Should I accept that I’m a failure and have no chance of going to college with my low gpa from depression?
I’m going to be a Senior this school year in high school and I’m starting with a 2.4 gpa. Junior year, I failed one class and failed one semester of another. Every since my parents divorced when i was on ninth grade my went completely downhill. My father left my mother to raise five kids on her own, and she has a low paying job. We had to move out of our house and we started moving from shelter to shelter, or living with other ppl. We moved from state to state, and i went to multiple high schools. I eventually got severe depression and losr hope. And my grades started to decline. I’m really a intelligent girl, before my parents divorce, i was constantly on honor roll and participated in school. But all the crap we went through really affected me. I hate myself for doing bad in high school, its my fault, im a failure! I dont know how I’m gonna pay for college or get accepted to a college with my low gpa, no one believes in me, they rhink im a idiot. I’m losing hope, i don’t want to community college. My dream school was Northwestern University, but i know that i have no hope there. I even took the ACT once and got a 20, Thats terrible! I dont know what to do! I really want to go to college, its been my dream, I want to make my life better.
Don’t give up hope! Many colleges look at your whole profile. You could probably have your counselor write about your situation on your behalf. I don’t remember what it’s called, but there are laws in place that allow students with mental illness like depression equal access to universities. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. The college will probably also note how many times you’ve had to change schools which is hard on everyone. If you really want to go to Northwestern you can always go to a community college that functions as a feeder school. Many people do this for various reasons. It won’t be the end of the world because you can transfer. It actually wouldn’t be a bad way for you to bump your GPA up and save money. You should look into finding out if you qualify for a work study. I bet there are scholarship programs you can apply to because you have been homeless in the past. Colleges will listen to your story because it is not something most teenagers have to deal with. Try to work you hardest in school for now and study for the ACT. Best Wishes!!
OK, deep breaths.
A few different issues going on here:
First and foremost, have things become a bit more stable for your family? Do you have, or need to get, a part time job to help out with finances? No problem if you do-- everyone I knew growing up worked, and my own 17 year old son and 15 year old daughter both have jobs. But right now, in August, might be a great time to tackle that, as a lot of college kids are heading back to school. Start looking today. www.snagajob.com might be a good place to start. Write up a resume, and apply everywhere you can. Today.
Next, we have to work on the idea that you hate yourself because of your grades.
I’ve been teaching high school since long before you were born. And I have to tell you: grades have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the quality of the kid. I’ve taught some kids with high grades who were simply miserable people. And any number of kids who struggled who were salt of the earth, wonderful, wonderful people. So the first thing you need to tackle is the idea that failing a class makes you a failure as a person. They’re absolutely different things, and the quality of the person is the far, far more important measure.
Some employers, including Starbucks, offer money for college to their employees. Start looking here: http://www.businessinsider.com/companies-that-will-pay-for-your-tuition-2014-6
OK, now let’s talk about that depression. Have you seen a counselor? Are you still seeing one? If not, contact school TODAY. (Yeah, I know it’s summer. But someone in the district office or the high school should be able to help you.) If not, then check your county board of health website for free help. Depression, like pneumonia, needs to be treated.
OK, next, let’s discuss college. For starters, don’t be so quick to eliminate community college. (OK, maybe I’m a bit biased. I spent 2 years at CC, got my Associate’s Degree in math, then transferred to a local university and got my Bachelor’s. I graduated with teaching certification, and had a job lined up by graduation day.) Kids on this site in particular, and in high school in general, tend to dismiss CC as unworthy. In reality, it’s a wonderful way to get the first 2 years of your college education at a remarkably cheap price-- simply because your parent’s tax dollars have financed that college. It’s cheap because it’s tax funded, not because of any issues with the quality of the education.
What courses are you taking this year? Do you have a math course in there? Lots of colleges are starting to look for that 4th year of math. Do you have courses that show that you’re a serious student? And are they courses that you’ll be able to do well in? Or did you do your course selections in the midst of an “I don’t care; my life is in ruins and it doesn’t matter anyway” moment? Take a look at those courses now, and if necessary make changes.
Make an appointment with your guidance counselor ASAP and discuss options. You won’t be the first student with this particular set of circumstances she has dealt with.
The best of luck to you. Get started on that resume, the job search, the search for a counselor, and email your guidance counselor.
OP, hang in there. It is an important step that you are taking just by sharing your feelings. You are going thru a lot so it is understandable that it affects you! Surround yourself with people who care about you and try to keep a positive outlook. There is some excellent advice ^ and I hope you know that this website has a lot of people who can help.
As for your college plans, there is no reason to lose hope!! I am not saying you can’t get admitted to Northwestern but it is not the only school in the world! Actually I never allow my kids to set their hearts on only one school. If you really want to go to college, it is time to think about strategies for school…but the first learning is that there are many paths to academic success, and if you only explore one, you may be missing the other routes which are better for you.
Keep coming back for more advice – there are many posters with lots of experience helping kids get on their feet!
I’m taking a fourth year of math, Pre Caculus, Fourth year of science, Ap Biology, fourth year of English, Ap Literature.
OK, so obviously you’re a bright kid. Wonderful. That will help, and will lend credibility when your guidance counselor explains your GPA in terms of the hard time you’ve had.
Thanks and i know Stanford is out of the picture, i need to be realistic
I have no idea about the particulars of most colleges.
But you know what?? There’s nothing wrong with combining practicality with a little bit of dreaming. Sure, you need it to be reality based-- don’t apply anywhere where the cost of attendance isn’t somewhere near achievable. But it doesn’t hurt to put a reach or two in there, as long as you realize it to be a reach.
You sound like a strong kid-- you would have to be, given the circumstances you’ve been in. I bet that you’re one of those kids who WILL be successful no matter where you go.
How about this as a plan of action for today:
- See about a mental health counselor. That depression you mentioned needs to be tackled. Email your guidance counselor now.
- Look into part time jobs. Register at snagajob and apply for a few. Also now.
- Start your common app essay. BUT be mindful-- you want it to tell or imply that you're a smart, resourceful person, not a victim of circumstances. Tell a story of something you DID, not of something that happened to you.
- Put in a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher, do something else for your family. It will make you feel better.
- Get outside for at least half an hour or so, more if you can manage it. Sunshine is good for the soul.
Thanks, I really appreciate the adbice, i am really a hard worker, I just want to be able to given the chance. The reason i wanted to go to Stanford is because families who make less than 65,000 automatically get free tuition.
OK, so TRY!!! What do you have to lose??? And while you’re at it, look for other similar programs.
But don’t limit yourself-- cast a wide net.
You want next spring to be a time when you’re choosing from options, not scrambling for anything that will work.
And you know what? If you do end up at community college because it’s the best of the options, that’s OK. Don’t eliminate it or any other option. I know our local CC has an honors track. Do well there, bring up your GPA, and you may find that in 2 years your picture is a lot less bleak.
Thanks for the encouragement, I really needed it. I really want to go to a university, I’m gonna work hard this school year.
@ChantaeG , Ok, I’ve got to run… bank, laundry, dentist all on tap for this morning.
But before I do: what are you going to do today?
Check in with me later or later this week and let me know how you’re doing, OK?
.i will check in with you, today im going to do some chores and take a walk at the park, and read to relax.
Wonderful posts bjkmom! It is so nice to see such a compassionate and encouraging post here!!!
It also helps to remember that college confidential is full of kids who are of the over-achieving crowd and tend to put more stigmas on things like community college than there need to be. Also, there’s nothing wrong with not having a GPA below a 4.0. Some of the people on here are never satisfied, and tend to show off their rigorous schedules and complain about not being accepted to the best universities, or something. Don’t let it bring you down: most of the people on here are either A) unrealistic or B) spend way too much time focusing on school to have much going on outside of it.
Don’t erase the possibility of community college, there’s no shame in it! Remember that all colleges will get you to the same place, you’re just paying for names.
I hope everything goes well for you. You’re really bright and strong, and I know you’re going to go places in life. Keep your head up!
Thank you for the encouragement! And thats how ppl at my school are, they make me feel stupid and bad about my gpa.
You’re taking Pre-calculus and two college classes while in high school, and dealing with a laundry list of issues I’ve never faced. You know what a bell curve looks like. Rest assured that you’re a million miles from the “stupid” end of that bell curve.
But let’s talk about that for a moment. One of the wonderful things about being my age is that I care less and less with each passing moment about the opinion of others. I don’t care about the opinions of people I don’t respect. My husband, my siblings, my friends, my boss, even the kids I teach, sure. But others, who don’t know what’s going on in my life? Nope.
I realize it’s hard at age 17. You’re pretty much sure that the entire world is focused on you at every moment, and that someone is taking notes of each and every misstep. But you know what?? They’re not. The people of quality, the people you respect, the people you look up to, they’re not. They’re rooting for you. And when you do-- gasp!!-- experience an occasional failure, they’re rooting for you to get past it. Try, hard, to surround yourself with those people and to ignore the others. .
Thanks so much, you’ve made my day; you given me so much encouragement and advice. Thank you for taking time out of your day to do tgi, I really appreciate it. And another think I’m worried is paying for college. My gpa isn’t high enough for a full ride.
I have no real words of wisdom for you there-- I wish I did. (Particularly with 3 kids of my own to educate.)
But that’s another conversation to have with College Placement at your school. I’m sure there are programs out there for kids who have struggled the way you have, but I’m totally unaware of them.
You mentioned Cornell-- find the name of their program and google “programs like ___.” You have a few weeks before school starts-- spend some time each day finding schools that are relatively “affordable” and that offer a lot of aid.
And check that link on employers who reimburse tuition.
Have you done anything on the mental health front?
If anyone finds any scholarships for students who’ve been homeless, please send me them. I was homeless for four months sophomore year We stayed in our car or with other families, though, not shelters (if this matters).
OP: I’m so sorry you’ve been through this. I have a very similar situation, as you can see above. I’ve attended three high schools, and I’m a rising senior. My mother has a low-paying job. Luckily, I’m a single child, or we’d be much poorer.
My dad has a pretty high-paying job, although he rarely gives me money/presents (only on holidays). He doesn’t have any other children, this is just him being unfair. I doubt he’ll help with paying tuition, so my EFC is only $650. I don’t know any colleges at that price!
I also dreamed of going to an OOS school, but I’ll most likely attend an in-state university. It’s much better than the local CC. It’s actually cheaper, as it’s only 4K more a year, with R&B! I’m even considering staying at this school for four years, and getting my master’s in CA (dream state). I would LOVE to move to CA immediately. But, I have to be realistic. I don’t want to risk becoming homeless again.
Northwestern is 62K, that’s very expensive! Although private schools do give more OOS aid than publics, I doubt your tuition would be very low. You can improve your GPA at a CC, and you’d be able receive more aid!
Good luck!