My whole life my parents have been putting pressure on me to get into a good college because it is what you are supposed to do.I am currently a senior and keep going back and forth on where I want to apply.I have no idea what I want to do with my life or where I want to go.I actually change my mind on a daily basis.I am probably going to take a gap year to figure out my life but am starting to question if I even want to go to college and what the point is.I know it is basically essential but it just seems so insigificant which one I go to.I have toured over 10 and don’t have any strong opinions about anything of them and could see myself at all of them even though they are all different sizes and all different locations and vibes.There is just too many options,it’s not that I don’t care where I go it’s just that I can’t decided because it is just so overwhelming.What should I do to help me decide where I apply before I miss all of the deadlines?
The super match tool might help you figure out your preferences.
http://www.collegeconfidential.com/college_search/
If you really don’t have any preferences pick the least expensive option or even community college.
Well, there are many points to college… admittedly not everyone HAS to go… but your life outcomes will, generally, be better if you do. The good news is, you don’t have to have any clue what you want to do with your life to go to college. Part of the point of college is that’s where you start to figure stuff out… but even then, you will probably end up changing your mind as life stumbles along. That’s OK. College has value: it’s where you grow socially, transitioning from being a teenager to an adult. You’re able to try things and “fail” in a bit of a vacuum–college matters but it doesn’t MATTER. Barring a few major things, nothing you do in college will ruin your life or have major impacts. You can try on different hats and then discard them, should you choose. College is also where, if you apply yourself correct (and your college is half decent), you will learn critical thinking and analytical skills that will be useful in your future. And for many of us (myself included) it’s where you find lifelong friends.
I mean, if your parents support the idea of college and will pay for you to go somewhere, go. You don’t have to jump into the rat race if you don’t want to–it’s actually pretty easy to avoid schools where everyone Has Direction and Ambition In Excess–go somewhere that sounds fun/interesting/might fit you.
So: what sort of person are you? Are you an introvert? Extrovert? Do you want to feel part of a community, ride off school spirit and jump into a super social atmosphere? Or, would you rather go somewhere chill, where ordering pizza and watching TV is just as substantive an activity as going to the big game? Do you want to go somewhere big, where you can just be one in the crowd, or would you rather have a chance to know everyone in your graduating class? Grassy quad, college town, urban oasis? Everyone has preferences and little things that determine fit. When in doubt, just apply to mid-to-large universities–they tend to have “something” for everyone, academically and socially, are near cities or in them (ie: not rural), and you’d have lots of chances to change your mind, re: major and such. The big deciding factor with these tends to be “heavy sport culture and Greek life or no?”
If you let us know your general stats and a few answers to the above questions, we can recommend some schools. It’s worth at least applying to some, so then you can still take a gap year and defer… and you’ll have the choice/option, instead of none. (FWIW: I think a gap year is a great idea)
From your other posts it looks like you’re a young woman from RI whose parents are willing and able to pay for any school you want, but you’re concerned your stats aren’t realistic for the elite schools your dad envisions that you’ll attend. Not many kids know for sure what they want to do at your age, and they don’t all have stellar stats either. An ~1800 SAT and 3.5 sophomore GPA are respectable scores. You’ll undoubtedly get into a lot of good schools.
I’d craft your list using academic safeties, matches, and reaches. Let some of the reaches be colleges that will make your dad happy. He may not realize how much more competitive they are than when he was in college/med school. Pick some matches and safeties that you could envision yourself attending. Look for colleges with a broad range of majors so you have options when you’re ready to declare a major. Pick those that have a relaxed atmosphere if that’s what suits you.
Make a list of the things you know you like to help you choose. What area of the country do you want to be in? Do you want to see snow or do you prefer a warmer climate? Do you want access to a city or do you want a more rural campus? Do you want a college with Greek life or without? Are you interested in a big sports school where football games are a major event? Do you want a small school (~5,000 or fewer), a large college (~20,000), or somewhere inbetween? Once you narrow down some of the things you like, it will be easier to make a list.
Perhaps you should take a gap year and work while you decide what you want to do.
I am more on the introverted side.I have been stressed so much throughout high school and have had sleeping issues and my hair thinning among some stress eating issues.I want a more relaxed enviornment.I have been reading lots of books about people discovering themselves like Siddhartha and Into The Wild so I might go rogue, who knows.I don’t want a college with a huge greek scene and would prefer to stay under 20,000 people.I have toured 10 colleges ranging from suburban to small town to urban,not really any rural.They ranged from 1800 people to 30,000 and I liked all of them and really did not have a preferance.I don’t want to go somewhere with extreme snow,nowhere that gets more snow than Boston.My problem is that I feel guilty about making my dad pay 65,000 dollars for a college.College is so expensive and I really feel bad making him pay that much because I don’t deserve it.I haven’t taken enough hard classes and my dad tells me a lot that I don’t try enough so I feel like going to an expensive college is him throwing away his money on me.I got a 30 on the ACT so I can’t get that many scholarships so I feel like my only option is the University of Rhode Island.Should I just go to URI and try to stay away from my family’s toxic energy?
OP, I think maybe you should consider some of the Colleges That Change Lives. At many of them, you’d have a strong profile and might get some merit aid, off-setting your dad’s costs, and these schools are well known for, well, changing lives. One I would suggest is Agnes Scott in Atlanta. Goucher, too. Some of these schools would make good safeties for you. But given everything you’ve said, I think a smaller LAC-type school might be a wonderful, nurturing environment for you… full of introverts 
There are schools that give scholarships for a 30 ACT.
See this site:
http://automaticfulltuition.yolasite.com/
Here is an example with enrollment of about 9,000:
University of Louisiana-Monroe
Application Deadline: Dec 3rd
Award: Full Tuition + Fees + $5000 housing stipend
Requirements: 3.0 GPA, 30 ACT or 1320 SAT (CR+M)
http://www.ulm.edu/scholarships/freshmen.html
http://www.ulm.edu/scholarships/outofstate.html
Note: First come, first served as funds are available
But I agree that an lac would be a good fit.
I agree you should look at the Colleges That Change Lives. You would probably get merit aid from several of them. You might find Cornell College in Iowa to be less stressful because you would be taking one class at a time.
- This is not a race. There’s no need to go to college right away
- Gap year is one way to lessen the anxiety, but more importantly a gap year can be a gap decade, if you want. My son is on this path (the path of not committing to college now or maybe for awhile) and as a family we couldn’t be more happy. We are “unschooling” him (google for the term) and he’s never been more relaxed and happier. He graduated last June.
2a) yes he’s very smart. Just really needed not just a break but a time to figure out . . . you know . . . what the world really was like. He needed to relax, gain confidence in his own decisions, and really “live” rather than study all of the time, and feel pressure.
2b) we are a very academic family. This is what we do;
2c) we see his decision as very positive and better in the long run than going to college right away.
2d) get off the track. It’s okay. Nothing bad will happen to you; the track waits for you if you ever want to get back on;
2e) ask your dad to pm me and I’ll explain . . . if you want.
2f) my husband didn’t start college until age 26 and he is currently a ground-breaking, internationally known success in his field; - There are enough people who opt to attend college late that several schools welcome older students. Google “list of nontraditional programs” for an idea of what’s out there. The good news also is that since you’re female a lot of excellent women’s schools offer scholarships to “older” students (Smith has the Comstock, Mt. H has one, Bryn Mawr, Agnes scoott, Wellesley etc.) Also Yale has the Eli program. Other schools like UPenn and Columbia have special COLLEGES established for older and non-trads, that’s how large of a cohort it is. In thise schools, you get the same degree as their undergraduate colleges, but for those the financial aid may not be as good. Also, it’s easier to get into, but the GPAs on average of the older students is better than the regular cohort. Also, by the time you’re ready to make this commitment, you will be more directed, physically and mentally more mature, and probably more relaxed. Also, Harvard has the Extension program which, unlike Yale, UPenn, and Columbia, is not exactly harvard but perhaps close enough. Admission is “take three classes and you’re in,” basically. Also programs like Reed, Grinnell and several other excellent schools WELCOME older students as a way to diversify their programs. In other words –
- do not worry when other posters tell you that you must must must apply as a senior in HS for college or you will be at a disadvantage. That’s simply not true. It’s easy to see that you are actually in many ways at an advantage, because you become a rara avis and are eligible for different opportunities;
- It’s crazy to think that by age 18 you’ve discovered your “passion” and are ready to go gung ho for it in college. Maybe 10% of the population is like this but the vast majority of us really don’t know what we are excited about yet. Taking time will help you decide and will help you shape your college career
- If you do your exploring and maturing now rather than after college, then you will be doing so with zero school loans. You will have greater freedom because loans require that you work a steady job to repay properly.
In this day and age when there’s SOOO much pressure in high school, I feel it is important to explain to young people that they have so much time. There’s really no need to run to college right away, unless you have personal reasons. Take your time. Explore. RELAX and allow yourself to travel. Not necessarily on an expensive gap year progam either, but really just go out and get a job. Sit around the house for six months and read. You’ll figure out yourself and you’ll be happier for it. Really. : )
I second the poster who suggested CTCL (Colleges That Change Lives schools). Ursinus College in PA is an excellent one in my area. They recently announced a new “gateway” scholarship program for qualified admitted students who meet minimum test scores (28 ACT or 1260 CR+M SAT), and certain High School curriculum requirements. The scholarship is $30K per year if admitted, and it is a wonderful school.
More info. here -
https://www.ursinus.edu/offices/scholarships-and-financial-aid/grants-scholarships-loans/ursinus-gateway-scholarship/
Another CTCL school that has a good reputation in my area is McDaniel College in MD.
LACs like these encourage students to explore different academic interests and usually students apply with several academic"interest areas", and are not admitted to a particular “major” , A student’s major(s) is/are declared after freshman year, sometimes even later.