I want to put this all behind me which is why I'm reluctant to talk about it... Basically I have no intention of sharing all of that or even most of it with colleges, but I just think that colleges will look at the loner with no social skills and some discipline issues who had to beg my recommenders not to write about how odd I am a little differently when they have a better picture of why I am the way I am.</p>
<p>I’m not sure what advice to give. Don’t write what you think they want to hear, that will come across as insincere. However, you don’t have to write about things that are painful unless you want to. Perhaps you can select an essay prompt that allows you to stay in safer territory? </p>
<p>Every person has good things and bad things about them. You say you’re “messed up,” but you have good traits just like everyone else. So talk about the good things in your essay. Don’t mention the bad things. This isn’t lying by omission (something that I worried about). Colleges know that you have bad traits, whether you mention them or not. That’s not what they’re asking to know. They want to know in what ways you can make you a good addition to their college. Answer them. </p>
<p>Are there specific questions in the QB application that make you feel like you have to talk about this? If not, you could ask your GC to mention that you have had a difficult home life (some substance abuse by parents, low income in past years). You don’t have to tell the GC all, but enough so they can tell some to the colleges. </p>
<p>Your essays don’t have to talk about your home life, honestly, unless the QB application has extra questions that the Common App doesn’t. You can talk about your ECs, things you like to do on your own, etc. </p>
<p>College application essay topics usually revolve around things like: what was an event that changed the way you think, what event made you a better person, what you think you can contribute to the country/world/society, how your interests/passion/chosen major will affect society/world, what challenges you’ve gone through that have made you a better/stronger person, how are you different and how you feel this could benefit others/society, etc. I wouldn’t write anything you’re not comfortable writing. But at the same time, I wouldn’t shy away from writing some “harsher” things just because you’re afraid colleges won’t like them. The personal statement essay is just that: what makes you you. You can talk about some of the challenges you’ve faced growing up, and how they have influenced your interests/passions/dreams (motivated you all the more), how your differences can benefit you and others (give you empathy you might not have had), etc. I wouldn’t focus too much on whether colleges want a happy, “normal” person, versus if they will pity you and therefore accept you. Both will come off as insincere. Besides, it’s a lot more powerful to talk about your challenges in a positive way, and how they have made you a stronger person. You’ve known what it is to hide your true self from others; if you attended a college out of state, would you use your experiences to try to create a better world for others? </p>