I don’t know if I want to go to college or not. This is honestly a very scary thought for me, everyone in my family has gone to college, most have gone to graduate school, and I always thought I wanted to go to college. I’ve been researching colleges since 7th grade, I even wanted a doctorate for the longest time, until a few weeks ago. I don’t know if a white collar job will make me happy, I think about what I want from life and a white collar job gives me none of that. I’ve been unhappy for so long, so I don’t know why I would go spend thousands of dollars on something I don’t even want. And I don’t know what to do, I’m a junior in high school so I’m expected to be looking at colleges. I have a 4.4 GPA and am taking classes at my community college, so I’ll graduate high school with an associates. So I am expected to continue on with my education, but I don’t know if that’ll give me happiness. And I’m scared to tell my parents, I’m supposed to be the smartest one in the family, the one who always said they’d get a PhD and now I don’t want to go to college or at most get a certificate from another community college. I just don’t know what to do.
I think the question you should ask yourself first is what will make you happy?
Is that something a job you can get with the associates degree you will receive? If it is and you have thought long and hard about they pay, lifestyle, and so forth, then maybe you shouldn’t go to college. You say your smart, and I beleive you, so chances are you probably are not going to be satisfied doing a job for the rest of your life that only requires a high school degree
Have you thought about maybe taking a year off between high school and college? I don’t know much about it, so maybe someone else that does could chime in, but it does sound like it could be a good option for you. No one ever said you have to start college right out of high school and plenty of people don’t.
As you can tell, I advocate for going to college and really think it is a worthwhile investment in the long run. If you are worried about money, there are plenty of ways to deal with that. I won’t go into them though because there is plenty of info on that out there already. That being said, if doing a job you can get with your associates makes you happy, all the power to you.
There’s something you’re not telling us. How will you know going to college won’t make you happy? Unless going to college will take something away from what you have now that is making you happy. Regardless, it would be a shame working so hard for a 4.4 and not taking the next step. You should at least give it a chance so you won’t have any regrets down the road.
Take some time off to reflect on what you think you’ll be doing in ten years. Then consider how you’ll get there.
You’re too young to be under this kind of stress.
Also, try to picture the meghangrace5 of 2025. Will (s)he be a person comfortably and happily living in a well paying white collar job? Will (s)he be a person who’s happy to have graduated from a vocational/trade school? Will (s)he be a person who might regret not having gone to college?
It may be hard to do this, but you have to consider your future self too. You might be vacillating between going to college or not right now, but you really really do not want to be 24 and beating yourself up for being this way as a teenager. Remember that you know yourself better than any of us do. Think about what you really value right now and what you think you WILL value later on BASED on the different level in life you’ll be in.
OK, deep breaths.
This isn’t something you need to decide today. And, if you do make a decision in the next months, it’s not something that can’t be changed.
Most of the thousands of Juniors I’ve taught over the years had no idea what they wanted to be “when they grew up.” And, of those who WERE sure, a decent percentage changed their minds over the next few years. So you’re right in there with the majority. (Maybe not the majority of kids on this site, but that doesn’t mean anything. This site tends to draw a certain kind of kid. You may or may not be that kind of kid.)
I’ll put in a quick push for college, then switch gears. So don’t stop reading yet.
Statistically, those with a college degree tend to make a much better living than those without one. They have more opportunities for jobs, receive better benefits from their employers, experience better job satisfaction and have greater job stability, among other benefits http://www.collegeatlas.org/earn-a-college-degree.html .
So you can see why your parents, why so many of us parents, want that degree. We want our kids to be happy down the road, and well provided for, and for many people, that degree is part of those hopes.
I think that maybe what you have to start to consider is what you want to do after college.
Not everyone who is happy in life is a doctor or a lawyer. You may find that the path for happiness for you is as a baker or a business owner or a travel agent. You may find that you love working with kids, or writing, or the travel that comes with a job in the airlines. Maybe you love the world of fashion, or that of pro sports.
Or maybe you’ll be happy with a “job” and not a “career.” Lots and lots of people are.
I think maybe you want to table the idea of college right now, and concentrate on what you think you like. What are you good at, other than schoolwork?
My 15 year old daughter said recently that she had no idea what she wants to do “when she grows up.” And I told her that it was OK, there was no rush to decide. And then, a day or two later, I realized that she has a talent she’s never noticed. (Don’t laugh.) She and I can go shopping, and she can see a shirt or a sweater than looks absolutely nondescript on the hanger. She tries it on and BAM, it transforms into a great look. So I asked her whether she would consider a career in fashion merchandising, with an eye towards someday being a buyer for a store. Her eyes lit up when I mentioned it, it’s something she can consider. I have no idea whether or not it’s the path she’ll eventually take, but it’s a possibility that may lead to other possibilities.
So stop worrying about college as you take those deep breaths. Keep your grades up, but stop sweating that PhD. Start to look into what you enjoy, what you’re good at. What clubs/activities give you the most enjoyment? What did you do last summer that brought you joy? Start to make a list of things you like, no matter how disjointed that list is.
Then consider making an appointment with your guidance counselor to discuss what you’ve come up with.
Have you stopped to think about the fun aspects of college? In addition to learning, you will have such a good time. You will meet great people, have fascinating discussions far into the night, see movies and plays, go to concerts and/or sports events, eat great food, participate in academic and non-academic activities, maybe travel or study abroad, and have the freedom of living on your own without the responsibility of paying rent and (at least initially) cooking your own food. On the other side, as a working adult and parent, this sounds like bliss to me.
And I fully endorse all of the calming, useful advice @bjkmom provided. You don’t have to have your life planned out just yet, nor should you. Think about what you enjoy and if there is a way to learn the knowledge and skills in college to be able to pursue those activities after you graduate. If you have no clue, maybe look for a college or university that has a more structured core curriculum. It will require you to explore many academic disciplines as a freshman and/or sophomore and you may discover a passion for a field that is currently unknown to you. Many freshmen enter college undecided and, if they declare a major, many change their minds.
If you’re really, really not ready, consider a gap year. That may clarify your thinking. You may find that you miss school when you’re not in it. With your GPA you are obviously successful in your studies.
Finally, it is normal to feel apprehensive about the future at this stage. But if your feelings are truly overwhelming to you, you might seek out some counseling, pastoral care, or a trusted teacher, in addition to your GC and parents.
Good luck! I’m sure you will have a happy and rewarding life.
How do you know you won’t be happy? College seems to be much more fun than HS.
Think about what interests you, and careers related to those interests. You can always go to college undeclared.
Unfortunately, an associate’s isn’t useful these days. Most careers require a Bachelor’s or Master’s.
College isn’t for everyone. There’s always vocational school. But, definitely don’t set your goal as manual labor. With a 4.4 GPA, you have much more potential!