Personal stuff in essays

<p>So I want to get into nice schools and want to have as nice of an application as possible but I am not sure if I should write about my family life. If not I have plenty of positive things to say with funny, normal anecdotes. I really don't want to whine especially when my situation really isn't the worst. Obviously my environment has an impact on me but I believe that a person should own up to their mistakes without blaming others(although if something helps me get into schools I'll say it). Also I'm probably suffering through depression but I won't let even a bit of sadness on my applications.</p>

<p>So...
I am a black female applying to MIT(and others)</p>

<p>I was born in NYC, pretty bad area but we moved to a apartment in a nice school district in the suburbs when I was 3. The area was predominantly black and somewhat poor but the county as a whole is one of the best in the nation. My first school was title 1 but then I went to the gifted program in 3rd grade at a different school where the majority of the people were solidly middle class. Anyway my parent actually make a good amount of money but they kept renting for no reason, my neighborhood kids seriously made fun of me and my math books and stuff. I moved a year ago to a house in a slightly better area. <em>Yeah won't mention any of this because its all normal but I just wanted to give some context.</em></p>

<p>So my dad is demanding says I am degenerating and that I'm stupid a lot. He beat me up a lot and used to scare me. This happened in a bipolar way sometimes he's happy sometimes he's not. He threw me against a wall once, gave me bruises etc but also hurt me emotionally. I have a reflexive flinch that I can't get rid of. A couple of times in public he would turn psycho it shocks me that people just stare and do nothing. I used to hide my report cards since he would get mad over Bs, over time my grades got worse. My elementary teachers would ask if something was wrong, I said everything was fine and in conferences my parents seemed normal. My mom would plead with my dad to stop when he was angry but he would just let his anger out on me. I'm wasn't allowed to leave home and haven't done anything bad or anything if your wondering.</p>

<p>Things that are probably a result of this: poor self esteem, extreme introversion, periods of depression where my grades would suffer. </p>

<p>My dad did teach me math and inspired me to love it(in his good moods). I discovered a year ago that he had a surgery when I was 5 that affected his mood. I know this caused it because I used to always think that it was my sibling's birth that caused the mood shift even though he never treats her this way. Also he was tortured for 5 years by a horrible government when he was in his 20s and he experienced some horrific stuff like murder of his friends by the government that was against the "intelligentsia" or just anyone that went to college.</p>

<p>Currently I am physically strong enough so that my dad doesn't really do anything or he's just improved. Honestly I do love my dad when he is not in a bad mood, his medications seem to be at the right level nowadays. </p>

<p>So do I mention any of this, at all.</p>

<p>I would definitely mention this. These experiences have clearly played a significant role in shaping you as a person today; it doesn’t seem like you’re blaming your dad. I would put the focus on the complicated relationship you have with your dad and demonstrate the contrast in his behavior depending on his mood. I found the mention of your reflexive flinch particularly poignant. Try to avoid making generalizations about your relationship and let your anecdotes speak for themselves.</p>

<p>I’m pretty sure MIT has supplements/short answers, right? You can answer those with a lighter tone. Good luck!</p>

<p>I would mention that, I was in a similar situation such as yours. I was homeless and bullied. It how you deliver those events in your life. As long as you don’t make yourself seem like your are trying to guilt the admissions into giving you a spot. I am proud of you. even though I don’t know you, that you did all these despite your personal issues. I’m happy to see a fellow black person applying to college and still manage to get work done despite their problems. kudos to you young lady and I hope you get into MIT. GOOD LUCK</p>