I don't want to go to college at all?

<p>powercropper’s post was excellent. I would also, however, like to address your statements that you are not finding any joy in life and are not motivated by anything. Please talk to someone (guidance counselor, physician, mental health professional) as soon as you can. You could be depressed.</p>

<p>OP, do you have all expenses covered at Alabama, or is your “full ride” free tuition only? From earlier posts, your parents paid for your sister to go to CMU. Did she pay for Yale Law School after that, or did your parents pay for that, too? </p>

<p>Where do YOU think you might want to go to college? From earlier threads, you have posted about applying to places like NYU and Northeaster. And then there’s Tulane.</p>

<p>It sounds like the scholarship she got was the Presidential, which is for full tuition at Alabama.</p>

<p>However, if she’s a likely NMF, then the award will be for a lot more.</p>

<p>From her other threads, it seems that the parents paid for the sister’s undergrad because she was more academically focused…knew what she wanted and was self-directed to follow thru. so, maybe the parents felt that spending large amounts of money on her education was less risky. </p>

<p>The parents may not understand that many students really don’t know what their career goals are at this young age.</p>

<p>If I understood OP’s post correctly, part of the issue is that her father wants her to take a really hard major, do well in it, and go to an Ivy league grad school. None of which she wants. I just want to point out that many parents feel that if they are paying for college, they are entitled to a say in what happens in college. Whether that should be the case is irrelevant for this discussion, but I think it probably is the case here. Even if dad can afford to pay for a different college, now or later, I think having a big scholarship, a free ride?, gives her a degree of autonomy that she may lose if she loses the money. Just something to consider. Definitely find out whether the scholarship will still be there next year, if you take a gap year.</p>

<p>I’m gonna go to college next year because I just might as well go because I don’t have anything else to do. A thing that stresses me out is not only my dad, but also myself not knowing what to do. People go to college in order to study what they want to do in their life, but since I really don’t know what that is for me yet it makes me feel anxious because it seems that most people already know exactly what they want to do. Even though my dad wants me to do something such as engineering, I will probably just do what I want when I hopefully have something figured out. I got a presidential scholarship. My dad paid for my sisters entire education, including law school and even let her spend some of his money after law school so she didn’t have to take out any loans or pay anything at all. I guess I just need to use my freshman year to look at some options and fill in my general ed requirements. Though I don’t really have a passion for anything I’ve done yet, which has not been much in school, I did like my human anatomy and physiology class as well as biochemistry, so something in healthcare may be what I end up doing, I just don’t know what yet.</p>

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<p>Not just healthcare. You might enjoy some type of biological or medical research. With a presidential scholarship, you might be able to find an opportunity to work in a research lab, which would give you some insight into whether this could be a possible career for you. You could also seek out some volunteer opportunities in healthcare settings, perhaps in the summer, to see what you can learn about that field. Sometimes seeing what people in a particular field do all day can make a big difference in people’s career decisions.</p>

<p>Penelope-don’t stress over not knowing what to do or what to major in. Most students change majors two or even three times–trying out new things is not a character flaw, it is why you are going to college.</p>

<p>When you get to campus, take one or two classes in subjects that you know you like, so you will have a comfort factor–and then take one or two classes in subjects that intrigue you for whatever reason. There are so many things out there that you just don’t know much about because you haven’t had broad exposure yet. One of my sons started college as a business major–and was doing quite well in that major–but ended up graduating with a double major/double minor in political science, philosophy, religious studies and public policy. He recently finished a masters in public policy and has a job doing policy analysis and advocacy that he absolutely loves. When he was in high school, he didn’t even know stuff like this existed.</p>

<p>Think of going to Alabama as a chance to go to one of the world’s best buffets, and you have unlimited choices to try anything that looks good. </p>

<p>Don’t limit yourself. Let yourself have a chance to be happy.</p>

<p>Penelope, you are not supposed to necessarily have any idea about what you want to do for work in life, before going to college. The ideas your father has may be from his culture. It is true that in these days of high loan costs, more parents want college to be about vocation, but that is not really what it needs to be. Not only do students change majors frequently, but once they graduate, the jobs they get often have nothing at all to do with their major.</p>

<p>You can get a bachelor’s in anything that interests you, and then have access to law, medical, business or other grad school, and have access to any job that has a bachelor’s as a requirement (or jobs that don’t.)</p>

<p>Along with your studies, try to do some volunteering or interning to try out some different interests. Again, even these don’t have to be career focuses.</p>

<p>Some people think of the job market in easy, identifiable categories but the reality is more complex and nuanced, and there will be jobs in 5 years that don’t even exist right now. Take a look at Craigslist to get an idea of what I mean.</p>

<p>Don’t worry about being undecided. It’s pretty normal. Perhaps a counselor could help explain this to your parents.</p>

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<p>People here on CC can be quite passionate about their majors, but CC is a self selected group of fairly motivated people. You don’t hear about people like me who didn’t have a major all picked out but “liked math and science” and since my Dad and stepmom were Electrical Engineers, I was exposed to engineering and majored in electrical engineering.
I found out I didn’t really like hands on circuitry, but that is okay, there are many jobs where having that technical background is the thing that is needed (e.g., in the telecom industry).</p>

<p>No, you don’t have to go to college. But if you don’t, you have to find some alternatives. Though your parents can’t MAKE you go, they can make your life miserable if you are living at home with them and they are upset with the choice. They can even ask you to leave (or throw you out for that matter). Once you turn 18, you are an adult and though that means your parents don’t have as legal control over you, it also means they have no legal obiglations to you. As a minor, a child, they can’t let you like in the gutters without food and certain child care requirement. Child welfare would step in and they would have legal problems for doing that. When you are 18, it’s all on you. Every cent, every bit eof food, every bit of shelter is only because your parents want to give it to you. So do understand that. </p>

<p>Which means if you truly don’t want to go to college, you had better look for someplace to live and a job to pay for it, food, transportation and living expenses. I know any number of kids who have done this. It’s not an easy life, but they just could not stand going to college, and their parents did not want them at home and/or they didn’t, couldn’t live with parents. It’s a tough life because few 18 years olds, young adults can make a decent living wage. You need to find someone to let you a room for a low price and start getting money and plans together.</p>

<p>Ideally, you would be able to discuss this with our parents and they let you have some time, live at home and find something within a period of time to do, a job, a vocation. Depends on the parents. My husband’s uncle’s kids all did that. None of them went to college right out of high school. SOme took a few community college or vocational training classes, but most of them found jobs and went that course. They lived at home, most of them except for the one who joined the military for a long time, before having he resources to move out on their own, but eventually they all did. They did pay rent to their parents after getting jobs. I have one of mine living at home right now, who is between situations, and he is paying rent. His SO is back in school and living with her parents as her tuition costs are very high-getting a masters from a private program. So even going to school and graduating doesn’t preclude this scenario.</p>

<p>Perhaps the military might be another option.</p>

<p>Penelope, you’ve got it wrong about people going to college knowing what they want to do. Most don’t. Many pick a major out of the air, just to pick. The first two years are often just taking the required courses to graduate, and there are choices there. Also it forces you to sample different disciplines so that by junior year, you can pick a major. So not knowing what you want to study is typical. And those few kids who do know, tend to change their majors. Lots of changes at college.</p>

<p>With my first child, I would have been upset if he had wanted to stay home, and mull the idea of college for a year or so. I would have been gung ho to get him going, and unfortunately, short of a crisis arising, I don’t think anyone would have been able to convince me to just let ti go. But in the ensuing 13 years, I’ve “grown up” , and if this last one should come to me and say what you are saying, I would be amenable of the idea of his taking a gap year, and trying to find some alternative things other than college to do. I don’t know if Alabama would let you take a gap year and keep your award. You might want to ask. But I’ve learned that for some kids going directly to college is not the best thing to do. Trying to tell a parent who hasn’t learned this is generally frutiless however, has been my experience.</p>

<p>I want to point out that Penelope is not REQUIRED to attend UA. I can sympathize with not wanting to attend a very large school (state or not) where football is big. I do think “fit” is very important (and we talk about “fit” a lot on CC, so we shouldn’t be blinded by the $$ and forget it.)
Since she’s got a Presidential scholarship, there are LOTS of other schools where she can still apply: Early Action, Rolling admission, Regular Decision. Some without any application fee, even.
If anything, she could compare scholarships and then decide, it’d be better than to feel “boxed in”. She could consider that UA is her safety, and now she’s free to apply to any other school, since she’s sure she has a good option to fall back upon.
A smaller school with D3 sports and no Greek Life might be a better “fit”, for example. Women’s colleges would probably also “work” with her criteria.
She still has many months before she has to decide. </p>

<p>Penelope, try to find schools that interest you.
Don’t worry about going as undecided - the overwhelming majority of freshmen has no clue what they want to study in college, for the simple reason they haven’t taken college classes in a variety of fields yet. At the end of freshman year, you’ll have a better idea. College is to discover your passions and find your own way. Don’t worry about it.</p>

<p>Are you feeling so dejected when you think of spending 4 years at UA specifically? Or when you think of the 4 years ahead in general?
You should talk to a trusted adult, or a guidance counselor (as someone said above) to sort it out and feel better.</p>

<p>Nursing is something I have thought of before, but to do nursing I must start out right away which is making me feel that I need to figure out what I want to do.</p>

<p>I agree that Penelope doesn’t have to attend any particular school. </p>

<p>However, if she likes nursing, that can be a small school experience even at a big school.</p>

<p>And, I can practically guarantee you that the other nursing students at Bama aren’t getting drunk and partying all the time. The program is highly competitive. Those admitted have a 3.99 avg GPA. These are the best of the best…and have a 99%-100% pass rate on the nat’l exam.</p>

<p>Another thing that I’ve thought of before is speech pathology, but feel that it may get really repetitive.</p>

<p>I agree that Penelope doesn’t have to attend any particular school. </p>

<p>However, if she likes nursing, that can be a small school experience even at a big school.</p>

<p>And, I can practically guarantee you that the other nursing students at Bama aren’t getting drunk and partying all the time. The program is highly competitive. Those admitted have a 3.99 avg GPA. These are the best of the best…and have a 99%-100% pass rate on the nat’l exam.</p>

<p>As for needing to start out in that immediately…yes and no. The first year’s classes could apply to other majors as well…</p>

<p>Course</p>

<p>Fall
English Composition
Intro to Psychology
Intro to Chemistry w/Lab
Human Development
Intro to Nursing (Optional Class)
Fine Arts</p>

<p>Spring
English Composition
History (Sequence 1 or 2)
Intro Organic Chemistry w/Lab
math (110 or higher)
Microcomputer with Lab</p>

<p>How about you look into Pre Health?
If you’re really good at whatever college you decide to attend, you can even make your dad happy and transfer into Penn’s Nursing Program (yes, Ivy League Nursing). And that gives you 4 years to decide if that’s what you really want to do.</p>

<p>Pre Health = pre med, pre PA, pre physical therapy… Basically, you need to take English, Calculus, Biology, Chemistry. In many colleges, you’ll also have a foreign language, a humanities class, and a social science.
You can then figure out whether you’d rather have these courses in small groups, large lecture halls, etc. Be aware that the Pre Med/health prereqs tend to be the largest classes on most campuses. You can check out schedules online to see how big these classes are. You can also email the admissions office and ask “how big is BIO125? Calculus I? Chemistry 110” etc. You may prefer bigger or smaller, more interactive or more lecture-driven, etc.</p>

<p>Freshman year, regardless of intended major, you’ll take classes from a wide variety of subjects. It’s very unlikely you won’t find one you like. </p>

<p>If your dad is adamant you should major in subject Z, then you can double major (subject Z and whatever subject you’re passionate about). Unless of course you don’t do well in subject Z - at some colleges, one third of the freshmen arrive as premed, and guess what? Most figure out it’s not for them. The attrition rate is even greater for Engineering students.</p>

<p>For a bit of perspective, here’s another thread where a student asked a similar question (not the exact same, but same theme). There wasn’t a full scholarship but the feelings seem similar, although the reactions are different.
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1566389-does-your-childs-happiness-college-matter.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/1566389-does-your-childs-happiness-college-matter.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Penelope, you do not need to pick a career at age 17!!!</p>

<p>There are nurses who work for drug companies recruiting patients for clinical trials of new cancer therapies. There are nurse who work for insurance companies helping hospitals make sure they are using the most efficacious therapies for a wide range of diseases. There are nurses who work for the Federal government mapping and tracking flu outbreaks, and nurses who work with teenage mothers helping them understand basic anatomy and why unprotected sex at age 16 will likely result in another pregnancy very soon.</p>

<p>There are speech pathologists who work with stroke victims who have trouble swallowing, and speech pathologists who work with kids with skeletal and muscular disorders and speech pathologists who work with returning vets who had severe brain injuries in Iraq, all in different clinical settings.</p>

<p>you do not need to make this decision now. A big university will give you exposure to lots of different fields, and will be hosting visiting scholars from all over the world on a weekly basis. Show up at lectures, symposia, attend art openings and listen to guest speakers at one of the many campus libraries, and soon enough, you will start to get excited about one or more disciplines!</p>

<p>If you feel that nothing is exciting, at all, and that you just want to lie down in bed until life has changed, make sure to see a mental health specialist. You may be depressed.
If this feeling started when you got into UA and your dad decided you’d go there, then the situation is different.
But if there’s no specific reason why you feel so blah about everything, ask for help.</p>