The only thing that continuously rests on my mind is the possibility of HYPSC and how I’ll never know because I chose to ED to Duke. It is hard to escape that mindset because everyone is talking about colleges around this time. I feel like I have a demon fiddling with my head. This sort of notion replays in my head again and again, that I had a decent chance in getting into at least one of the HYPSC.
I keep thinking, my E.C.s would have been at least average to above average for the applicant pools of these schools (bio research, leadership in clubs, competition awards, etc.), my GPA and SAT the same. One of my teachers wrote me an extraordinary recommendation. My essay was lovely… it touched deeply on my connections with members from my community which is impoverished and the conversations I had with friends living troubled, lost lives… even though I am the architect of this and biased I feel that this work is brimming with my creative energy – I should have aimed higher.
I know, that is the nature of the beast for early decision. I was certain back then that I wanted Duke, and but now everything seems different. Yet I have not found any method of reconciliation so far, and it has been damning on my studies. It even chases me in my dreams. Then I would wake and my blissful trance of going to Yale would disintegrate and I would feel numb. I tell myself it again and again and again, “darn you fool, and damn my doubt.” Just because I thought I was Asian male, I doubted myself on this very specific aspect. I am a victim of my own doubt, believing that something like Harvard was a sheer impossibility when I really did have a decent chance.
I am so bitter. No matter how much others tell me that Duke is a great school, ambition for more does indeed make me a slave. The desire is making me sick and I feel and look terrible. But most of all I feel lost and guilty, like I have just thrown away a chance at something greater. To all others who have yet to apply, I must say, don’t apply ED unless you are certain, and even if you think you were certain (like me), think again.
I find it ironic that for all the philosophy and psychology I love to read suddenly all the lessons they have imparted on me feel useless.
Duke’s ED rate this year was 25%. Congrats on your acceptance. You know that the RD rates for many of the elites is in the single digits, so your chances of admission were not strong, even for a qualified candidate. So try to let go of the “what if’s”. Buyer’s remorse is common. What if you ha applied ED or EA elsewhere, were deferred, and now sweating with the single digit acceptance rtes. Time to relax.
I am not sure whether the C in “HYPSC” is Chicago or somewhere else (Caltech, Cornell, …). However, at least “HYPS” are high reaches even for students with straight A’s and great ECs and great test scores and great references. Even a perfect student cannot really expect to attend one of these without a huge “hook”, such as being the child of a popular national leader.
Stanford said in an article sent to alumni a few years back that 80% of applicants are academically fully qualified to attend. They accept less than 5%. Assuming that you are in the 80% that are academically qualified, that still puts your chances as very low.
I was a graduate student at one of the “HYPS” schools. Most of the graduate students there had done their bachelor’s at schools that were ranked significantly lower than Duke. If you attend Duke, and if you do very well there, and if you intend to go on to graduate school, then you will still have a decent chance of attending any university in the US for graduate school, including the very top ones. One of the professors that I knew fairly well in graduate school was a very good professor, and left at the end of the year to go to teach at Duke.
You are going to find professors at Duke that are just as strong at as “HYPS”. You are going to find other students who are also very strong. You are going to find classes to be very challenging. If you can rise to the challenge and do well, you are going to have lots of great opportunities.
You posted the same thing over a month ago… I don’t mean to be harssh but get over it.
There are literally tens of thousands of kids that would fall all over themselves to be in your shoes. You were accepted into a top 12 school, haven’t had to fill out other applications and or spent 12 weeks sweating it out.
You made an adult decision that improved your chances of acceptance. You benefited from that uplift and it worked out. Now you are questioning that decision… You enjoy reading, then try Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”.
It over and it’s done. Go Enjoy your next four years and stop thinking about it.
It may help you to see that, in this example from a Boston Globe interview, the well-known respondent mentioned Harvard in the context of his “greatest regret”:
The point for you in this example of notable candor may be that it offers perspective on the great depth of feeling, much like that which you’ve expressed, associated with a college decision.
Being an Asian male IS a huge drawback in HYPSC’s acceptance, your chance of getting in are close to null. You chose to ED Duke is a very sensible and good decision. Make the most of your next four years. Maybe then, people will be talking about getting into HYPSD!
OP, in two weeks you will find out results of HYPS for applicants with similar profiles to yours. Perhaps, by then you will be glad you took the less risky route and secured a spot at a fabulous school like Duke. Do a search on CC threads from previous years (on Asian male rejections), you will realize that you could end up with nothing if you forwent the ED option. The following is just one of them: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/1876770-what-did-i-do-wrong-p1.html
Duke plays UNC in 45 minutes… Go paint your face blue, throw on a Duke sweatshirt and start yelling GO BLUE Devils and UNC Sucks! You will feel better in no time.
I can’t feel sorry for someone who is “bitter” they are going to Duke and not HPYSC. HPYSC is not some kind of magical kingdom where everything and everyone is perfect.
You are in an enviable position. Go bloom at Duke.
Yep. First, I don’t know where you get this wacky idea that Yale is so much better or greater than Duke. Can you explain? The adults in the room who have decades of life experience certainly don’t think so. Or that you even have a decent shot at Yale.
But if you really would be bitter at Duke, then man up, decommit, take a gap year, and try for HYPSM next year. Would you be happy if you didn’t get in anywhere? If not, then why are you not happy now?
BTW, have you looked through the Yale results thread?
Oh, and work out. A lot. You’d feel calmer. I think that’s part of your problem.
Duke is a nice admit. You should be feeling good about it. So many kids would love to be at and be able to afford DUKE. I do think it is a good lesson for 2020 and beyond to not do ED if you just have to know all the acceptances and rejections
Enjoy what you have and make the most of it. Apply for HYPSC for grad school. Life is too short to dwell on bitterness for the great opportunity you have. It won’t matter that much anyway in the long run. But what you make of your experience will last.
Duke is an amazing school. One thing that impresses me about people from Duke and Princeton, vs. H/Y, is the deep classical liberalist perspective they bring. I don’t mean politically progressive necessarily, but they have this historical context. It’s a remarkable community.
I know you are in the grass is always greener phase but really, Duke is a great school and I am sure you will be glad you accepted when you get there. You will meet other amazingly driven kids like yourself and you will realize that HYP is just a name, but Duke is your community.
Agree with the poster above. Paint your face blue. Go Duke!!!
Yep…Husband and I are both Duke alums, 1988. Duke basketball beats the hell out of those other schools and Duke reserves all lower bleachers around the court for only students. Being able to attend those games in Cameron Indoor Stadium is basically an unmatched opportunity in college. (When we attended, games were free for students too!) Join the band and get court side seats to March Madness every single year and probably a final four or two.
Besides the basketball, Duke has an incredible campus and most people think it’s a pretty awesome school… Still usually ranked 7-8 right??
If you really don’t want to go, please release the spot for someone who will appreciate the place. The sooner, the better…
Continue to let this eat away at you. Let it rob you of every shred of happiness you could have at Duke. And then, for the rest of your life, you can blame everything that goes wrong on the missed opportunity to possibly attend a "better" school.
Cut your losses, Get over it. DECIDE that this was the right choice made for the right reasons, and take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to attend an amazing school.
Happiness is very often a choice. You’re at a crossroads, and you’ve got to make that choice. What I’m saying, what everyone else on this thread is saying, is that it’s time to choose to love Duke, or to choose not to attend Duke. If you’re old enough to attend college, you’re old enough to exhibit the maturity to choose to love this fabulous school. If you’re determined not to love it, then please withdraw now. You parents will be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to get you this amazing opportunity. Please do not throw it away.