<p>you’re apparently a smart person. but smart persons make mistakes too. your mistake her is you’re too nearsighted. Conell is good but that shouldn’t be your whole world. Your world should be a lot broader than it.
From your post and your other post there is serious problem bet’n you and your parents, that contriubes partly to your depression. get over them. YOUR LIFE IS YOURS NOT THEIRS! IF YOU RUIN YOUR LIFE, YOU THINK WHO IS GOING TO GET HURT? get over them, be responsible for yourself and your own happiness.</p>
<p>They hit me, kicked me until my confidence faded. They hurt me when I procrastinated on my study. They were only trying to help me have better grades in their own way.</p>
<p>Please talk to somebody about this. My own daughter’s very close friend asked us for help when her father was hitting her. She was from a culture that put much emphasis on grades, performance, getting into an ivy, etc. (She was asian.) We convinced her to talk to a counselor at school, and it really helped. They stopped hitting her, and she is settled in happily at her freshman year of college.</p>
<p>No one should hurt you physically, ever. Please find someone, hopefully someone at your school, to discuss this with.</p>
<p>So what if you were rejected life moves on. You can find a better school then that. You do not have to go to the so called ‘top’ schools. Find one that suits you and is within budget.</p>
<p>HelloCornell,</p>
<p>My heart goes out to you. To have run such a hard, long and painful race and not reach your goal must feel like such a loss. I think that you are grieving your loss. I am sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>Although you must, ultimately, fight your own demons. However, my advice is that this is not the time in your life to fight your parents or anyone else. This is the time to reach out and let people who care (probably NOT your parents, given this and prior posts) for you help you through this.</p>
<p>Keep your best friend. Best friends are so hard to come by, and precious. Nourish your friendship and open yourself to her support. Shutting her out is damaging to her and to you.</p>
<p>Seek help and counsel from the adults at your school. I’m sure there are special relationships that you have built over the years. Whether a formal counselor or another trusted adult, you need to keep you ties with other people.</p>
<p>Even reaching out to adults here on CC will be a means of contact with people who don’t know you, but DO care how you make it through this. I’m 57 and a physician. I’ve seen through a lot in my life, I’ve seen a lot of pain in my own life, and in the lives of others. Trust me, if you can. This is a life passage for you–like a painful childbirth. It hurts, but you can survive it.</p>
<p>I’m not sure of your ethnicity and I feel this may be an important factor in the pressures put on you. Please seek to develop a sense of your own self-worth which is not dependent on the judgment of other people. I know the work you have done to achieve what you have. Cornell didn’t find you to be a fit. So what? There are many good schools who will be THRILLED to have you at their school. Find one of these. They will treat you well and grant you scholarships, like the University of Louisville did for me. </p>
<p>All is not lost. If you read my other posts, you will see that I put myself through college and medical school, with work, loans and scholarships.</p>
<p>I don’t know what your path will be from here, but it is yours to choose. I, for one, will be interested to hear which path you choose, once you have dried the tears and decided what you want to do next. Please let us know how you are doing.</p>
<p>HelloCornell, you sound like you are in a lot of pain. Please don’t do anything drastic. You recognized in your title that you need help. Please seek out a friend or a counselor or headmaster immediately. </p>
<p>There are a lot of people out here that are concerned about you. Please check in and let us know how you are doing.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience in life. The only advice I can give you is that you are not defined by your successes or your failures. Turn this into a learning experience and try to grow from it. I know you hate your parents now, but what you should feel is sadness and pity. They are not happy people. You have a chance for happiness- don’t let them define you.</p>
<p>I am sorry that you are shattered by grief. </p>
<p>At the same time no one died here. No lost legs. No lost arms. No dead baby. No dead spouse. </p>
<p>There are tons of paths open to you. Greatness isn’t shown when life is fabulous – Greatness shows up when you are floored with troubles and you decide to get off the floor. </p>
<p>The first step toward greatness is to throw away the kleenex box. The next step is to apologize to your parents for any nasty, mean, silly or immature behavior that you committed (even if they did stupid, mean stuff too. Start with your own apology. That’s called “leadership”). </p>
<p>The third step is to take a big deep breath and ask “what in this big, amazing world would make me happy?”</p>
<p>Most people have a vision of DOING something (nurse, engineer, artist, etc). Somehow you got sidetracked on BEING someplace (Cornell). Can you turn your focus on to what you want to DO in your life? </p>
<p>I hope you’ll check back in a year. You’ll be older, wiser, tougher – and a bit amazed at how upset you were. And, hopefully, also quite a bit proud of how you dusted yourself off and took a step toward Greatness.</p>
<p>y’know, I actually attended Cornell, and sometimes I wonder whether I woud have been better off if I’d gone someplace easier. Loved it there, but I had my butt kicked for 4 years.</p>
<p>Who knows why they make some of these decisions, you did what you could, the rest is out of your control. so don;t sweat it. Just find someplace else you can love, that seems to love you back, and try your darndest to kick butt once you get there.</p>
<p>Believe me, this is not the end of your world. Your world hasn’t even started.</p>
<p>HelloCornell, you are so young. Life is a long marathon and you barely crossed the first mile. Life throws lots of disappointments at you. Everyone fails to achieve their highest goals once in a while. You set your sights high and gave it your best. No one can take away all that you learned. You can put that to good use in one of the numerous other colleges.</p>
<p>An occasional failure is a reminder that you have stretched yourself. You are better off for having given your best. Move on. First thing you should do is change your CC handle to something else. Forget about it and say hello to a college that wants you.</p>
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<p>There is every reason NOT to fall in love with ANY college until you get your acceptances in hand.</p>
<p>Most people go through life without going to Cornell or even thinking about Cornell. It is not the end all pinnacle of happiness for the vast majority of the world. You have been under massive pressure from your parents. Realize this was THEIR problem, not yours. Go to any possible school, away from home. Live a happy life and remember, as bad as you feel about this one thing today, every day from now it will be less painful. You can get over this momentary setback and end up at someplace that you might be far happier at. I wish you the best, and please don’t do anything serious, because this is just one unpleasant moment in your life. Things will get better.</p>
<p>You must feel so devastated that you suffered and sacrificed with the hope of getting the reward, but are now empty-handed. Only here’s the truth: you’re not really empty-handed at all! For one thing, you’ve gotten a great education so far. Also, what you have instead of that acceptance to Cornell is something much more valuable. You’ve learned some important lessons about life, about yourself, and about your parents. Some people don’t learn these things when they’re as young as you, and so they make more mistakes. Not you. You have the opportunity to apply these lessons now for greater benefit in the future. </p>
<ol>
<li><p>One lesson is that you will not be happy if your life is out of balance. Focusing too much on any one thing, no matter how good or important it is, is dangerous. When all your eggs are in one basket and the basket falls, you’ve lost everything. That’s what happened to you. However, it happened because you did what you were told you should do, and so you should be proud that you obeyed your parents and tried to honor them in that way. But moving forward into your adult life, now you know that you need to diversify your interests and efforts.</p></li>
<li><p>A sceond lesson you’ve learned is how badly parents can damage their children, and vice versa. Don’t make the same mistakes with your own children as your parents made with you. Here’s how you can practice for being a parent: find those other students who were also rejected from their dream schools and who also feel they’ve disappointed their teachers and parents, and tell them nice things about themselves to help them feel better. It will help you too. </p></li>
<li><p>A third lesson is that sometimes things happen for a reason. This rejection may be a blessing in disguise for you. Cornell is a very difficult school, and you sound like you need some rest right now. You were overworked in high school. You need less stress, more sleep, and more time with good friends–all things it might be easier to find somewhere other than Cornell. Also, English is not your first language and you might have really struggled at a school like Cornell because of that. Take some time to perfect your grammar and think about Cornell for grad school!</p></li>
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<p>Sorry about how things went. Lots of good advice above. I’m with Monydad above - there are many great colleges that will give you a lot more personal support than you would ever get as an undergrad at Cornell. You need to be really tough to like it there. BTW, one thing I learned there was how to take rejection because a lot of it came my way. Quite a bit of it was not necessary. Wouldn’t a small liberal arts type place be more supportive? I had a chip on my shoulder because I didn’t get into HYP, so I do relate. </p>
<p>When I got to grad school (small, personal), it was like the sun coming out on a cloudy day (lots of those in Ithaca too). People were warm, personal, much nicer (profs mainly - there are good/great kids everywhere). The educational experience was so much more rewarding too (even if competitive and challenging). Rejection didn’t stop with undergrad acceptances - its part of life. Most people don’t get every job they apply for or into every grad school or even every have every personal relationship work out well. Things go wrong for everyone (repeat again and again).</p>
<p>You can succeed without your parents behind you. I did not get too much help from mine regarding schooling, so I know. Talk to a counselor, and then look at your strengths.</p>