I feel like I'm being quartered...

Transfer Students
1

<p>At the moment I am in what feels like a torture chamber with multiple pressures dragging me in different directions and just not making me feel all that great. As you may have already inferred, this has to do with college-and more specifically- transferring. </p>

<p>My situation might not be as atypical as I might think; I'm pretty sure there are other people out there that are equally as dissatisfied with their situations as me, but honestly I have no idea what to do at this point.</p>

<p>Right now I am a freshman at NYU. Just to get it out of the way, I can say that the reasons I am here can be narrowed down to
1) Name- Lying won't get me anywhere at this point, NYU was the best school academically (at least according to USNews+Review) that I had gotten into. After a brutal round of college rejections, the name sounded pretty sweet at the time</p>

<p>2) Location- I'm originally from California, so the thought of going to school on the East Coast seemed (and actually still does now) intriguing. I really needed to get away.</p>

<p>3) I didn't really have much of a choice. I considerably underachieved in high school, and at the end of the day my top 2 choices were either UC-Davis (which isn't a bad school IMO, but its location 10 minutes away from my house just made it way too close to attend). Thus, at the time NYU seemed like the best option and I don't regret coming here at all because there is no way I could have known then what I know now.</p>

<p>BUT now that I am here I am in a bout of severe unhappiness that makes me wonder if I should even be here. I feel like it is very, very, very hard to meet new people here when there is no centralized campus, and my “dorm” is an apartment that is a 15 minute walk from the Washington Square Park “campus”. And I think it is downright near impossible (at least for me), to do that while being as attendant to my studies and GPA as possible.</p>

<p>It’s funny because I didn’t really think about this until during Winter Break, when I realized I had nothing to fall back on besides my grades. Last semester I, in a passionate drive towards academics inspired by sheer disappointment in my high school performance, worked my *** off to get as best grades as possible. I actually managed to get my college GPA higher than anything I had received in high school. I assure you I am not attempting to boast or brag; given my social situation it’s not really something I’m really proud of anyways.
My friendship circle basically consisted of a couple of guys in my dorm. At that time, I realized that having such a limited (considering all those people out there in the city) group of friends might cause problems in the future, but because I was overworking myself and truly short on free time, I just turned my back to it. And now I’m paying for it. A huge percentage of these guys are planning on transferring, the same guys that told me that it’d be alright last semester. It feels like whatever I worked for last semester has just been lost. Obviously I can attempt to meet new people, but again the campusless and amazing integration into the city NYU has makes it really hard to meet anyone that actually goes to NYU, let alone someone that you have similar interests with, befriend, and even confide stuff like this with. I’ve definitely tried.</p>

<p>So obviously after hearing this disheartening news I also want to transfer. But I feel like I’m being cornered by a lot of a lot of other pressures. Basically, because I haven’t truly figured out what exactly is causing my unhappiness here, I am still trying to figure out what schools to apply to. West Coast? East Coast? LAC? Ivy for the hell of it? I am seeing a lot of soul-searching in the future. But applications deadlines are on the horizon, and I need to get all of those papers signed, but I can’t really do that if I don’t know where to apply to. I’ve been given suggestions for where to apply, but I feel truly rushed by this whole process. Add to this mess increasingly overbearing academics as well as time-consuming attempts to actually improve and maybe even enjoy my social situation here, and I don’t even know if I have enough time for all of this even if I didn’t sleep in the next month. I don’t even know where to begin and it is just stressful and depressing even thinking about it.</p>

<p>A suggestion I’ve been given is wait until next year and then apply with potentially more chances and more thought into the whole process. Plus it might make my time a little less stressful here. But what pops in mind at that moment is- I’ve got 4 years to have the “time of my life”. If it turns out I really don’t like it here, and decide to transfer next year, 3 years of the “time of my life” turns into 2. And that could be something I might regret for the rest of my life.</p>

<p>I’m not looking for chances or anything of that matter. I’m just looking for advice. And even if I don’t get that, writing this out did help me organize my thoughts and temporarily make me feel better. And it’s also starting to dawn on me that this could be interpreted as either a pathetic sob-story or desperate last-ditch thread for advice. So I’d like to give my thanks, as well as apologies to whoever took the time to read all of this.</p>

2

<p>it not a pathetic story(it is a long one though;))</p>

<p>i think part of you unhappiness is coming from your mindset. a lot of students who know they are going to transfer think "hey i'm leaving in a couple years anyway, whats the point of making friends?". dont do that. if you refuse to think that way, you'll enjoy 4 years instead of 2. also, dont tell any new friends that you are transferring, as they will distance themselves from you.</p>

<p>another thing i see is that your going to NYU - one of the biggest city colleges in the country. your from a rural home, i assume, if you live near uc-davis. personally, i think NYU is too pre-professional. i think what you need is a smaller, more close-knit college not located in the city. most of the ivies will give you that, as well as all the LAC's.</p>

<p>p.s. where are your friends transferring to?
p.s. 2 - freshman year sucks for a lot of people(including me)</p>

3

<p>Not pathetic at all. You established goals for yourself which you've done an excellent job of meeting through hard work; you've realized you need more balance in your life and have set new goals for that; you're searching for information on how best to meet those new goals. I don't know anything about transferring or NYU, so can't give advice. But I do think you have a lot going for yourself as a person.</p>

4

<p>I agree with the previous poster, you've got nothing to be ashamed of. Having been in a similar situation as yourself maybe I can give you come advice. I'm from a small college town in the south and like you, I chose my school (large private research university in PA) because it was the best one that I got into/a "new ivy." I also did really well my first semester but I was a little unsure about being so far from home, and like you many of my friends applied to transfer. I think it's easy to get down on a place when the people around you constantly talk about getting out, but its good to just try new things and approach your experience from a new angle. I decided not to fill out applications my freshman year and instead I started joining new clubs and making new friends- you'll be surprised how much better it makes it. As a sophomore I've decided to send in transfer applications but I feel much better about the whole process now that I know I've done everything to be happy at my current school (and had time to think about where I'd rather be.) Sooo, if you're really miserable then there's still time to do applications now but if you have the energy to get out there and make the best of things it really helps you grow as a person, especially since it seems like you aren't sure yet about where to transfer- you might even find a new interest or two that will help you decide where to apply. That's what worked for me =) One last option, I have a friend at NYU and it seems like it's pretty easy to study abroad there- maybe you could do the fall or summer abroad if you end up staying just for some change. Good luck with everything!</p>

5

<p>I agree, freshman year sucks for a lot of people, and you are not alone in that respect. Also, I think it's very common to go through a period of isolation and to be frank, depression, after moving to NYC. It's incredibly overwhelming. It's like you're in the biggest city in the world, but all alone at the same time. This is temporary, however, and just the way the sun will no doubt rise and set with each passing day, you will meet friends, develop a social life, and eventually become one of the many proud New Yorkers. I know you're probably thinking "no way", but it's just my feeling that if the city hasn't completely turned you off for other reasons by this point, you probably have the potential to be happy there. You can certainly do what you will w/ my advice, but I say ride it out. The whole "these 4 years will be the best time of your life" is somewhat of a glorified fairy tale. The only potential regret would be letting your grades slide. As long as you keep the grades up you're not wasting your precious glory years or anything. So I say stick it out and go about your life as if transferring isn't an option; then reevalute things next year. It's just that freshman year in itself is such a weird experience, not to mention having it take place in Greenwich Village. Of course it's going to be one hell of an adjustment, and it doesn't come overnight be any means. Best of luck to you, and hopefully things work out. It's a great city, and if you stay I'm sure you'll grow to love it.</p>

6

<p>First off, thanks to all of you for the advice.</p>

<p>alipes07, </p>

<p>I definitely try not to tell people that I'm transferring, as I know it is a buzzkill that affected me when one of my, prior to winter break, closest friends talked to me about transferring. He certainly didn't make my mind for me, but I'm starting to realize that, yeah attitude does bring things down. The guys want to apply to a bunch of different places. One wants to transfer to transfer to liberal arts colleges all over (doesn't really feel the pre professional city atmosphere quite yet, I can sympathize), another wants to transfer to other private universities, ones with campuses.</p>

<p>2blue, thanks for the encouragement.</p>

<p>diormenot, </p>

<p>I know exactly what you mean. My initial plan prior to the start of Spring Semester was to apply for transfer while simultaneously trying to enjoy life and enjoy NYU and attempt to grow to love it. In theory I thought it was possible, but when I'm trying to keep my grades as high as possible and taking Calculus (which I know is possible to get an A-/A in but is going to take quite some time and effort, at least for me), I'm starting to find myself stuck in a severe time crunch, adding stress to the picture. So it kind of seems like I'm going to inevitably have to pick between even applying for transfer and enjoying myself. I'm wondering, were you pretty serious about transferring? </p>

<p>Oh and I am hopefully going to study abroad, good call about that, sometime next year in China.</p>

<p>chessiestyle,</p>

<p>First off, I agree with you 100% that NYC is a great city that undoubtedly will take quite some time and effort getting used to. I also believe that learning to live independently in the city can be a chore, but pays off in the end. This was another reason why NYU attracted me in the first place. But the whole "glorified fairy tale" is actually one of my concerns. Prior to seriously considering transferring, I always wondered what it was like in a traditional college setting- one with a centralized campus, a more defined community, etc. Now I'm starting to yearn for it. Have you lived in New York City? If so, can I ask you, how much am I truly missing? Granted, New York City is great and theres never been an occasion where I haven't been able to do something because it just wasn't there, but I've never actually lived on a campus before, and I sometimes feel like I've just been slammed into real life without the college experience. I can always live in the city some time later in my life..</p>

7

<p>Well I haven't actually lived in the city since I was a little kid, (moved to L.I., among other places), but my Dad still lives there and a lot of my friends have moved there. I guess your struggle just sounds all too familiar. As far as what you're missing (w/ regard to not living in the traditional college setting), it's hard to say. I went away to a school w/ a campus, then dropped out/transfered to community college. Most of my friends did have the traditional experience though, and I think I can speak on their behalf. Most found the adjustment difficult the first year, liked it the second year, but by junior year everyone had moved off campus anyway. At that point the whole dorm room/cafeteria/campus community thing seemed pretty baby, and everyone was ready to move on. So while having a campus is fun, it's just short lived. By the time you're a junior you're probably going to much preffer your current set-up. I certainly can't speak for you, as everybody is different, but that's that's just my take.</p>

8

<p>Maybe I can give you some perspective.....I transferred to NYU and lived in NYC for 14 years. Going to NYU is different than a campus school. I transferred from a campus school to NYU. NYU is like living in the city and going to classes. But then, I love the city. </p>

<p>At first I lived in the dorm. I made some friends in the dorm, as you said you have as well. That is the best place to start. Also try and connect with kids in your classes. The next thing to try is to get involved in clubs or organizations that interest you. I didn't do this, but it would have been a good idea. I just didn't need a ton of friends to hang out with....I met a few fun people, had a boyfriend and the city itself became a huge part of my life. I really did all it had to offer.....got tickets for shows, went to independent movies (the Angelika theater is awesome), joined a health club, hung out at restaurants and cafes, went to concerts and clubs to hear music, spent time at Soho gallery openings, jogged around Washington Square Park. The Village became my life. Then I moved out of the dorm and got an apartment. I met people in my building. I got a part time job and met people there. I really didn't feel like a college student and I loved the feeling of independence. </p>

<p>But, it may be that this type of experience is not the right one for you. Do you have friends that go to campus type schools? If so, then I would pay them a visit for a weekend and see how the other half live, so to speak. Compare the two and see where you think you would be happier.</p>

<p>Personally, I think the parties and binge drinking at campus schools gets dull pretty quickly. You tend to see the same kids over again making fools of themselves. I couldn't wait to get away from that experience and hang with with people from all walks of life that were already living and doing interesting things, living outside of the box. </p>

<p>If I can answer any questions for you, feel free to post.
Good luck whatever you decide.</p>

9

<p>When I downloaded applications my freshman year it was more because I was unhappy socially and wanted to give up, so my friends & family all told me to just wait it out and I'm happy I did. If social stuff is what's bothering you the most then I think it's good to just give it some time. If that was the only issue I'd definitely stay at my current school but I don't really like the way my school handles my major so I figured I might as well apply to a couple of other schools =). I think it's all about getting into the right frame of mind with this stuff though- thinking more about why you would be happier/more productive somewhere else than why you don't like the current school if that makes sense. Are you hoping for law/med school? If not then I think it's ok to take it easy for a semester- a B in Calc won't kill you =) I became the most happy when I just relaxed about grades last semester and got out more- and I still ended up getting the same grades I got the previous semester (good ones haha.) Good luck with everything! I can't really say how you're feeling but you seem to have created a win win situation for yourself either way- if you stay you've got a great GPA to build on and if you want to leave you've got a great GPA to apply with.</p>