I wouldn’t necessarily say that I’ve failed. I withdrawled from almost all of my classes except for one which i don’t start until next week.
Let me give you a little idea of what’s been going on in my life. It mostly started with math class(college math and stats). When I start to feel any type of stress or anxiety I will procrastinate until the last second. I had a 6 page math project due and I waited til the last second to do it and then ended up skipping class. She said it was fine and to scan the project onto my computer and send it to her via email… easy right? Nope. I waited until the day before my next class to send it to her which she told me that she was giving me a zero because it was due on that day(Wednesday and I send it Monday around 5am) and I had plenty of time to send it to her. Do I have a good reason for what I did? No. I moved on from this with high hopes that I can do better. I had a math test which I also waited til the last second to study for and ended up studying the wrong thing and getting a 30% on it. After that, I gave up and withdrawled from the course. I also, had skipped a good amount of classes which also is a reason I had to withdrawal.
The next class is first year seminar. Like, really? Out of all classes… this is literally a piece of cake. Nope. I went to the first day of class and then didn’t show up for the next three classes bc I was always too tired or just didn’t feel like going. It was a late class at like 6pm. I ended up showing up to the next class and then the lady teaching the class told me I need to withdrawl from the course because there was literally only one more class left and I had miss too much time.
So, after all this. I start to think that there is something wrong with me mentally. My anxiety is spiraling out of control. I’m constantly overthinking. I’m starting to get depression. I went to my doctor and told him my problems and he diagnosed me with add and I started taking veyvance like 3 weeks or so ago.
I was feeling extremely sick from the medicine and had missed two days of my English class. Then, I fell behind, didn’t do the homework, and decided to miss another class… I emailed him and asked if I could still come next class and he said yes but to make sure all my work is done… Next class comes. I did not even open my bookbag so, I didn’t go to class. So, today, I had to withdrawl from English because I missed too much time.
I don’t feel like this medicine has helped me one bit. That’s not the point. I just want to know that I’m not alone and if anyone has had similar problems and or suggestions to overcome whatever is going on?
How do I tell my friends/family what I’ve done?
Will my college let me stay another semester?
I know that I need to figure out what’s going on with myself before i do anything but I’m so lost.
You’re not ready for college and that is okay. You need time to deal with your anxiety, and to take some basic writing and math to get you up to the level where you need to be in order to have a chance at succeeding.
So withdraw now. You’re not a failure, you’re just not ready for the rigors of college. There is no shame in that.
Is there a community college where you can take a basic writing course? Start with that. Once you have improved your English skills, you will feel much more competent to tackle a college-level course.
If you are going to college you need to actually attend classes. Yes even if you are tired, hungover, or don’t feel like going - you need to go to class and turn in things on time. You will be much less anxious if you go to class and don’t procrastinate with your assignments. When you were in high school did you skip classes and turn in assignments late or is this a new issue for you?
If you have a medical problem you should withdraw until you have your problem under control and can regularly attend classes and complete your assignments. Please be honest with your friends and family and let them help you. From what you have described it doesn’t sound like you are ready to attend college at this time.
Listen. You are not alone. You need to go to your school’s mental health clinic. They will assign you a therapist and you will likely be evaluated by a psychiatrist to diagnose how to medically treat your anxiety. This is not something that you need to be embarrassed about. They will help you assess if you can finish the semester in your remaining classes or whether you need to take a medical withdrawal, go home, and seek further treatment there.
Either way, you need to take this illness seriously and realize that until you can function in a healthy way, there is no reason for you to be in college wasting tuition money and creating a record of failure. Without stopping the clock, doors will eventually close for you. Stop the clock, and little is lost.
Once you’ve been diagnosed, treated, and successfully healed, you can start to decide how to proceed.
I would hope that your parents would recognize your situation as the illness that it is and not a character flaw and support you through the healing process.
My gut also says you probably aren’t ready for college. Being ready for college isn’t just about having done well in high school. I agree with others to try and get in to see someone with your college’s mental health services. I also think you ought to schedule right away a meeting with whomever is assigned as your advisor. You might be able to withdraw and be able to postpone college until you are ready without damaging your transcript. There is no shame in any of this and hopefully you can calmly tell your parents what is happening and that you want to postpone college until you feel emotionally ready.
See a doctor and either a psychiatrist or therapist asap. Then try to get a medical withdrawal from college. If you do, your record will be clean, no F’s and no W’s either. Then deal with this problem. It is fine, even beneficial, to step out of college for a bit and you will have many options for the future. But continuing now and leaving behind a record that will follow you could create problems for the future. Good luck. Many of us have kids who have hit a wall, left school and done fine in the end, please believe me. Community college may be a great resource, including online classes.
ps a professional can help you document the need for a withdrawal for medical reasons, but you should also contact a dean and explain that you are having anxiety and depression and cannot function, and that you will have a professional involved in a petition to withdraw
Yes, please seek guidance, I believe things happen for a reason and perhaps you needed a gap year in between before starting college. Some people need that. Do not be afraid to admit that, but you must tell your and let them know what is going on concerning your anxiety and fear. Always remember that it is going to be okay although it may not seem like that right now. Whenever I get into a bind I always remember something my mom always says, Tough times don’t last just tough people."
While I agree with the other parents who posted about that the OP needs to get mental health services, it’s also clear that these alone aren’t sufficient. His/her level of writing and thinking are not college-level yet.
It is competence that will allow this student to succeed. His/her feelings of being overwhelmed in school probably contribute greatly to the anxiety.
This student needs to talk to the dean of students ASAP. Very ASAP…like NOW. The reality is…he or she has just dropped a significant amount of money on courses that have been dropped. If he or she is receiving financial aid, this will affect SAP for future college aid…until SAP is met.
Take it from the voice of experience…I skipped classes and did poorly my Freshman year as well. No excuses, I was just having too much fun to actually go to class. Too tired from parties and other social activities.
Step back. Get a job. Take a cc class or two. Once you are ready (you will know), go back to college and you will do a lot better and feel better about yourself. Better to withdraw than to get kicked out.
I have a friend whose kiddo is going through a similar issue. The parents suspect depression is at the root of the problems and are pursuing a medical withdrawal. The plan they’ve all loosely decided on is a gap year during which their child will work and get counseling. They’ll figure out the rest as they go. They were so relieved that their child came to them so they have an opportunity to help.
Call your parents and tell them that your anxiety is out of control, you’re depressed, on medication that’s making you ill, and you’ve had to withdraw from most of your classes. Ask them to help you get a medical withdrawal. Don’t worry about what other people think. You have to do what’s best for you.
Like in posts 2 and 5, I think you’re not ready for college now. It may be a mental illness as some have suggested, or it may be something as simple as lacking the maturity. I lacked the maturity right out of high school, and put only 1/2 my effort into school, did not finish until I returned years later.
Take a semester or 2 off, and work on your English. Perhaps you are new to this country and English is your second language. Studying our language here can take some time, but is productive and will help you later in life to be able to speak, write, and comprehend this language. How well you speak and write can even affect how others think of you- so let it become a positive!
^It’s not Shakespeare but it is decent writing for a typical American college student. Why do you jump so easily to the suggestion that this is a foreign or ESL student? Apart from ‘withdrawl’, of course.
If you have a mental illness such as an anxiety disorder, understand that successful treatment takes time. Some medicines take months to determine if they work and what the correct dosage is. Sometimes, they don’t work at all and you need to try a different medicine. Therapy does help but takes time and a lot of effort on your part. My point is that it is highly likely that you will need to take a semester off or longer to reach a point where you will be ready to continue college. That okay. Your mental and physical health comes first.
You are not alone! My D had to take a medical withdrawal (very similar situation) and is currently living at home, working, getting therapy twice a week and adjusting medications. It was not easy getting to this point. It was a lot of work and frustration to get the withdrawal and get home and this was at a time when she was least able to cope with it. But it is helping her to take this “gap”. The other advice here is good, I didn’t want to repeat it…just wanted to assure you that you are not alone.
Take a break. Get a job, rethink where you would like to be n 10 years. I have a 23 yo S, Offered tons of merit money from many schools. Ended up flunking out. 5 years later, he still has not “found” himself. Driving me crazy. He would be a great worker, somewhere, Unfortunatley, he is flipping pizza. arggh Hope it works out better for you.
You’re not a failure. You have to do what is best for you. It’s sounds like you have depression and anxiety. I suffer from both of these myself. I started back to school in 2014 after getting fired from my job of 20 years. I withdrew two semesters due to depression. I’m determined to finish my degree.
I came back in Spring 2016 and and went part-time and over the summer sessions.I’m still tweaking my meds. Also am seeing a therapist on a weekly basis. It’s a continual struggle for me. I am doing better than I have in a long time.
You should get a medical withdrawal. Seek counseling if you can. You can probably do an appeal for your financial aid. I did with mine and got it back. If you need to take time off there is no shame in that. Attend school when you feel you are ready. I hope this helps.
Getting a medical withdrawal is really key here. See a professional and talk to a dean. You will need documentation with a diagnosis. You have the ADHD diagnosis, and tried treatment, and need more time to try other medications and approaches. This alone may be enough, but you can also talk about anxiety or depression.
A medical withdrawal will clean up your record and pave the way with financial aid.
With a diagnosis, you have rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act. Not the same level of rights as a high schooler, but the right to a level playing field, so to speak. If and when you continue in school, make sure to register with the Office for Disabilities. They will give you a letter for professors and you will be accommodated with things like reduced course load, single room, excused absences, extensions on assignments etc. But you have to do our part, see a counselor, continue to try treatments and so on.
Also, tuition refund insurance is a good idea.
You may need a year or a few years to get back to college. You really want to get your health on track and it is difficult trying out meds that make you sick while coping with college. The time it takes really varies. But many of us have kids who have gone through this and ended up doing just fine, in whatever way “fine” is defined for each individual.